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HelpHow easy is it to start using a new nickname?
I'm looking for advice from people who have changed their names or adopted a new nickname. Basically, I've never really felt like my name, Danielle. My family calls me Dani and it's fine for them to call me that, but I don't want to adopt it in all situations because it's a special family-only nickname to me.
Recently I have been thinking of Elle and I think I'd really like to go by that. I know nicknames usually evolve naturally, but how difficult would it be to adopt Elle for myself? What if I started introducing myself as Elle to new acquaintances? It would be easier if I were moving to a new area or something, I feel, but that's not on the cards right now. If I start using it with new people, I'm going to have a weird mix of people calling me Danielle, Dani, and Elle.
Thoughts or advice?
Recently I have been thinking of Elle and I think I'd really like to go by that. I know nicknames usually evolve naturally, but how difficult would it be to adopt Elle for myself? What if I started introducing myself as Elle to new acquaintances? It would be easier if I were moving to a new area or something, I feel, but that's not on the cards right now. If I start using it with new people, I'm going to have a weird mix of people calling me Danielle, Dani, and Elle.
Thoughts or advice?
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Thanks for the advice, everyone! Much appreciated.
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I legally changed my name as an adult. My new name is a variation of my former mn so yes, it was a complete departure for most people. I discovered that the people who loved me and supported me before the name change continued to love and support me and the people who made snarky remarks are people I wasn't really close to anyway. Frankly, I was so happy that I didn't care about the few snarky remarks. It was quite liberating. ;-) Anyway, it can be done. It does take time and patience and you can tell who is trying and who is not. One of my dds was called Katie until she changed it to Kate on her 14th birthday. She was simply tired of all of the Katies at school and there was only one other Kate. Some in my husband's family acted like it was some horrible obstacle to overcome and made a big deal of it. Give me a break! It's no different from Billy or Johnny or Tommy or Danny suddenly wanting to be called the more mature Bill, John, Tom or Dan and people do that sort of thing all the time.
Bottom line: If you're surrounded by loving and supportive people, this can be accomplished. Within three to five years, you'll be known as Elle in your day-to-day life. And btw, to go from Danielle to Elle isn't that much of a stretch to me. I think most people will get it. You'll likely have the most difficulty with your family who are used to calling you Dani because that's their special pet name for you. There are a few in my family who still call me Juju and I've just let that go for the most part because I do understand it's a term of endearment.
ETA: I live an hour away from my family and as far as I know, those who refer to me as Juju when I'm not there are careful to call me Elena to my face so there's that level of respect that I do appreciate. I've been very fortunate in this regard as has been my dd who has attended the same school with the same students and has experienced no problem going from Katie to Kate.
Bottom line: If you're surrounded by loving and supportive people, this can be accomplished. Within three to five years, you'll be known as Elle in your day-to-day life. And btw, to go from Danielle to Elle isn't that much of a stretch to me. I think most people will get it. You'll likely have the most difficulty with your family who are used to calling you Dani because that's their special pet name for you. There are a few in my family who still call me Juju and I've just let that go for the most part because I do understand it's a term of endearment.
ETA: I live an hour away from my family and as far as I know, those who refer to me as Juju when I'm not there are careful to call me Elena to my face so there's that level of respect that I do appreciate. I've been very fortunate in this regard as has been my dd who has attended the same school with the same students and has experienced no problem going from Katie to Kate.
This message was edited 3/30/2012, 5:45 PM
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Depends... Introducing yourself to new people that way could help it... It is easiest to do when you move to a new location. That's what I did... switched to going by my mn for latter 2 yrs. of uni and then after moving to Jpn, started going by both as a double name among other foreigners (many Jpns. have a hard time w/ my mn because of prn)... for various reasons.
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At first it will be a mix, but eventually it will change. If you really want to, it will and can change. Probably only your immediate family will stick to old ways.. they always do!!
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When my daughter was 6 months old, I completely changed her first name from something completely made up to Violet. People gave me a hard time, but now she's 6 and it's as if it never happened.
I have tried to change my name (Kayla) twice and it failed miserably. People thought I was silly and would use it as a conversational piece whenever they could. Most importantly, I just didn't like the new name either. I am now embracing the history behind it (my history).
