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If you had a transgender friend who was once Adrian but is now female and wishes to be called Adriana, would you say that extra syllable is arbitrary? No, because being called Adrian is not an accurate reflection of who they are. The same applies for a Madeline who wishes to be called so, and not Maddie.

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I understand that it's not your intent to be disrespectful, and that you see nicknames as a sign of closeness, which they are. But if a person deliberately asks not to be called by a nickname, you are intentionally disrespecting them by not obliging.

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