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HelpRe: Why Do You Love/Regret Your Name?
in reply to a message by DarkLily243
I was named after someone, my great-grandmother (my father's grandmother). I never knew her and she had passed away before I was born. So I never felt any pressure to live up to her or to be like her. It was just a nice way to connect me with my family roots in a way. My father's cousins always say make the comment when we see each other at family gatherings, that it's fun to have another ''name'' in the family.
Personally, I see it as a gesture made out of love. My siblings also have the middle names of our maternal grandparents and I know it meant a lot for my Mom, especially giving her dad's name to someone. He passed away when she was 18 and always said he would have been the best grandfather ever. We never knew him, but she has always spoke of him with such love and tenderness. I don't see the arm if it's made out of affection. I agree that overall, you got to like the sound of the name and I would chose a name of someone that was loved or was a good person. But with those criteria, I wouldn't be opposed to give my kids a family name. I would probably not give my own name to my kids, because I agree, it sounds a bit narcissistic. But I wouldn't mind honoring maybe my own grandfather or my partner's.
As for my own relationship with my name, I like it now. But it took me a while. My name is known but a bit rare, so people would often call me a more trendy similar name. It bugged me so much. Not to mention at one point, there was also a popular TV show airing, which was literally my name. Not just the name of the female protagonist, literally the name of the show. Not my parents' fault, the show came on the air when I was 11 or 12 years old, but yes, these were the prime year of teasing. Ughh. I often wished I had a more common name, until I became older. Now I like the uniqueness of my name and I cherish it.
Don't hesitate to rate my different PNLs: http://www.behindthename.com/pnl/246179
Personally, I see it as a gesture made out of love. My siblings also have the middle names of our maternal grandparents and I know it meant a lot for my Mom, especially giving her dad's name to someone. He passed away when she was 18 and always said he would have been the best grandfather ever. We never knew him, but she has always spoke of him with such love and tenderness. I don't see the arm if it's made out of affection. I agree that overall, you got to like the sound of the name and I would chose a name of someone that was loved or was a good person. But with those criteria, I wouldn't be opposed to give my kids a family name. I would probably not give my own name to my kids, because I agree, it sounds a bit narcissistic. But I wouldn't mind honoring maybe my own grandfather or my partner's.
As for my own relationship with my name, I like it now. But it took me a while. My name is known but a bit rare, so people would often call me a more trendy similar name. It bugged me so much. Not to mention at one point, there was also a popular TV show airing, which was literally my name. Not just the name of the female protagonist, literally the name of the show. Not my parents' fault, the show came on the air when I was 11 or 12 years old, but yes, these were the prime year of teasing. Ughh. I often wished I had a more common name, until I became older. Now I like the uniqueness of my name and I cherish it.
Don't hesitate to rate my different PNLs: http://www.behindthename.com/pnl/246179
Replies
Thank you for sharing your experience. In my culture it's convention to name the first girl after the mother's mother, the first boy after the father's father, then father's mother for a girl, mother's father for a boy etc.
I used to like this tradition, because researching genealogy is a hobby of mine, and it makes it easier to track ancestry, but my family relationships are complicated and I don't want to burden a child with bagge from an already strained dynamic. My daughter has the same initials as my brother, but a distinct, feminine name of her own. My son has my great-grandfather's surname (grandmother's father) as his first name and we all share my grandfather's surname (mother's father). My name regret is a recent development, but I'm glad it happened before my children were born. My original name options were styled after my mother and grandmother because of tradition, not because I actually wanted to pass on their names. This experience made me stop and think about the "story" I'm actually giving to my children. I do agree that passing on a family name can be an act of love, like in your grandfather's case. I only realised it today, but both my kids' names come from good people who didn't get to live their whole lives. Both are people whose stories I want to pass on, while letting my children know that they're the ones writing their own chapters.
I do sympathise with having a TV show with the same name as you, especially if it's popular. TV shows come and go but I can see how that would be hard on a school age child D: My own first name was too common to inspire a TV show, and I'm hoping my kids' are too uniquely South African, but having a show, or worse, a BRAND, pop up with the same name as your child is definitely a 21st century naming fear :')
I used to like this tradition, because researching genealogy is a hobby of mine, and it makes it easier to track ancestry, but my family relationships are complicated and I don't want to burden a child with bagge from an already strained dynamic. My daughter has the same initials as my brother, but a distinct, feminine name of her own. My son has my great-grandfather's surname (grandmother's father) as his first name and we all share my grandfather's surname (mother's father). My name regret is a recent development, but I'm glad it happened before my children were born. My original name options were styled after my mother and grandmother because of tradition, not because I actually wanted to pass on their names. This experience made me stop and think about the "story" I'm actually giving to my children. I do agree that passing on a family name can be an act of love, like in your grandfather's case. I only realised it today, but both my kids' names come from good people who didn't get to live their whole lives. Both are people whose stories I want to pass on, while letting my children know that they're the ones writing their own chapters.
I do sympathise with having a TV show with the same name as you, especially if it's popular. TV shows come and go but I can see how that would be hard on a school age child D: My own first name was too common to inspire a TV show, and I'm hoping my kids' are too uniquely South African, but having a show, or worse, a BRAND, pop up with the same name as your child is definitely a 21st century naming fear :')