Daividh
Gaia Euphoria? I guess you've never encountered someone who has "drawn down the moon" either naturally or through "chemical means". If you can find Drawing Down The Moon by (something) Adler and The Sacred Dance by Starhawk, read them. You'll understand (I think). I'll try to find other books you might want to look at (including a couple from Z Budapest (I think that's her name)).
Phyllis Sidhe Uaine