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This is my son Ludwig.
S: Ludwig? Really? You have the coolest name ever! We're best friends now.
T: We'll have to see if Ludwig is cool enough to have that name. It'd be unfortunate if he was not.

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This is my son, Claud-Carl.
S: Hi Claude-Carl! That's adorable. Should I call him by his full name?
T: Cool. Crossing my fingers he isn't teased in junior high school. That'd be so unfortunate.

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This is my daughter, Fancy. I see by the look on your face that you are disconcerted; fear not, her actual name is Frances. I wanted to call her Fanny but I think Fancy's a little more workable, don't you?
S: I'm so happy to meet a little Frances!
T: Francy would have been a quad-droople-plex times better.

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This is my son, Franz Felix.
S: Hey Franzy! Your name rocks!
T: 'Tis true. It kicks ass.

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This is my daughter, Delight.
S: How sweet!
T: Well, since it's on a real person, I'll force myself to only see the upsides, though I really hope her sister isn't named something like Precious...

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This is my daughter Wilma.
S: Wilma, that's such an endearing name for a little girl...She just made my day!
T: She really did. I just hope to God that other people can appreciate it.

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This is my daughter Nella.
S: Nella? That's cool! Is it short for anything?
T: Vanilla perhaps? It's pretty cool though. That association just keeps bothering me.

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These are my sons, Fingal and Finbar.
S: Cooool! Those are new ones. What nationality do the names belong to?
T: Kind of awesome, but kind of odd. So odd that I as a name-nerd needed to look them up. I do like the names though.

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These are my children, Phineas and Nigella.
S: I love it! You're a Harry Potter fan I take it?
T: I am a dork. Majorly...Nigella rocks, and is great with Phineas.

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This is my daughter Birdie. Why, yes, since you ask, it's short for Bernadette.
S: That's so sweet. I love it!
T: I'm so relieved that it's short for Bernadette!

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This is my son Sylvester.
S: Hi Sylvester! What a handsome name you have!
T: I see a new yuppie name emerging. It's pretty cool though.

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This is my pot-bellied pig:
-Belinda: great name for a pot BELlied pig
-Pamela: my goodness you're as fat as Pam's chest!
-Carmen: I guess this means no baby Carmen? That's a shame. But it's great on a pig too!
-Henning: cool name, be better for a rooster though...
-Chris: a pig named Chris?...you must have known a very unfortunate Chris. If not, I hate mundane names on animals. I'm not sure why.
-Piggus: I'm game
-Fluffy: the irony is delicious
-Johann Georg: sweeeet