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HelpRe: Lucinda
in reply to a message by Billina
saying something is "too frilly" for a girl smacks of latent sexism and internalised misogyny.
Archived Thread - replies disabled
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Would that be because frills should automatically be attributed to the female gender?
For clarification, the original poster was simply asking if our opinion of that name was that it was too frilly in general, not whether it was too frilly for a girl.
Some of our tastes run to names that lack the ostentatious -a ending which commonly characterizes names as having "frill".
For example, Amelie would be less frilly than Amelia, which is less frilly than Aemiliana. Those extra vowels make all the difference in people's opinions.
For clarification, the original poster was simply asking if our opinion of that name was that it was too frilly in general, not whether it was too frilly for a girl.
Some of our tastes run to names that lack the ostentatious -a ending which commonly characterizes names as having "frill".
For example, Amelie would be less frilly than Amelia, which is less frilly than Aemiliana. Those extra vowels make all the difference in people's opinions.
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The idea that disliking "frilly" names (or anything) is sexist assumes that women are naturally inclined to be ultra-feminine, which is ten times more misogynistic than disliking the name Lucinda could ever be.
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Please use only one name to post on the boards.
http://www.behindthename.com/bb/baby/help#rules
The idea isn't that frilly = bad, it's just that polysyllabic feminine names ending in A are not to everyone's taste; they can seem too formal for our own personal name-comfort-zone and therefore, something like fancy or immodest. And if they aren't to our taste, we usually say around here that these names are too "frilly" for our taste. In the sense of overdressed (in feminine dress because it's a name for women), rather than in the sense of too feminine.
So she's not asking if you think the name is bad because it seems very feminine - she's asking, do you not like the name because it feels too frilly for your taste? I think that making the assumption that not liking such names means sexism, might indicate a rather narrow definition of femininity. Then again it might not - I might not understand exactly what you are trying to say. Feel free to explain further.
ETA Joiya suggests that you're worried about frills not being unisex? If that's so ...
Gender conventions are not equal to sexism. They're only conventions, they are necessary although arbitrary, and no value difference is necessarily implied - you project all of it. If I imply that frills are feminine, and you think that's unfair to either boys or girls, you're the one assuming a value difference between what's for boys and what's for girls. There's nothing inherently unfair about gender itself.
http://www.behindthename.com/bb/baby/help#rules
The idea isn't that frilly = bad, it's just that polysyllabic feminine names ending in A are not to everyone's taste; they can seem too formal for our own personal name-comfort-zone and therefore, something like fancy or immodest. And if they aren't to our taste, we usually say around here that these names are too "frilly" for our taste. In the sense of overdressed (in feminine dress because it's a name for women), rather than in the sense of too feminine.
So she's not asking if you think the name is bad because it seems very feminine - she's asking, do you not like the name because it feels too frilly for your taste? I think that making the assumption that not liking such names means sexism, might indicate a rather narrow definition of femininity. Then again it might not - I might not understand exactly what you are trying to say. Feel free to explain further.
ETA Joiya suggests that you're worried about frills not being unisex? If that's so ...
Gender conventions are not equal to sexism. They're only conventions, they are necessary although arbitrary, and no value difference is necessarily implied - you project all of it. If I imply that frills are feminine, and you think that's unfair to either boys or girls, you're the one assuming a value difference between what's for boys and what's for girls. There's nothing inherently unfair about gender itself.
This message was edited 4/27/2015, 4:25 PM
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Nice to meet you. :)
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