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HelpFirst off I am PUBLICLY BEGGING TIPPINS NOT TO LEAVE
in reply to a message by Lillian
Please please don't go! Your voice is too unique to be lost to this forum! I beg you!
Now then.
So much heat generated and I'm not sure anyone got my POINT, which was not that I give a rat's ass what anybody's single opinion is -- hate Charles-on-a-girl all you want. Like I care. I didn't respond here to advocate Charles-on-a-girl and I hope no one thought I did. Everyone here is plenty smart. Think! Dig a little deeper!
What I get tired of is INTOLERANCE. I am a dedicated member of this board for years now, I am not going anywhere, and I allow myself one rant for every 100,000 intolerant posts I read here. I don't think that's too much. This thread won that lottery, that's all. I could have answered a hundred threads this way just today, and I didn't because, yes, I do think about what I'm posting.
I was trying to provoke a bit of thought. As in, "Oh, she named her baby for her belovèd late father. Okay. That makes sense. At least her first name isn't John. Now I get it. I guess I can live with that." But NO. Some of y'all can't live with that. You just can't tolerate difference.
I suppose I'm guilty of hypocrisy too because I'm intolerant of intolerance. It gives me a rash, and I'll only itch in silence for so long before I gripe.
I was snarky, and I apologize to the board in general for being so. But I do not apologize for saying how wearisome it is to hear negative opinions time and time and time and time again, often from people who don't even bother to post things they do like! It's one thing to say "I like this, I don't like that," but it's egregious to say nothing but "I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, and that over there is stupid too." Jesus Christ that gets old! For clarification's sake, I recognize that mafiosa and brilliantblue etc do post likes as well as dislikes. Other posters never do, though. Again, this thread just happened to be the 100,000th, and since it's turned into a big hot thing I'm responding once more.
And yes, it does make a difference whether you've actually named your own child. I'm not saying you don't have the right to your opinion, that's specious and silly and I would never say that. What I am saying is if you haven't done it you have no possible appreciation of how incredibly frakkin HARD it is, and you may find your little eyes opening a tad to other people's reasoning processes once you have done it. Nothing more complicated to that than that.
And just for yet more clarification if anyone still needs some, Charles-on-a-girl and mafiosa specifically have much less to do with my bad feeling today than the overall negativity of so much of the Ops board.
Now then. Obviously I ruffled quite a few feathers and started an uproar, not that I was trying to. I've been cooking dinner and helping kids with homework, lest anyone think I'm too cowardly to partake of my own mess in a timely fashion. I am finished with my rant now. I can't promise I won't respond further in this thread, but as bedtime for my kids approaches, it's unlikely. I only want to add that I am again PUBLICLY BEGGING TIPPINS NOT TO LEAVE, I do apologize for snarkiness but not my feelings, and tomorrow or two hours from now or whatever I will continue to post here just as I have for years, as I plan to do pretty much forever, frankly as though all this never happened. Till the next 100,000th post.
I still maintain: BtN forever!
Now then.
So much heat generated and I'm not sure anyone got my POINT, which was not that I give a rat's ass what anybody's single opinion is -- hate Charles-on-a-girl all you want. Like I care. I didn't respond here to advocate Charles-on-a-girl and I hope no one thought I did. Everyone here is plenty smart. Think! Dig a little deeper!
What I get tired of is INTOLERANCE. I am a dedicated member of this board for years now, I am not going anywhere, and I allow myself one rant for every 100,000 intolerant posts I read here. I don't think that's too much. This thread won that lottery, that's all. I could have answered a hundred threads this way just today, and I didn't because, yes, I do think about what I'm posting.
I was trying to provoke a bit of thought. As in, "Oh, she named her baby for her belovèd late father. Okay. That makes sense. At least her first name isn't John. Now I get it. I guess I can live with that." But NO. Some of y'all can't live with that. You just can't tolerate difference.
I suppose I'm guilty of hypocrisy too because I'm intolerant of intolerance. It gives me a rash, and I'll only itch in silence for so long before I gripe.
I was snarky, and I apologize to the board in general for being so. But I do not apologize for saying how wearisome it is to hear negative opinions time and time and time and time again, often from people who don't even bother to post things they do like! It's one thing to say "I like this, I don't like that," but it's egregious to say nothing but "I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, and that over there is stupid too." Jesus Christ that gets old! For clarification's sake, I recognize that mafiosa and brilliantblue etc do post likes as well as dislikes. Other posters never do, though. Again, this thread just happened to be the 100,000th, and since it's turned into a big hot thing I'm responding once more.
And yes, it does make a difference whether you've actually named your own child. I'm not saying you don't have the right to your opinion, that's specious and silly and I would never say that. What I am saying is if you haven't done it you have no possible appreciation of how incredibly frakkin HARD it is, and you may find your little eyes opening a tad to other people's reasoning processes once you have done it. Nothing more complicated to that than that.
And just for yet more clarification if anyone still needs some, Charles-on-a-girl and mafiosa specifically have much less to do with my bad feeling today than the overall negativity of so much of the Ops board.
