I have kept my ln, my daughter has mn ln as a mn and it is no problem at all.
The "whole family having the same ln" is really not such an old custom and it is not done all over the world.
I am still the same individual when I am married, so why should I change my name? To me, this seems like the 50's when it was the ultimate goal for a girl to get married. And then of course being Mrs Smith was so much better than being miss Brown. So
Mary Brown became Mrs
John Smith, proud to be an anonymous wife.
Nobody can force you to give up your ln, but then you can't expect someone giving up his either. Especially as American (English, Canadian, Australian, NZ?) men seem so unwilling even to let the wife keep her ln.
"But it’s all right now.
I learned my lesson well.
You see you can’t please everyone
So you got to please yourself."
Rick Nelson, GardenParty
"It does not become me to make myself smaller than I am." (
Edith Södergran 1891-1923)