I have tried to change my name (Kayla) twice and it failed miserably. People thought I was silly and would use it as a conversational piece whenever they could. Most importantly, I just didn't like the new name either. I am now embracing the history behind it (my history).
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Disclaimer, haven't changed my name or pulled a new nickname.
When I was 12, I got called Emmy at my new school by a lot of other kids and teachers. Previously I'd been Emily or Em at home. When I got to high school, it just dropped on its own because I introduced myself as Emily, but I kind of wish I'd kept it up. I really like Emmy!
It's weird though, my GP calls me Emmy and is the only person who still does. I don't know how that started.
I agree though that changing your own nickname is only plausible by a change of situation, like a new uni or town or maybe job.
When I was 12, I got called Emmy at my new school by a lot of other kids and teachers. Previously I'd been Emily or Em at home. When I got to high school, it just dropped on its own because I introduced myself as Emily, but I kind of wish I'd kept it up. I really like Emmy!
It's weird though, my GP calls me Emmy and is the only person who still does. I don't know how that started.
I agree though that changing your own nickname is only plausible by a change of situation, like a new uni or town or maybe job.
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I agree with what Lily said--it's easier for people to adopt a nickname taken from the first part of their name than from the last part of their name. However, my cousin's name is Gabrielle, and she goes by Elle most of the time. BUT, her mother insisted that everyone call her Elle since she was very young, maybe even since her birth, so it may be a bit harder for you to begin going by Elle at this point in your life. I wouldn't say it's impossible, though. You just have to accept that not everyone will call you that, especially people who have known you for a long time as Danielle.
My name is Devan, and some family and friends call me Dev. I've been wanting the usage of the nickname to grow, though, so I make a point of introducing myself to new people as Dev, or going by Dev on social networking websites, so that old friends will see I'm going by a shorter name.
My name is Devan, and some family and friends call me Dev. I've been wanting the usage of the nickname to grow, though, so I make a point of introducing myself to new people as Dev, or going by Dev on social networking websites, so that old friends will see I'm going by a shorter name.
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I've never tried to change a nickname, in fact, I've never had a nickname, but I've been related to two people who tried, one unsuccessfully and one more or less successfully, so I'll tell you their experiences.
My sister Patricia, who had always been called Patty, tried to change her nickname to Trish when she was in the fourth grade. She got her fourth grade teacher to call her Trish but nobody else would. Certainly nobody in her family. It didn't stick. By the fourth grade, she was Patty again to everybody.
My husband changed his nickname from Jamie to Jim when he entered high school. More or less, it worked. I say more or less because: He was entering a new, much larger school, where he would be meeting many new people, and these new people had no trouble calling him Jim. Thereafter, he introduced himself to Jim to every new person he met in his life and they all called him Jim. Except myself. He introduced himself to me as Jim, but I hate the nickname, and called him nothing until we'd known each other a few months, at which point, upon hearing his family call him Jamie, I began to call him Jamie, which he liked, coming from me.
Which brings me to my next point. Jim was not accepted by his parents, his brother, or his sister, nor was it accepted by the close group of friends he'd had since childhood, who continued to call him Jamie.
So basically I think it can be done when one is entering a new phase of life and meeting a lot of new people---going to college, starting a new job, moving a fair distance, but otherwise, it's difficult. I just couldn't start calling my sister, whom I'd always known as Patty, Trish.
My husband did have a weird mix of people calling him different names---Jamie by myself and his family, Jim by my family and everyone else, and while he was in college his college friends called him JR---his first and last initials--but it never seemed to bother him.
My sister Patricia, who had always been called Patty, tried to change her nickname to Trish when she was in the fourth grade. She got her fourth grade teacher to call her Trish but nobody else would. Certainly nobody in her family. It didn't stick. By the fourth grade, she was Patty again to everybody.