Now then. Obviously I ruffled quite a few feathers and started an uproar, not that I was trying to. I've been cooking dinner and helping kids with homework, lest anyone think I'm too cowardly to partake of my own mess in a timely fashion. I am finished with my rant now. I can't promise I won't respond further in this thread, but as bedtime for my kids approaches, it's unlikely. I only want to add that I am again PUBLICLY BEGGING TIPPINS NOT TO LEAVE, I do apologize for snarkiness but not my feelings, and tomorrow or two hours from now or whatever I will continue to post here just as I have for years, as I plan to do pretty much forever, frankly as though all this never happened. Till the next 100,000th post.
I still maintain: BtN forever!
Archived Thread - replies disabled
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Replies
Miss Lillian (and Tippins, too, for that matter) has hit the nail on the head why I have been perfectly happy to pick up my toys and go elsewhere. I don't expect everyone to think that my taste is awesome, but I do expect everyone (and I don't think this is an unfair expectation in the slightest) to think about where I'm coming from when I say that I really like Adeline I Found A Reason. But I don't think the majority of people here bother to--and as I've indicated in the past, they bother still less when they're critiquing the tastes of a less established member or the tastes of someone not present to defend their choices.
Names are fun, you guys. There's so much that can be done with them. And if you want to sit in a little Henry-August-Ava-Marina box and content yourself there, you're welcome to--but at least resist the urge to insinuate that everyone else should be satisfied with Eleanor Violet just because you are.
This will (God willing) be my last post here for a good long while, and it's for reasons very similar to (and also beyond) what Tippins pointed out below. But give me a swan song, if you will, and that'll be "just because you don't like it doesn't mean my kid is doomed." Even if I name him/her Panos Arrow or Angeleta Paint Tomorrow Blue or Jenelope LaFred.
Array
Names are fun, you guys. There's so much that can be done with them. And if you want to sit in a little Henry-August-Ava-Marina box and content yourself there, you're welcome to--but at least resist the urge to insinuate that everyone else should be satisfied with Eleanor Violet just because you are.
This will (God willing) be my last post here for a good long while, and it's for reasons very similar to (and also beyond) what Tippins pointed out below. But give me a swan song, if you will, and that'll be "just because you don't like it doesn't mean my kid is doomed." Even if I name him/her Panos Arrow or Angeleta Paint Tomorrow Blue or Jenelope LaFred.
Array
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In defense of predictability... (but also wholeheartedly in favor of novelty)
To be fair, I think some of the people whose taste does fall decidedly outside of the Henry-August-Ava-Marina box don't really understand what compels anyone to work exclusively or near-exclusively from inside of it. Some people might just find themselves unable to move out of that kind of comfort zone or can't bring themselves to be daring. But others might find themselves unable to break out of that box because naming is a compromise, and can you really expect your I-like-Nathan-and-Jessica partner to go along with Ignatius Zimri? Very probably not, so why waste your time with it? As someone whose boyfriend has mentioned that he likes names like Nathan and Jessica (and other stuff that's "normal"), I'm not going to delude myself into thinking that I can get away with the likes of Atticus Tarquin or whatever.
This doesn't mean that I'm a fan of predictability, however. In fact, I feel like I'm being too predictable lately, and it's partly because I'm becoming increasingly annoyed with my own 'filler' middle names, like Violet, Juliet, and Delphine. I can trust them to work with most any name, but when I use them with most any name (and see them around the boards all the time), they get old. This is why we need more users who will suggest something novel - because personally, I don't want to get in a name rut, and who doesn't want to see a Euphemia Agnes Severina or what-have-you among all the Ava Graces, Eleanor Violets, and Rosemary Catherines?
I really wish posters with more unique tastes wouldn't go - they're the best part of this board. I don't want to let myself get talked into Maura Violet or Quentin Nathaniel if I could have Maura Guinevere or Quentin Emrys (or something even more adventurous than those) instead, you know?
To be fair, I think some of the people whose taste does fall decidedly outside of the Henry-August-Ava-Marina box don't really understand what compels anyone to work exclusively or near-exclusively from inside of it. Some people might just find themselves unable to move out of that kind of comfort zone or can't bring themselves to be daring. But others might find themselves unable to break out of that box because naming is a compromise, and can you really expect your I-like-Nathan-and-Jessica partner to go along with Ignatius Zimri? Very probably not, so why waste your time with it? As someone whose boyfriend has mentioned that he likes names like Nathan and Jessica (and other stuff that's "normal"), I'm not going to delude myself into thinking that I can get away with the likes of Atticus Tarquin or whatever.
This doesn't mean that I'm a fan of predictability, however. In fact, I feel like I'm being too predictable lately, and it's partly because I'm becoming increasingly annoyed with my own 'filler' middle names, like Violet, Juliet, and Delphine. I can trust them to work with most any name, but when I use them with most any name (and see them around the boards all the time), they get old. This is why we need more users who will suggest something novel - because personally, I don't want to get in a name rut, and who doesn't want to see a Euphemia Agnes Severina or what-have-you among all the Ava Graces, Eleanor Violets, and Rosemary Catherines?
