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HelpWould you use a name you dislike (or don't love), just for use of the nickname?
Add to name that you partner likes the full version. As an example, if you loved Rose but your partner didn't, but they liked Rosalie and you didn't love it but like it ok it - would you consider choosing Rosalie just so you could use Rose as a nickname?
OR
You like a nickname but straight up DISLIKE the full versions of it - would you pick a full name anyway? And would it make a difference if your partner happened to like one of the fuller version
OR
You like a nickname but straight up DISLIKE the full versions of it - would you pick a full name anyway? And would it make a difference if your partner happened to like one of the fuller version
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Replies
I wouldn't use a name I disliked just for the nickname. I agree with Guru about nicknames, they should happen over time not decided and forced before the child is even born.
That said if I liked Rose and my partner liked Rosalie and we disliked all the other names of each other's lists I would probably compromise. If I hated my partner's choice I wouldn't use the name.
That said if I liked Rose and my partner liked Rosalie and we disliked all the other names of each other's lists I would probably compromise. If I hated my partner's choice I wouldn't use the name.
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Probably not
If I love a nickname, I try to find a longer name that I love equally.
If I love a longer name, but dislike all of the nicknames for it, I would suggest that my child not go by a nickname, or I would also consider flat-out not using the name if there was a high chance he/she would still go by a nickname.
If I love a nickname, I try to find a longer name that I love equally.
If I love a longer name, but dislike all of the nicknames for it, I would suggest that my child not go by a nickname, or I would also consider flat-out not using the name if there was a high chance he/she would still go by a nickname.
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If I was only going to use the nn form, I'd use it for a pet.
If I was going to use the full name too, I'd use it for a character in a story. I use full names too much to want to use a name I hated. Even though when I use a full name instead of the nn, it's to yell at someone or to let them know that whatever I'm going to talk to them about is serious.
If I was going to use the full name too, I'd use it for a character in a story. I use full names too much to want to use a name I hated. Even though when I use a full name instead of the nn, it's to yell at someone or to let them know that whatever I'm going to talk to them about is serious.
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Nicknames have NOTHING to do with the full names I choose. If a nickname occurs, it will happen organically, and will be given by loved-ones through time. It wouldn't be something I tried to force. Actually, the perpetual nickname discussion on here gets an emphatic thumbs down from me.
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Why the hate on discussion of nicknames?? If you're talking about nicknames based on things other than the name itself (i.e. calling a child Curly because of their hair) then yes, such names will happen organically. I just don't see how shortening Rosalie to Rosa is forced - it's right there at the beginning of the name and is likely to ALSO happen organically
The question posed was really more about compromising and how far you'd go to do so. The example I used is true to life in that I love Rose but my SO thinks it sounds too old. I think, however, that I could get him on board with Rosalie - in which case I could easily call her Rosa or Rose. I was just curious as to how others would approach the situation.
The question posed was really more about compromising and how far you'd go to do so. The example I used is true to life in that I love Rose but my SO thinks it sounds too old. I think, however, that I could get him on board with Rosalie - in which case I could easily call her Rosa or Rose. I was just curious as to how others would approach the situation.
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I was wondering if the example was based on real life.
If your SO dislikes Rose, though, would he be ok with you calling a Rosalie Rose? Or is his main issue with the legal name?
If your SO dislikes Rose, though, would he be ok with you calling a Rosalie Rose? Or is his main issue with the legal name?
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I think as long as HE didn't have to refer to her as Rose and introduce her exclusively as that, he'd be ok with me calling her that. And I imagine that he might actually warm to Rose as a NN once he has a younger, positive association for it.
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I like Rose. It's fine. But I love Rosamund.
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I just might
I might be odd in this, but for me not liking the nickname is a dealbreaker moreso than not liking a full name. Because you'd hear the nickname and use it several times a day, but the full name, only on official things.
