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HelpRe: that kind of begs the question ...
in reply to a message by RoxStar
But, names aren't like canned pears!
On a name opinions board, when I say, "I think Braelyn is ugly," I don't know if there are any Braelyns reading, or family members or parents of Braelyns. I'm prepared that at least some people out there will take me to mean that I judge the name Braelyn to be a bad name for a person because it's so ugly. Yes, that's pretty much what I think about it - so they'll have to cope with that. It's a name opinions board after all.
If I say Bridget is ugly, I may add that I think it's perfectly nice. For my own purposes - not to save people's feelings, but to be clear about what kind of statement I'm making. My personal impression doesn't always match up with my opinion about the quality of a name.
If I say I think a name is ugly, period, that obviously means it's not to my taste. But it's not like saying "canned pears are disgusting," because foods are not personal the way names are. They're not selected in a personal way, so they aren't connected to people who choose them. So I'm not communicating the exact same kind of thing when I say I think a food is disgusting, as I do when I say a name is ugly.
Saying a "I think [name] is ugly" on this board, is more like saying "I think canned pears are disgusting" just as the hostess is surprising everyone with a pear dessert, which might have been made with canned pears. You might want to distinguish between your personal disgust for canned pears, and your disgust for your hostess's baking and everyone who consumes it.
If you really think canned pears are so disgusting that they're generally unfit for consumption, you'd just let your comment stand, and not care - same as if it were a dessert made from garden slugs, and you'd just said slugs are disgusting. Because that's really your opinion. "Your kid's name is ugly, and your slug tart is disgusting. Both are very bad ideas."
If you wanted to be clear you weren't expressing disgust at your hostess's efforts, you might add "well canned pears may be fine for you all, but I personally find them disgusting to eat so, no thanks."
(I think the fact that Maile is a Hawaiian name might also be a reason for qualifying the opinion that it's ugly. I sometimes think a foreign name is unappealing, but I would not want to give anyone the impression that I thought it was unappealing just because it was foreign.)
- mirfak
On a name opinions board, when I say, "I think Braelyn is ugly," I don't know if there are any Braelyns reading, or family members or parents of Braelyns. I'm prepared that at least some people out there will take me to mean that I judge the name Braelyn to be a bad name for a person because it's so ugly. Yes, that's pretty much what I think about it - so they'll have to cope with that. It's a name opinions board after all.
If I say Bridget is ugly, I may add that I think it's perfectly nice. For my own purposes - not to save people's feelings, but to be clear about what kind of statement I'm making. My personal impression doesn't always match up with my opinion about the quality of a name.
If I say I think a name is ugly, period, that obviously means it's not to my taste. But it's not like saying "canned pears are disgusting," because foods are not personal the way names are. They're not selected in a personal way, so they aren't connected to people who choose them. So I'm not communicating the exact same kind of thing when I say I think a food is disgusting, as I do when I say a name is ugly.
Saying a "I think [name] is ugly" on this board, is more like saying "I think canned pears are disgusting" just as the hostess is surprising everyone with a pear dessert, which might have been made with canned pears. You might want to distinguish between your personal disgust for canned pears, and your disgust for your hostess's baking and everyone who consumes it.
If you really think canned pears are so disgusting that they're generally unfit for consumption, you'd just let your comment stand, and not care - same as if it were a dessert made from garden slugs, and you'd just said slugs are disgusting. Because that's really your opinion. "Your kid's name is ugly, and your slug tart is disgusting. Both are very bad ideas."
If you wanted to be clear you weren't expressing disgust at your hostess's efforts, you might add "well canned pears may be fine for you all, but I personally find them disgusting to eat so, no thanks."
(I think the fact that Maile is a Hawaiian name might also be a reason for qualifying the opinion that it's ugly. I sometimes think a foreign name is unappealing, but I would not want to give anyone the impression that I thought it was unappealing just because it was foreign.)
- mirfak
This message was edited 4/9/2018, 11:08 PM
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Replies
Agreed.
I offer opinions like the ones Rox is questioning often and for the same reasons that you do. I do not do it to avoid being offensive and I usually offer them more when someone else is really considering a name for a real child or it's a BA.
Sometimes I find a name that is aesthetically pleasing to me to be an objectively bad name. For example, I think the sound of Nevaeh is very pretty but it's a terrible name for a human. I love the name Bridget but while I don't find the sound ugly like mirfak does, it isn't a beautiful sounding name and I can understand why someone would find that sound 'ugly'. Or then there are names that I find very ugly, like Zoe, but I recognize that is subjective and if someone is asking for opinions on a name that may influence whether or not they use it in real life, they are probably looking for associations or any objective objections to the name...unless of course the name is considered 'ugly' by almost every commenter and then maybe that it is widely considered to be aesthetically unpleasing could be a point against it.
I offer opinions like the ones Rox is questioning often and for the same reasons that you do. I do not do it to avoid being offensive and I usually offer them more when someone else is really considering a name for a real child or it's a BA.
Sometimes I find a name that is aesthetically pleasing to me to be an objectively bad name. For example, I think the sound of Nevaeh is very pretty but it's a terrible name for a human. I love the name Bridget but while I don't find the sound ugly like mirfak does, it isn't a beautiful sounding name and I can understand why someone would find that sound 'ugly'. Or then there are names that I find very ugly, like Zoe, but I recognize that is subjective and if someone is asking for opinions on a name that may influence whether or not they use it in real life, they are probably looking for associations or any objective objections to the name...unless of course the name is considered 'ugly' by almost every commenter and then maybe that it is widely considered to be aesthetically unpleasing could be a point against it.
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