I really wish posters with more unique tastes wouldn't go - they're the best part of this board. I don't want to let myself get talked into Maura Violet or Quentin Nathaniel if I could have Maura Guinevere or Quentin Emrys (or something even more adventurous than those) instead, you know?
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To clarify, since I feel my point may have been misinterpreted
I'm just trying to get another point of view out there. I feel like a lot of people are not really understanding where one another are coming from entirely, and I'm just giving my perspective on it.
I'd be happy to discuss any of the more outlandish names I mentioned (or even names more unconventional than those) with anyone seriously interested in them. I'd be happy to discuss them for myself if I were feeling a bit whimsical. But I think that most of the time the majority of this board wants to come up with something both distinguishable and workable: something that reflects their tastes while maintaining a subtlety that wouldn't shock, say, their partner. I'm not implying that unusual names (by board standards) are a waste of time in general, I just think that if I tried to take them seriously I'd be in for a serious letdown when I had kids. And for the most part, when I discuss names on this board, I discuss them with the intent of one day using them.
Plus, if I let myself get too caught up in the whimsy of unusual names, I fear that one day something along these lines might happen:
Me: "We're naming him Casimir Orion! Or if it's a girl she can be Lyra Hypatia Ruby!"
Him: "...how about Ethan? Or Ashley? Or a divorce?"
Well, okay, perhaps it wouldn't quite be like that on either end, but to be honest I just don't want to get myself too attached to names that I suspect most people would balk at, because when I get attached to things, it's painful for me to let go. So I try to maintain some sort of conventional usability in my combos. If that's a problem or if anyone thinks it makes me boring, well, I'm not sorry. I understand the appeal of unusual names and have felt myself called to them by their near-irresistible siren song before, but I can see why people are afraid to drift away from the more mainstream, too. You know, whatever, I'm just trying to point out that there are legitimate reasons to lean either way, and if we could all see that then maybe this place would be a lot more...well, chill.
I'm just trying to get another point of view out there. I feel like a lot of people are not really understanding where one another are coming from entirely, and I'm just giving my perspective on it.
I'd be happy to discuss any of the more outlandish names I mentioned (or even names more unconventional than those) with anyone seriously interested in them. I'd be happy to discuss them for myself if I were feeling a bit whimsical. But I think that most of the time the majority of this board wants to come up with something both distinguishable and workable: something that reflects their tastes while maintaining a subtlety that wouldn't shock, say, their partner. I'm not implying that unusual names (by board standards) are a waste of time in general, I just think that if I tried to take them seriously I'd be in for a serious letdown when I had kids. And for the most part, when I discuss names on this board, I discuss them with the intent of one day using them.
Plus, if I let myself get too caught up in the whimsy of unusual names, I fear that one day something along these lines might happen:
Me: "We're naming him Casimir Orion! Or if it's a girl she can be Lyra Hypatia Ruby!"
Him: "...how about Ethan? Or Ashley? Or a divorce?"
Well, okay, perhaps it wouldn't quite be like that on either end, but to be honest I just don't want to get myself too attached to names that I suspect most people would balk at, because when I get attached to things, it's painful for me to let go. So I try to maintain some sort of conventional usability in my combos. If that's a problem or if anyone thinks it makes me boring, well, I'm not sorry. I understand the appeal of unusual names and have felt myself called to them by their near-irresistible siren song before, but I can see why people are afraid to drift away from the more mainstream, too. You know, whatever, I'm just trying to point out that there are legitimate reasons to lean either way, and if we could all see that then maybe this place would be a lot more...well, chill.
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I agree with you, and Lillian [m]
and Tippins, you all had good points.
Though not everyone on here thinks like that though (from Lillian's post). I noticed more, and more are becoming more "open" to unconventional names :o). However, you guys know how I feel about the whole issue I'm sure so that's all I'm saying, lol.
ETA: I disgree that only parents can name things though.
and Tippins, you all had good points.
Though not everyone on here thinks like that though (from Lillian's post). I noticed more, and more are becoming more "open" to unconventional names :o). However, you guys know how I feel about the whole issue I'm sure so that's all I'm saying, lol.
ETA: I disgree that only parents can name things though.
This message was edited 12/11/2008, 10:35 AM
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Array darling!
I miss you so much! I miss your voice here! I miss your wild ideas and your insightful opinions and I almost shouted in my post above, this is why Array's never here anymore! This is why Eden's never here! And here you are, just at such a moment. OMG I love you. And I miss you and your voice here terribly, and I'm so glad you piped up and I love Angeleta Paint Tomorrow Blue and you have to PM me sometimes because I never do LJ anymore and I miss you!
I miss you so much! I miss your voice here! I miss your wild ideas and your insightful opinions and I almost shouted in my post above, this is why Array's never here anymore! This is why Eden's never here! And here you are, just at such a moment. OMG I love you. And I miss you and your voice here terribly, and I'm so glad you piped up and I love Angeleta Paint Tomorrow Blue and you have to PM me sometimes because I never do LJ anymore and I miss you!
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