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ArchivesLet's take the "WHAT IS ELAINE'S PROBLEM?" Quiz!
in reply to a message by Jessa
Because Elaine has made it QUITE CLEAR that it is VERY, VERY IMPORTANT that we all know and understand her, I invite everyone here to take the "WHAT IS ELAINE'S PROBLEM?" Quiz!
The statements below are all Elaine 's own words -- simply choose from the multiple choices under each statement to see how well you know Elaine ! (And also how well you know people just like her).
Here is Elaine 's personal introduction to the "WHAT IS ELAINE'S PROBLEM?" Quiz! :
"Were you on alcohol, crack cocaine or some other drug when you decided to do this? Yap yap yap. It is ridiculous to yap yap yap. Why can't you give the child two yap yap yap normal yap yap yap names? By the way, yap yap yap to the yap yap yap your child any yap yap yap either. Everytime yap yap yap fill out legal documents, yap yap yap shoved down your yap yap yap throat. It won't matter how many times yap yap yap because people will still insist on yap yap yap.... "
OOOOOOKAY! Let's get started with the "WHAT IS ELAINE'S PROBLEM?" Quiz!
Statement #1:
"They will never listen unless your child screams at them millions of times and then these idiots will label your child a jerk."
A. People never listened to Elaine as a child because people just SUCK!
B. People never listened to Elaine as a child because they didn't understand what the hell she was yapping about.
C. People never listened to Elaine as a child because they were deafened by her screaming like a jerk all the time.
Statement #2
"Strangers never ask you which name you prefer to use."
A. Strangers never asked Elaine which name she prefers to use because strangers just SUCK!
B. Strangers never asked Elaine which name she prefers to use because they thought it wise to avoid eye-contact with her.
C. Strangers never asked Elaine which name she prefers to use because nobody gives a crap.
Statement #3
"The reason why I know so much about this is because I have been called by my middle name instead of my first name every single day of my life and it is a pain in the neck. I absolutely detest my first name."
A. Elaine absolutely detests her first name because her first name SUCKS!
B. Elaine absolutely detests her first name because of a traumatic childhood experience that Elaine will be more than willing to tell you about if she can corner you for another six hours.
C. Elaine absolutely detests her first name because... well... Ah, geeze, does anyone really give a crap?
Statement #4
"People have given me dirty looks when I have corrected them for calling me by the wrong name."
A. People have given Elaine dirty looks because people just SUCK!
B. People have given Elaine dirty looks because Elaine parks in handicapped parking spaces and it's obvious that Elaine 's handicap is an emotional, rather than a physical, one.
C. People have given Elaine dirty looks because Elaine has a habit of constantly "correcting" everyone around her.
Statement #5
"Prospective employers have always ruined my name and one jerk talked to me like he wanted to slap my face when I corrected him about the first name garbage."
A. A prospective employer talked to Elaine like he wanted to slap her face because prospective employers just SUCK!
B. A prospective employer talked to Elaine like he wanted to slap her face because he thought he saw a fly crawling on her eyelid.
C. A prospective employer talked to Elaine like he wanted to slap her face because she's just SO FREAKIN' ANNOYING.
Statement #6
"One college professor asked me if I was too stupid to know which name I preferred to use and he asked me this question in front of about thirty students."
A. The college professor asked Elaine if she was stupid because college professors just SUCK!
B. The college professor asked Elaine if she was stupid because Elaine wouldn't leave the classroom until she'd first finished "correcting" everyone in the room.
C. The college professor asked Elaine if she was stupid because Elaine naturally gives people that impression.
Statement #7
"Once my fifth grade classmates lied to the substitute teacher about which name I used but this wasn't just one or two obnoxious students who did this. The entire class did it..."
A. The entire class did it because fifth grade students just SUCK!
B. The entire class did it because they wanted to see if Elaine would try to "correct" the teacher.
C. The entire class did it because Elaine was just one of those kids in school that nobody likes.
Statement #8
"A shop teacher in high school called me by the wrong name for about six weeks and another teacher did it a whole year."
A. The teachers did that because teachers just SUCK!
B. The teachers did that because they were actively participating in a nation-wide conspiracy against Elaine .
C. The teachers did that because they didn't give a crap about Elaine 's name. Who the hell does?
Statement #9
"Several years ago, a sales clerk in a store asked me if the reason why my parents called me by my middle name was because of the possibility that my parents didn't want me."
A. The sales clerk asked Elaine that because sales clerks just SUCK!
B. The sales clerk asked Elaine that because all the other customers waiting impatiently at the checkout line for Elaine to SHUT THE CRAP UP just weren't as interesting as Elaine .
C. The sales clerk asked Elaine that because she knew Elaine 's parents and sympathized with them.
Statement #10
"You should also pay very close attention to your child's initials because they should not spell any bad words that will cause your child to be teased by a bully."
A. You should make sure your child's initials don't spell any bad words because if you don't then you just SUCK!
B. You should make sure your child's initials don't spell any bad words because if you don't, Elaine will jump into her little Name Police patrol car with the little bell she likes to ring, and peddle it furiously until she has apprehended you and "corrected" you.
