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ArchivesLet's take the "WHAT IS ELAINE'S PROBLEM?" Quiz!
in reply to a message by Jessa
Because Elaine has made it QUITE CLEAR that it is VERY, VERY IMPORTANT that we all know and understand her, I invite everyone here to take the "WHAT IS ELAINE'S PROBLEM?" Quiz!
The statements below are all Elaine 's own words -- simply choose from the multiple choices under each statement to see how well you know Elaine ! (And also how well you know people just like her).
Here is Elaine 's personal introduction to the "WHAT IS ELAINE'S PROBLEM?" Quiz! :
"Were you on alcohol, crack cocaine or some other drug when you decided to do this? Yap yap yap. It is ridiculous to yap yap yap. Why can't you give the child two yap yap yap normal yap yap yap names? By the way, yap yap yap to the yap yap yap your child any yap yap yap either. Everytime yap yap yap fill out legal documents, yap yap yap shoved down your yap yap yap throat. It won't matter how many times yap yap yap because people will still insist on yap yap yap.... "
OOOOOOKAY! Let's get started with the "WHAT IS ELAINE'S PROBLEM?" Quiz!
Statement #1:
"They will never listen unless your child screams at them millions of times and then these idiots will label your child a jerk."
A. People never listened to Elaine as a child because people just SUCK!
B. People never listened to Elaine as a child because they didn't understand what the hell she was yapping about.
C. People never listened to Elaine as a child because they were deafened by her screaming like a jerk all the time.
Statement #2
"Strangers never ask you which name you prefer to use."
A. Strangers never asked Elaine which name she prefers to use because strangers just SUCK!
B. Strangers never asked Elaine which name she prefers to use because they thought it wise to avoid eye-contact with her.
C. Strangers never asked Elaine which name she prefers to use because nobody gives a crap.
Statement #3
"The reason why I know so much about this is because I have been called by my middle name instead of my first name every single day of my life and it is a pain in the neck. I absolutely detest my first name."
A. Elaine absolutely detests her first name because her first name SUCKS!
B. Elaine absolutely detests her first name because of a traumatic childhood experience that Elaine will be more than willing to tell you about if she can corner you for another six hours.
C. Elaine absolutely detests her first name because... well... Ah, geeze, does anyone really give a crap?
Statement #4
"People have given me dirty looks when I have corrected them for calling me by the wrong name."
A. People have given Elaine dirty looks because people just SUCK!
B. People have given Elaine dirty looks because Elaine parks in handicapped parking spaces and it's obvious that Elaine 's handicap is an emotional, rather than a physical, one.
C. People have given Elaine dirty looks because Elaine has a habit of constantly "correcting" everyone around her.
Statement #5
"Prospective employers have always ruined my name and one jerk talked to me like he wanted to slap my face when I corrected him about the first name garbage."
A. A prospective employer talked to Elaine like he wanted to slap her face because prospective employers just SUCK!
B. A prospective employer talked to Elaine like he wanted to slap her face because he thought he saw a fly crawling on her eyelid.
C. A prospective employer talked to Elaine like he wanted to slap her face because she's just SO FREAKIN' ANNOYING.
Statement #6
"One college professor asked me if I was too stupid to know which name I preferred to use and he asked me this question in front of about thirty students."
A. The college professor asked Elaine if she was stupid because college professors just SUCK!
B. The college professor asked Elaine if she was stupid because Elaine wouldn't leave the classroom until she'd first finished "correcting" everyone in the room.
C. The college professor asked Elaine if she was stupid because Elaine naturally gives people that impression.
Statement #7
"Once my fifth grade classmates lied to the substitute teacher about which name I used but this wasn't just one or two obnoxious students who did this. The entire class did it..."
A. The entire class did it because fifth grade students just SUCK!
B. The entire class did it because they wanted to see if Elaine would try to "correct" the teacher.
C. The entire class did it because Elaine was just one of those kids in school that nobody likes.
Statement #8
"A shop teacher in high school called me by the wrong name for about six weeks and another teacher did it a whole year."