If my partner would "allow" me to use a nickname I liked but they didn't so they could "get" the full name THEY liked but I didn't, I'd say that's a fair compromise. But I wouldn't budge on allowing my partner to pick a nickname I disliked. We'd have to come to some other agreement.
I might be odd in this, but for me not liking the nickname is a dealbreaker moreso than not liking a full name. Because you'd hear the nickname and use it several times a day, but the full name, only on official things.
If my partner would "allow" me to use a nickname I liked but they didn't so they could "get" the full name THEY liked but I didn't, I'd say that's a fair compromise. But I wouldn't budge on allowing my partner to pick a nickname I disliked. We'd have to come to some other agreement.
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I don't think so
If my DH loved the full name and I only loved the nn, then I think I could compromise, but I also think I could come to like the full name if I knew he did. But if it was a name I outright disliked, then I just couldn't do it.
If my DH loved the full name and I only loved the nn, then I think I could compromise, but I also think I could come to like the full name if I knew he did. But if it was a name I outright disliked, then I just couldn't do it.
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Nope
For one, I'm not much of a nickname person. Although I do consider nicknames when thinking about names, I wouldn't name a child one thing and then intend to call her something else all the time. I just couldn't. I use nicknames only occasionally and only within the family, so I'd still have to introduce her as Rosalie (to use your first example) and say Rosalie all the time. I think it would be very unsatisfying for me over the long term. I'd rather put both Rose and Rosalie aside and find a different name.
For your second scenario, absolutely not. No way. I'd never put a name I hate on the birth certificate under any circumstances. I'd either use the nickname as the full name, or, if I'm not comfortable with that, I'd look for different names. I couldn't take the risk of, say, naming my daughter Arabella--yuck!--with the intention of calling her Ara only to have her tell me 10 years later that she wants to be called Arabella. I'd have no choice but to listen to her, and I'd be miserable about it.
For one, I'm not much of a nickname person. Although I do consider nicknames when thinking about names, I wouldn't name a child one thing and then intend to call her something else all the time. I just couldn't. I use nicknames only occasionally and only within the family, so I'd still have to introduce her as Rosalie (to use your first example) and say Rosalie all the time. I think it would be very unsatisfying for me over the long term. I'd rather put both Rose and Rosalie aside and find a different name.
For your second scenario, absolutely not. No way. I'd never put a name I hate on the birth certificate under any circumstances. I'd either use the nickname as the full name, or, if I'm not comfortable with that, I'd look for different names. I couldn't take the risk of, say, naming my daughter Arabella--yuck!--with the intention of calling her Ara only to have her tell me 10 years later that she wants to be called Arabella. I'd have no choice but to listen to her, and I'd be miserable about it.
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Yes, I would.
An example:
I LOVE Leo, but feels that it would need a longer version and use Leo as a nn. Therefore, I would probably use Leopold or Leonidas and use Leo as the nickname.
I don't dislike Leopold or Leonidas though, but I don't love them either.
Wouldn't do it if I really disliked the full version.
An example:
I LOVE Leo, but feels that it would need a longer version and use Leo as a nn. Therefore, I would probably use Leopold or Leonidas and use Leo as the nickname.
I don't dislike Leopold or Leonidas though, but I don't love them either.
Wouldn't do it if I really disliked the full version.
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I thought about this a lot
because I love Penny and Ally but can't find any full names I like. I mean I do like Alexandria and Alison and some others but not nearly enough to put them on a birth certificate. The only full name I love that could work with the nn Penny is Aspen but it seems like such a stretch. Penelope has grown on me a little but I fear that I will never like it enough to use it.
Bottom line: No, I wouldn't. I think it's silly to put something on your child's birth certificate you dislike. Your child's name is the first thing you give to your child, your first gift to your child, it should be special and wonderful and just perfect to you.