C. You should make sure your child's initials don't spell any bad words because, at this point, you will be anxious to do almost anything that might get Elaine to shut the crap up.
-- Nanaea
The statements below are all Elaine 's own words -- simply choose from the multiple choices under each statement to see how well you know Elaine ! (And also how well you know people just like her).
Here is Elaine 's personal introduction to the "WHAT IS ELAINE'S PROBLEM?" Quiz! :
"Were you on alcohol, crack cocaine or some other drug when you decided to do this? Yap yap yap. It is ridiculous to yap yap yap. Why can't you give the child two yap yap yap normal yap yap yap names? By the way, yap yap yap to the yap yap yap your child any yap yap yap either. Everytime yap yap yap fill out legal documents, yap yap yap shoved down your yap yap yap throat. It won't matter how many times yap yap yap because people will still insist on yap yap yap.... "
OOOOOOKAY! Let's get started with the "WHAT IS ELAINE'S PROBLEM?" Quiz!
Statement #1:
"They will never listen unless your child screams at them millions of times and then these idiots will label your child a jerk."
A. People never listened to Elaine as a child because people just SUCK!
B. People never listened to Elaine as a child because they didn't understand what the hell she was yapping about.
C. People never listened to Elaine as a child because they were deafened by her screaming like a jerk all the time.
Statement #2
"Strangers never ask you which name you prefer to use."
A. Strangers never asked Elaine which name she prefers to use because strangers just SUCK!
B. Strangers never asked Elaine which name she prefers to use because they thought it wise to avoid eye-contact with her.
C. Strangers never asked Elaine which name she prefers to use because nobody gives a crap.
Statement #3
"The reason why I know so much about this is because I have been called by my middle name instead of my first name every single day of my life and it is a pain in the neck. I absolutely detest my first name."
A. Elaine absolutely detests her first name because her first name SUCKS!
B. Elaine absolutely detests her first name because of a traumatic childhood experience that Elaine will be more than willing to tell you about if she can corner you for another six hours.
C. Elaine absolutely detests her first name because... well... Ah, geeze, does anyone really give a crap?
Statement #4
"People have given me dirty looks when I have corrected them for calling me by the wrong name."
A. People have given Elaine dirty looks because people just SUCK!
B. People have given Elaine dirty looks because Elaine parks in handicapped parking spaces and it's obvious that Elaine 's handicap is an emotional, rather than a physical, one.
C. People have given Elaine dirty looks because Elaine has a habit of constantly "correcting" everyone around her.
Statement #5
"Prospective employers have always ruined my name and one jerk talked to me like he wanted to slap my face when I corrected him about the first name garbage."
A. A prospective employer talked to Elaine like he wanted to slap her face because prospective employers just SUCK!
B. A prospective employer talked to Elaine like he wanted to slap her face because he thought he saw a fly crawling on her eyelid.
C. A prospective employer talked to Elaine like he wanted to slap her face because she's just SO FREAKIN' ANNOYING.
Statement #6
"One college professor asked me if I was too stupid to know which name I preferred to use and he asked me this question in front of about thirty students."
A. The college professor asked Elaine if she was stupid because college professors just SUCK!
B. The college professor asked Elaine if she was stupid because Elaine wouldn't leave the classroom until she'd first finished "correcting" everyone in the room.
C. The college professor asked Elaine if she was stupid because Elaine naturally gives people that impression.
Statement #7
"Once my fifth grade classmates lied to the substitute teacher about which name I used but this wasn't just one or two obnoxious students who did this. The entire class did it..."
A. The entire class did it because fifth grade students just SUCK!
B. The entire class did it because they wanted to see if Elaine would try to "correct" the teacher.
C. The entire class did it because Elaine was just one of those kids in school that nobody likes.
Statement #8
"A shop teacher in high school called me by the wrong name for about six weeks and another teacher did it a whole year."
A. The teachers did that because teachers just SUCK!
B. The teachers did that because they were actively participating in a nation-wide conspiracy against Elaine .
C. The teachers did that because they didn't give a crap about Elaine 's name. Who the hell does?
Statement #9
"Several years ago, a sales clerk in a store asked me if the reason why my parents called me by my middle name was because of the possibility that my parents didn't want me."
A. The sales clerk asked Elaine that because sales clerks just SUCK!
B. The sales clerk asked Elaine that because all the other customers waiting impatiently at the checkout line for Elaine to SHUT THE CRAP UP just weren't as interesting as Elaine .
C. The sales clerk asked Elaine that because she knew Elaine 's parents and sympathized with them.
Statement #10
"You should also pay very close attention to your child's initials because they should not spell any bad words that will cause your child to be teased by a bully."
A. You should make sure your child's initials don't spell any bad words because if you don't then you just SUCK!
B. You should make sure your child's initials don't spell any bad words because if you don't, Elaine will jump into her little Name Police patrol car with the little bell she likes to ring, and peddle it furiously until she has apprehended you and "corrected" you.
C. You should make sure your child's initials don't spell any bad words because, at this point, you will be anxious to do almost anything that might get Elaine to shut the crap up.
-- Nanaea
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