A. The teachers did that because teachers just SUCK!
B. The teachers did that because they were actively participating in a nation-wide conspiracy against Elaine .
C. The teachers did that because they didn't give a crap about Elaine 's name. Who the hell does?
Statement #9
"Several years ago, a sales clerk in a store asked me if the reason why my parents called me by my middle name was because of the possibility that my parents didn't want me."
A. The sales clerk asked Elaine that because sales clerks just SUCK!
B. The sales clerk asked Elaine that because all the other customers waiting impatiently at the checkout line for Elaine to SHUT THE CRAP UP just weren't as interesting as Elaine .
C. The sales clerk asked Elaine that because she knew Elaine 's parents and sympathized with them.
Statement #10
"You should also pay very close attention to your child's initials because they should not spell any bad words that will cause your child to be teased by a bully."
A. You should make sure your child's initials don't spell any bad words because if you don't then you just SUCK!
B. You should make sure your child's initials don't spell any bad words because if you don't, Elaine will jump into her little Name Police patrol car with the little bell she likes to ring, and peddle it furiously until she has apprehended you and "corrected" you.
C. You should make sure your child's initials don't spell any bad words because, at this point, you will be anxious to do almost anything that might get Elaine to shut the crap up.
-- Nanaea
The statements below are all Elaine 's own words -- simply choose from the multiple choices under each statement to see how well you know Elaine ! (And also how well you know people just like her).
Here is Elaine 's personal introduction to the "WHAT IS ELAINE'S PROBLEM?" Quiz! :
"Were you on alcohol, crack cocaine or some other drug when you decided to do this? Yap yap yap. It is ridiculous to yap yap yap. Why can't you give the child two yap yap yap normal yap yap yap names? By the way, yap yap yap to the yap yap yap your child any yap yap yap either. Everytime yap yap yap fill out legal documents, yap yap yap shoved down your yap yap yap throat. It won't matter how many times yap yap yap because people will still insist on yap yap yap.... "
OOOOOOKAY! Let's get started with the "WHAT IS ELAINE'S PROBLEM?" Quiz!
Statement #1:
"They will never listen unless your child screams at them millions of times and then these idiots will label your child a jerk."
A. People never listened to Elaine as a child because people just SUCK!
B. People never listened to Elaine as a child because they didn't understand what the hell she was yapping about.
C. People never listened to Elaine as a child because they were deafened by her screaming like a jerk all the time.
Statement #2
"Strangers never ask you which name you prefer to use."
A. Strangers never asked Elaine which name she prefers to use because strangers just SUCK!
B. Strangers never asked Elaine which name she prefers to use because they thought it wise to avoid eye-contact with her.
C. Strangers never asked Elaine which name she prefers to use because nobody gives a crap.
Statement #3
"The reason why I know so much about this is because I have been called by my middle name instead of my first name every single day of my life and it is a pain in the neck. I absolutely detest my first name."
A. Elaine absolutely detests her first name because her first name SUCKS!
B. Elaine absolutely detests her first name because of a traumatic childhood experience that Elaine will be more than willing to tell you about if she can corner you for another six hours.
C. Elaine absolutely detests her first name because... well... Ah, geeze, does anyone really give a crap?
Statement #4
"People have given me dirty looks when I have corrected them for calling me by the wrong name."
A. People have given Elaine dirty looks because people just SUCK!
B. People have given Elaine dirty looks because Elaine parks in handicapped parking spaces and it's obvious that Elaine 's handicap is an emotional, rather than a physical, one.
C. People have given Elaine dirty looks because Elaine has a habit of constantly "correcting" everyone around her.
Statement #5
"Prospective employers have always ruined my name and one jerk talked to me like he wanted to slap my face when I corrected him about the first name garbage."
A. A prospective employer talked to Elaine like he wanted to slap her face because prospective employers just SUCK!
B. A prospective employer talked to Elaine like he wanted to slap her face because he thought he saw a fly crawling on her eyelid.
C. A prospective employer talked to Elaine like he wanted to slap her face because she's just SO FREAKIN' ANNOYING.
Statement #6
"One college professor asked me if I was too stupid to know which name I preferred to use and he asked me this question in front of about thirty students."
A. The college professor asked Elaine if she was stupid because college professors just SUCK!
B. The college professor asked Elaine if she was stupid because Elaine wouldn't leave the classroom until she'd first finished "correcting" everyone in the room.
