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HelpHot Take: Nicknames Are Overrated
I don't think parents should choose names based on the "nickname potential", because the kid may not want a nickname. As someone who was named that way, I have despised it my entire life because I just want to be called my given name. Given names are often gorgeous and elegant, but they're underappreciated because people are "lazy". I have literally had people refuse to use my given name because "it's too long", to which I just want to say get over it. It's MY name, not yours - I do not need to choose my identifier based on your pleasure and ease.
To be clear, I adore my given name. I just wish people would actually use it. I repeatedly get called nicknames all the time even when I'm very clear I don't like it. In my opinion, you should always call someone by their given name unless they have clearly stated they prefer another name. Also, if you're only naming someone something to call them the nickname... I think you should just name them the nickname. After all, there's a reason names like Abby, Lexi, Maggie, and Liv are in the top 1000.
Here's a list of names I think are underappreciated in their given state:
Alexandra
Amelia
Angelina
Charlotte
Christopher
Elizabeth
Isabella
Jonathan
Josephine
Matilda
Nicholas
Olivia
Samantha
William
These names are beautiful in full and don't "need" nicknames.
To be clear, I adore my given name. I just wish people would actually use it. I repeatedly get called nicknames all the time even when I'm very clear I don't like it. In my opinion, you should always call someone by their given name unless they have clearly stated they prefer another name. Also, if you're only naming someone something to call them the nickname... I think you should just name them the nickname. After all, there's a reason names like Abby, Lexi, Maggie, and Liv are in the top 1000.
Here's a list of names I think are underappreciated in their given state:
Alexandra
Amelia
Angelina
Charlotte
Christopher
Elizabeth
Isabella
Jonathan
Josephine
Matilda
Nicholas
Olivia
Samantha
William
These names are beautiful in full and don't "need" nicknames.
Replies
Yeah, I come from a nickname-name family and I don't like it. I always wished more of my ancestors had full, lovely names. Even the ones that did have full lovely names were saddled with nicknames! I was always a Romantic and sentimental type, which clashed with my family's "get over yourself" salt of the earth style. But I definitely don't think it was laziness that induced them to ditch the long form. The main nicknamer, the grand old matriarch, was possibly the least lazy person I've ever known! Maybe it was a control thing.... She'd be introduced to a newborn member of the family and decide what they would be called, regardless of what was on the birth certificate.
I've known people with some of the names you listed who used the full version. It was never an issue, I don't remember anyone ever complaining about the length or formality of a name.... It would be so rude to force a nickname on someone. I feel like that sort of thing is pretty juvenile.
One of my friends named her kids very deliberately short names because she wanted to avoid nicknames. I always felt kind of bad about that for her. It seemed limiting.
I've known people with some of the names you listed who used the full version. It was never an issue, I don't remember anyone ever complaining about the length or formality of a name.... It would be so rude to force a nickname on someone. I feel like that sort of thing is pretty juvenile.
One of my friends named her kids very deliberately short names because she wanted to avoid nicknames. I always felt kind of bad about that for her. It seemed limiting.
Funny thing: My name is William, but people (who know me well) know me as "Will". It's not that I don't like William, because I'm perfectly comfortable with it; I like being called Will, just as I'm called William. I think that nicknames are up to the bearer; of course, names don't require a nickname! I actually prefer full names to their nicknames...though, I love Sally, Jenny, Gracie, Nell, Allie, and Connie as standalone names (these are nicknames for Sarah, Jennifer, Grace, Eleanor, any Al- name, and Constance, respectively).
My grandma's name is Constance and she goes by Connie!
I prefer full names to nicknames. I would never shy away from using a lovely name for a child just because of a possible nickname. Just call your child by the full version but if your child chooses to go by the nickname at school and with friends just let it go. Growing up one of my friends was named Allison. Her mom called her Allison but at school we all called her Alli. On the other hand I knew an Elizabeth who didn’t like any of the nicknames and insisted people call her Elizabeth.
Yeah, I know an Elizabeth who insists on being called that too! I think it's lovely. :)
Both my husband and I come from cultures where nicknames are a big thing. Regardless, we've never chosen names for our children based on their nickname potential. And in general we prefer that people outside of our immediate family and closest friends use our children's full names. We have a Barnabas, and never introduce him by "Barney" for example. He's only 4, but he uses his full name to refer to himself. Maybe he'll prefer a nickname when he's older, maybe not, whatever he wants is fine.
That being said, especially my husband's family use nicknames for everyone, often several for one person. I don't mind cause that's just what they do, but I hope if one of our children tells them they prefer to go by their full name (when they're older), I hope they respect that.
I find it disrespectful to not use the name someone prefers to go by.
That being said, especially my husband's family use nicknames for everyone, often several for one person. I don't mind cause that's just what they do, but I hope if one of our children tells them they prefer to go by their full name (when they're older), I hope they respect that.
I find it disrespectful to not use the name someone prefers to go by.
This message was edited 1/5/2024, 7:36 AM
My family uses a lot of nicknames, too, especially my dad. That's just what he does.
This message was edited 1/5/2024, 8:30 AM
I suspect name enthusiasts are especially prone to go for nicknames because it gives you two names for the price of one. For us, the more names you can use, the better, right?
However, I too think that nicknames are overrated (however much I'd be tempted to use them on a kid). I've always appreciated having a name that isn't prone to being nicknamed. I don't ever have to decide which name to write down for myself, because my name is my name, period.
For my taste, I think possibly the worst name to nickname is Phillip. Phillip sounds so classic and dignified. Phil or Pip...not so much.
Edit: I do really appreciate some classic nicknames, though. I love Bess for Elizabeth, partly because of The Highwayman -
"...the landlord’s black-eyed daughter,
Bess, the landlord’s daughter,
Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair."
However, I too think that nicknames are overrated (however much I'd be tempted to use them on a kid). I've always appreciated having a name that isn't prone to being nicknamed. I don't ever have to decide which name to write down for myself, because my name is my name, period.
For my taste, I think possibly the worst name to nickname is Phillip. Phillip sounds so classic and dignified. Phil or Pip...not so much.
Edit: I do really appreciate some classic nicknames, though. I love Bess for Elizabeth, partly because of The Highwayman -
"...the landlord’s black-eyed daughter,
Bess, the landlord’s daughter,
Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair."
This message was edited 1/5/2024, 4:28 AM
My mother, Beatrice, had a friend who always called her Bess. Nobody ever asked why, and my mother didn't mind.
Bess is definitely an underrated nickname for Elizabeth!
I also prefer full names to nicks. My family tend to full names... Jeffrey and Stephen rather than the short forms, etc.
When I met a lady called Angharad, was delighted to comply with using full name, rather than her despised sibling go to of Aggie.
We're left with so little dignity these days of uber intrusion, why not wrap yourself in a proper name and insist on its use.
When I met a lady called Angharad, was delighted to comply with using full name, rather than her despised sibling go to of Aggie.
We're left with so little dignity these days of uber intrusion, why not wrap yourself in a proper name and insist on its use.
I prefer nicknames to full names. They're less formal, and I usually like them more.
Yes, nicknames are overrated, and the names you provided are absolutely wonderful in their given state. I hate being called Gwen -- it's just an excuse to be lazy and not learn how to say my full name.
Oooh, I didn't even think of that one! I won't lie, I love Gwen, and I would probably just name someone that. But Gwendolyn/Gwyneth are absolutely beautiful as well!