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HelpRe: Thoughts on a nickname for my still-regretful name choice....
in reply to a message by mirfak
quote:
It wasn't just in his mind that you had an agreement. You actually did agree with him about the name! Now you want to un-agree and he says no, so ... I have to ask, have you ever heard of displacement? Maybe you should consider the possibility that there was some other, more important and less controllable situation, in which you agreed to something with your husband and regretted it. Maybe your feelings about something else, that you won't or can't easily address, are coming out about the name, where you feel you could have control and "fix" it. How did your childbirth go?
I won't answer it but yes I have heard of displacement and this is all a valid thought process on your part and a possibility I suppose. And I do feel a little angry that I did not want to name her at the hospital and he pressured me to choose then, as he did not want to come back in two weeks to fill out the forms, he just wanted it done.
yes, I agree that reminding myself of the french name-ending angle is also a valid/important one to consider, regardless of how other people might interpret the name. I think I just had not realized that it would be misinterpreted as a compound name and since I never liked the ends-in-ee sound much anyway, that got the ball rolling in the wrong direction for me.
Since he told me I could come up with a nickname or pet name I figured I might try that angle.
Thanks for your thoughts.
It wasn't just in his mind that you had an agreement. You actually did agree with him about the name! Now you want to un-agree and he says no, so ... I have to ask, have you ever heard of displacement? Maybe you should consider the possibility that there was some other, more important and less controllable situation, in which you agreed to something with your husband and regretted it. Maybe your feelings about something else, that you won't or can't easily address, are coming out about the name, where you feel you could have control and "fix" it. How did your childbirth go?
I won't answer it but yes I have heard of displacement and this is all a valid thought process on your part and a possibility I suppose. And I do feel a little angry that I did not want to name her at the hospital and he pressured me to choose then, as he did not want to come back in two weeks to fill out the forms, he just wanted it done.
yes, I agree that reminding myself of the french name-ending angle is also a valid/important one to consider, regardless of how other people might interpret the name. I think I just had not realized that it would be misinterpreted as a compound name and since I never liked the ends-in-ee sound much anyway, that got the ball rolling in the wrong direction for me.
Since he told me I could come up with a nickname or pet name I figured I might try that angle.
Thanks for your thoughts.
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