C. The college professor asked Elaine if she was stupid because Elaine naturally gives people that impression.
Statement #7
"Once my fifth grade classmates lied to the substitute teacher about which name I used but this wasn't just one or two obnoxious students who did this. The entire class did it..."
A. The entire class did it because fifth grade students just SUCK!
B. The entire class did it because they wanted to see if Elaine would try to "correct" the teacher.
C. The entire class did it because Elaine was just one of those kids in school that nobody likes.
Statement #8
"A shop teacher in high school called me by the wrong name for about six weeks and another teacher did it a whole year."
A. The teachers did that because teachers just SUCK!
B. The teachers did that because they were actively participating in a nation-wide conspiracy against Elaine .
C. The teachers did that because they didn't give a crap about Elaine 's name. Who the hell does?
Statement #9
"Several years ago, a sales clerk in a store asked me if the reason why my parents called me by my middle name was because of the possibility that my parents didn't want me."
A. The sales clerk asked Elaine that because sales clerks just SUCK!
B. The sales clerk asked Elaine that because all the other customers waiting impatiently at the checkout line for Elaine to SHUT THE CRAP UP just weren't as interesting as Elaine .
C. The sales clerk asked Elaine that because she knew Elaine 's parents and sympathized with them.
Statement #10
"You should also pay very close attention to your child's initials because they should not spell any bad words that will cause your child to be teased by a bully."
A. You should make sure your child's initials don't spell any bad words because if you don't then you just SUCK!
B. You should make sure your child's initials don't spell any bad words because if you don't, Elaine will jump into her little Name Police patrol car with the little bell she likes to ring, and peddle it furiously until she has apprehended you and "corrected" you.
C. You should make sure your child's initials don't spell any bad words because, at this point, you will be anxious to do almost anything that might get Elaine to shut the crap up.
-- Nanaea
2
Replies
On Mike-C, did yor *have* to delete Elaine's relpy to Nanaea? I feel I missed a lot of good laughs :(
1
I have an important question for you Nanaea. If it is completely unimportant to know which name a person uses on a daily basis and call them by that name, then will you mind it if I do something obnoxious to you? How would you like it if I pick three names at random that have never been my name, aren't my name and never will be my name? How would you like it if I lie through my teeth and say that these names are mine? Would you like it if I use the alias Susan Lynn Thompson to defraud you? If you don't like this, then why don't you have enough manners to listen to the name that customers use when they introduce themselves to you in a place of business or a government agency? Why do you think that it is "friendly" to call total strangers by names that they never use with anyone they personally know on a daily basis? If their relatives and friends aren't allowed to do this, then why on earth should total strangers have this "right?" How many of your "friends" don't know which name you use on a daily basis? What kind of a "friend" would be this stupid? How many of your "friends" call you by names that you never use at all? Would you even allow this to happen? How would you like it if you have been called by your first name every single day of your life and I insisted on throwing that name away? Would you like the fact that I keep on doing this after being told to stop it? How would you like it if I insisted on shoving the middle name (or nicknames for it) that you hate down your throat and forcing you to answer to it? How would you like it if I completely butcher and mutilate your last name by constantly mispronouncing and/or misspelling it even after you have told me to stop doing this? How many times would you tell me to stop doing this if I didn't do what you asked me to do? How would you like it if I constantly punished you for my constant, stupid, obnoxious screw-ups? Would you think of me as a nice person that you want to have as a friend? Would you avoid being near me because I'm obnoxious?
0
Oh, Elaine, Elaine, you never learn...
As a courtesy to Mike C., and because we all have far more interesting things to discuss on this message board rather than Elaine the Persecuted, I'm not going to take you out the way I would the typical, obnoxious, clueless, self-absorbed, obsessive crazyass who's got her head jammed so far up her heinie that she doesn't even realize that EVERYONE on this message board is LAUGHING at her. Well... maybe I won't. It all depends on how insistent you are in continuing in your stupidity.