My husband changed his nickname from Jamie to Jim when he entered high school. More or less, it worked. I say more or less because: He was entering a new, much larger school, where he would be meeting many new people, and these new people had no trouble calling him Jim. Thereafter, he introduced himself to Jim to every new person he met in his life and they all called him Jim. Except myself. He introduced himself to me as Jim, but I hate the nickname, and called him nothing until we'd known each other a few months, at which point, upon hearing his family call him Jamie, I began to call him Jamie, which he liked, coming from me.
Which brings me to my next point. Jim was not accepted by his parents, his brother, or his sister, nor was it accepted by the close group of friends he'd had since childhood, who continued to call him Jamie.
So basically I think it can be done when one is entering a new phase of life and meeting a lot of new people---going to college, starting a new job, moving a fair distance, but otherwise, it's difficult. I just couldn't start calling my sister, whom I'd always known as Patty, Trish.
My husband did have a weird mix of people calling him different names---Jamie by myself and his family, Jim by my family and everyone else, and while he was in college his college friends called him JR---his first and last initials--but it never seemed to bother him.
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It's not impossible, but it can be kinda odd at first, and it definitely takes effort. It's basically helping everyone who knows you learn a new habit, and it's teaching yourself a new habit too, for when you introduce yourself as the name. It can feel really weird in the beginning. I remember when I decided to go by my full name instead of the childhood diminutive I had been called for years, I had to stop myself from giggling whenever I introduced myself as it, because I felt like I was just playing at being a grown-up and everyone could tell.
It will take patience on your behalf if you want your friends and family to change. You'll have to remind them and correct them if you really want to be called by the new nickname. And even then, they might not want to change.
I don't think being known by many names is a bad thing. Especially if they are all as closely related as Danielle, Dani and Elle. I know plenty of people who are known by multiple names. It's an affectionate thing.
It will take patience on your behalf if you want your friends and family to change. You'll have to remind them and correct them if you really want to be called by the new nickname. And even then, they might not want to change.
I don't think being known by many names is a bad thing. Especially if they are all as closely related as Danielle, Dani and Elle. I know plenty of people who are known by multiple names. It's an affectionate thing.
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This message was edited 3/29/2012, 10:30 PM
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I think it will be very difficult unless you move or change schools or something. I know people who started going by their middle names but they did so when they started high school/elementary school or moved. So they just introduced themselves by the new name and because most people and teachers called them that their old friends got used to it as well.
I think a small change is possible all of the time, for example I had a girl from Russia in my class named Ekaterina. She wanted to just be called Katarina because the extra syllable annoyed her so she asked people to call her that and it worked well. But that was when we graduated elementary school and even though we knew most people in junior high already there were a few new students which made things easier.
I also think it's harder to go by a nickname that derives from the last syllable of your name than by one that derives from the first syllable. I think people are a lot more willing to call a girl named Emily 'Em' or 'Emmie' than 'Lee'. I remember wanting to use the nickname Penny and considered Penelope and Aspen. People though Penelope nn Penny worked well but when I asked about Aspen they didn't even get where Penny came from even thought both names have the Pen part in it.
Dani and Elle do not sound very similar so I'm not sure whether it will work but I think you should try. Just tell your friends and family, always introduce yourself as Elle and see how it works.
I think it will be very difficult unless you move or change schools or something. I know people who started going by their middle names but they did so when they started high school/elementary school or moved. So they just introduced themselves by the new name and because most people and teachers called them that their old friends got used to it as well.
I think a small change is possible all of the time, for example I had a girl from Russia in my class named Ekaterina. She wanted to just be called Katarina because the extra syllable annoyed her so she asked people to call her that and it worked well. But that was when we graduated elementary school and even though we knew most people in junior high already there were a few new students which made things easier.
I also think it's harder to go by a nickname that derives from the last syllable of your name than by one that derives from the first syllable. I think people are a lot more willing to call a girl named Emily 'Em' or 'Emmie' than 'Lee'. I remember wanting to use the nickname Penny and considered Penelope and Aspen. People though Penelope nn Penny worked well but when I asked about Aspen they didn't even get where Penny came from even thought both names have the Pen part in it.
Dani and Elle do not sound very similar so I'm not sure whether it will work but I think you should try. Just tell your friends and family, always introduce yourself as Elle and see how it works.
This message was edited 3/29/2012, 7:32 PM
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