BOYS
This is my son,
London.
You say: Hi
London! I love your name.
You think: And for once, I'm not lying.
This is my son
Indigo.
You say: You're not going to believe me, but I'm a writer and my main character has a son named
Indigo. I've never met anyone with that name in real life. You are totally cool to me now.
You think:
Indy!
Indy!
Indy!
This is my son
Amos.
You say: Hi
Amos.
You think: Eh...
This is my son,
Ocean.
You say: Cool name, dude.
You think: Good for him. Not my style, but if he can rock it, he rules.
This is my son Boston.
You say: Boston, hmm? Neat.
You think: I can think of a million other places I'd prefer, but whatever.
This is my son British.
You say: You're name is Bristish? Cool.
You think: Not at all. I. Am. So. Sorry.
This is my son,
Briar.
You say: Dude, your name rules.
You think: I like it!
This is my son
Edward.
You say: Hi
Edward.
You think: Ew. Twilight. British royalty. Old people.
This is my son
Rain.
You say: You have an awesome name.
You think: Wonder if he has a sibling named
River or something.
This is my son,
July.
You say: Your name rules my life. It is very nice to meet you.
You think: And I thought I was the only one who'd ever use that for a boy name.
This is my son
Genesis.
You say: Like the band?
You think: Or the Bible because either way, ew.
This is my son Italy.
You say: Hello, Italy.
You think: Do you have another son named Germany? Or Poland? Because, seriously, what?
GIRLS
This is my daughter,
Sawyer.
You say: Very nice to meet you,
Sawyer.
You think: Are you named after a Lost character that your mom thought was hot? Dear child, hopefully you'll forgive her someday.
This is my daughter, Zealand .
You say: Hello...
You think: Not digging that one.
This is my daughter,
Bryce.
You say: Hello
Bryce.
You think:
Bryce can be a cute name... on a boy.
This is my daughter, Irish.
You say: Irish? Is that your heritage?
You think: And wouldn't an Irish name have been better? Irish isn't name!
This is my daughter, Portugal.
You say: Hello there. Interesting name.
You think: Wonder if she's ever been there. And that's not even an attractive sounding country.
This is my daughter,
Patience.
You say:
Patience. How often do people sing Guns N Roses to you?
You think: The name's okay, but the song would get old.
This is my daughter,
Heaven.
You say: Cool. I used to know a girl named Heavenly.
You think: Hate both names too.
This is my daughter,
Orion.
You say:
Orion? Like the constellation?
You think: I used to know a by named that. Of course in kindergarten I thought it was O'Ryan, but still.
This is my daughter,
Briseis.
You say: I really like your name.
You think: But the original
Briseis was kind of slutty.
This is my daughter,
France.
You say: Why hello there,
France.
You think: Parlez-vous français?
This is my daughter,
Pandora.
You say: It's very nice to meet you!
You think: Are you named after the porn shop across the street? You should move to another town if so and hope
Pandora's Box isn't a franchise.
This is my daughter,
Spring.
You say: Hello,
Spring. Interesting name.
You think: Interesting, sure, but I wouldn't use it.