GET A CLUE, ELAINE. Nobody gives a *crap* about your name! Your name isn't the freakin' issue here. It's your ATTITUDE, baby. It's the way you address people you don't even know by insulting them and calling them "crackheads". Quite frankly, your attitude sucks. No wonder you've always had such a tough time in life. It ain't gonna get better, baby -- not unless you undergo a little attitude adjustment.
Mike C. very wisely last night deleted your response to me suggesting that my mother should have had an abortion, and that I need to be shot in the head. Not cool, Elaine. Especially since you don't know anything about me, what kind of person I am, or what I am capable of doing. However, you are welcome to ask anyone on this board about me, and maybe they might clue you in. ;)
-- Nanaea
As a courtesy to Mike C., and because we all have far more interesting things to discuss on this message board rather than Elaine the Persecuted, I'm not going to take you out the way I would the typical, obnoxious, clueless, self-absorbed, obsessive crazyass who's got her head jammed so far up her heinie that she doesn't even realize that EVERYONE on this message board is LAUGHING at her. Well... maybe I won't. It all depends on how insistent you are in continuing in your stupidity.
GET A CLUE, ELAINE. Nobody gives a *crap* about your name! Your name isn't the freakin' issue here. It's your ATTITUDE, baby. It's the way you address people you don't even know by insulting them and calling them "crackheads". Quite frankly, your attitude sucks. No wonder you've always had such a tough time in life. It ain't gonna get better, baby -- not unless you undergo a little attitude adjustment.
Mike C. very wisely last night deleted your response to me suggesting that my mother should have had an abortion, and that I need to be shot in the head. Not cool, Elaine. Especially since you don't know anything about me, what kind of person I am, or what I am capable of doing. However, you are welcome to ask anyone on this board about me, and maybe they might clue you in. ;)
-- Nanaea
2
Here is a suggestion for you. If you don't want to be called stupid, crackhead, poster child for abortion, etc., then you should stop acting like everything I just mentioned. Quit giving your children stupid fake "names" like six which is actually a number. Think about how the children who are stuck with that garbage are going to feel when they go out into the real world and get bullied because of what their stupid parents did to them. Then I won't be tempted to call you all of these names that you don't like. You should be severely rebuked if you are abusive to a helpless child in this way. The Department Of Family And Children Services should take the child away from you and put him or her in a foster home and give the child a normal name. Any so-called "parent" that would give their child an insane, stupid "name" like six should also be charged with child abuse and be put in a mental hospital.
-1
Elaine
I have a few things to say about your attitude (or is it attitudinal inherency?).
1. Try to remember the children taken from parents for "false memories", false allegations of "SRA", and other things like that.
2. Children will be teased for anything that is different. One girl killed herself just before school because she wanted to learn something about Wicca. We won't even discuss Columbine High School.
3. A woman had her children taken from her (albeit temporarily) just because she asked a question about breast feeding and a natural sensation that goes along with the feeding.
I wish you would access http://www.holysmoke.org, but I fear you would try to get me sent away to an institution.
Phyllis
PS Fook you, too.
I have a few things to say about your attitude (or is it attitudinal inherency?).
1. Try to remember the children taken from parents for "false memories", false allegations of "SRA", and other things like that.
2. Children will be teased for anything that is different. One girl killed herself just before school because she wanted to learn something about Wicca. We won't even discuss Columbine High School.
3. A woman had her children taken from her (albeit temporarily) just because she asked a question about breast feeding and a natural sensation that goes along with the feeding.
I wish you would access http://www.holysmoke.org, but I fear you would try to get me sent away to an institution.
Phyllis
PS Fook you, too.
1
"...response to me suggesting that my mother should have had an abortion, and that I need to be shot in the head..."
THe Anagram Oracle never fails:
Elaine the sociopath=She a pathetic loonie
THe Anagram Oracle never fails:
Elaine the sociopath=She a pathetic loonie
2
Hint for Elaine: Listen to "Sympathy for the Devil" a couple of times before addressisng Nanaea again , hehe
2
If You'll Forgive My Dealing In Superlatives...
this quiz is the FUNNIEST damn thing I've ever seen on the Net!!
NAN ROOLZ!! : ))))))
this quiz is the FUNNIEST damn thing I've ever seen on the Net!!
NAN ROOLZ!! : ))))))
1
ROTFLMAO!
: D
: D
1