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HelpRe: Thoughts on a nickname for my still-regretful name choice....
in reply to a message by anxiolytics
I think you gotta back off, because if everyone's calling her Rosalie and your own husband is annoyed with you (you had him look at 30 or 40 names?!), sooner or later it will start to seem to be about the baby herself, and not just a name.
It wasn't just in his mind that you had an agreement. You actually did agree with him about the name! Now you want to un-agree and he says no, so ... I have to ask, have you ever heard of displacement? Maybe you should consider the possibility that there was some other, more important and less controllable situation, in which you agreed to something with your husband and regretted it. Maybe your feelings about something else, that you won't or can't easily address, are coming out about the name, where you feel you could have control and "fix" it. How did your childbirth go?
Don't answer that, please. I'm only going off psychologizing, because your obsession with something you really could just choose to be positive about, seems to be getting potentially destructive. That's my impression from what you say, and how you seem determined to talk yourself into how much you hate Rosalie and yet can't come up with an agreeable alternative.
FWIW it might help you to remember that -ie endings in French-derived names such as Rosalie are not cutesy at all but formal. Natalie, Amelie, Eugenie, Eulalie, Sylvie, Marie. These are not cutesy and do not seem cutesy. Rosalie is not only in a style that resembles French origin, it IS a legitimate French form. Also, Rose is one of the most dignified and ancient symbols to be found in feminine names. It's not just pretty-pretty or fashionable. Zalia, on the other hand ... I dunno.
And I have encountered the (nick)name Rosie on a girl and I think it seems strong, not cute.
It wasn't just in his mind that you had an agreement. You actually did agree with him about the name! Now you want to un-agree and he says no, so ... I have to ask, have you ever heard of displacement? Maybe you should consider the possibility that there was some other, more important and less controllable situation, in which you agreed to something with your husband and regretted it. Maybe your feelings about something else, that you won't or can't easily address, are coming out about the name, where you feel you could have control and "fix" it. How did your childbirth go?
Don't answer that, please. I'm only going off psychologizing, because your obsession with something you really could just choose to be positive about, seems to be getting potentially destructive. That's my impression from what you say, and how you seem determined to talk yourself into how much you hate Rosalie and yet can't come up with an agreeable alternative.
FWIW it might help you to remember that -ie endings in French-derived names such as Rosalie are not cutesy at all but formal. Natalie, Amelie, Eugenie, Eulalie, Sylvie, Marie. These are not cutesy and do not seem cutesy. Rosalie is not only in a style that resembles French origin, it IS a legitimate French form. Also, Rose is one of the most dignified and ancient symbols to be found in feminine names. It's not just pretty-pretty or fashionable. Zalia, on the other hand ... I dunno.
And I have encountered the (nick)name Rosie on a girl and I think it seems strong, not cute.
This message was edited 4/10/2012, 12:43 PM
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