I would use a different name altogether. I mean Aspen is my favorite right now and if I name my daughter this and decide that Penny seems to fit her and that it doesn't feel forced I'd call her Penny sometimes, but if it doesn't work I won't push it. I'm fine with Aspen, it's beautiful to me.
because I love Penny and Ally but can't find any full names I like. I mean I do like Alexandria and Alison and some others but not nearly enough to put them on a birth certificate. The only full name I love that could work with the nn Penny is Aspen but it seems like such a stretch. Penelope has grown on me a little but I fear that I will never like it enough to use it.
Bottom line: No, I wouldn't. I think it's silly to put something on your child's birth certificate you dislike. Your child's name is the first thing you give to your child, your first gift to your child, it should be special and wonderful and just perfect to you.
I would use a different name altogether. I mean Aspen is my favorite right now and if I name my daughter this and decide that Penny seems to fit her and that it doesn't feel forced I'd call her Penny sometimes, but if it doesn't work I won't push it. I'm fine with Aspen, it's beautiful to me.
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No, never
It's a pet peeve of mine when people give their child a full name they never intended to use just so they can have him/her go by a nickname they like. I don't see the point. I know some people say that it's better for a child to have a full name to fall back on but I don't buy it. There are never any guarantees that a child will like his name and I refuse to think that Tommy can't be as successful as Thomas.
I realise that in the examples you give, the full name version is a result of compromise so both can have their way but I still wouldn't do it, especially not with a name like Rose that's a perfectly fine name on its own. I would try to find another name we both liked.
It's a pet peeve of mine when people give their child a full name they never intended to use just so they can have him/her go by a nickname they like. I don't see the point. I know some people say that it's better for a child to have a full name to fall back on but I don't buy it. There are never any guarantees that a child will like his name and I refuse to think that Tommy can't be as successful as Thomas.
I realise that in the examples you give, the full name version is a result of compromise so both can have their way but I still wouldn't do it, especially not with a name like Rose that's a perfectly fine name on its own. I would try to find another name we both liked.
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If I thought the name was ok, but I didn't LOVE it, then I'd probably still use it.
If it was a name I actually disliked then I probably wouldn't use it. I don't really have a problem with just using a nickname as a full name, as it's so common. I would prefer to have a full name but I don't care that much.
If it was a name I actually disliked then I probably wouldn't use it. I don't really have a problem with just using a nickname as a full name, as it's so common. I would prefer to have a full name but I don't care that much.
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Yes and No
Yes, to the first. If my partner loved it and I loved the nn, seems like a good compromise to me. I wouldn't use it if I really didn't like it, but if I didn't mind it that would work for me. I'd just always call her Rose.
No, I'd never use a name I didn't liked. I'd either use the nn as a full name, or give up on it, or be creative and try and come up with a new full name option if I didn't feel it could work alone. I love Emmy, but none of the full names work for me (I have a cousin Emily, so that makes things tricky!). And it's too nnamey for a full name IMO. Eventually I hit on EM initials, and as Elodie is one of my favourite girls names and it doesn't come with it's own workable nn, it's worked out parefectly. She'd be Elodie half the time and Emmy the other half.
All my kids will have nn's but will also be called by the full names alot. So I'd never use a full name I didn't like just to get a nn.
Yes, to the first. If my partner loved it and I loved the nn, seems like a good compromise to me. I wouldn't use it if I really didn't like it, but if I didn't mind it that would work for me. I'd just always call her Rose.
No, I'd never use a name I didn't liked. I'd either use the nn as a full name, or give up on it, or be creative and try and come up with a new full name option if I didn't feel it could work alone. I love Emmy, but none of the full names work for me (I have a cousin Emily, so that makes things tricky!). And it's too nnamey for a full name IMO. Eventually I hit on EM initials, and as Elodie is one of my favourite girls names and it doesn't come with it's own workable nn, it's worked out parefectly. She'd be Elodie half the time and Emmy the other half.
All my kids will have nn's but will also be called by the full names alot. So I'd never use a full name I didn't like just to get a nn.
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Yes to the first option (I'm a believer in compromise), but no way to the second option. I wouldn't use a name I straight up disliked, even if my partner loved it.
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