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I have to say, knowing all the Tristan's that I have known (which aren't many), was shocked to see some posts where it was used as a boys name. Then I looked it up, and it states it is traditionally a masculine name. That floored me.
So I guess my question is, and where your opinion is needed... is Tristan so bad as a girl's name? It's just one of those names that sounds so feminine to me (possibly because it rhymes with Kristen). It's like using Ashley, Leslie, Courtney (etc) as a boy's name... it makes no sense to me as it sounds soft... but I know many of you would use these on a male child in an instant.
So at what point do you think it is perfectly appropriate to use a traditionally masculine name... even though it has a tendency to sound feminine? Did that make any sense at all?
So I guess my question is, and where your opinion is needed... is Tristan so bad as a girl's name? It's just one of those names that sounds so feminine to me (possibly because it rhymes with Kristen). It's like using Ashley, Leslie, Courtney (etc) as a boy's name... it makes no sense to me as it sounds soft... but I know many of you would use these on a male child in an instant.
So at what point do you think it is perfectly appropriate to use a traditionally masculine name... even though it has a tendency to sound feminine? Did that make any sense at all?
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I'm surprised to hear someone say they've only ever heard it on a girl :-) I've known several Tristan's, all male, although I do have a friend named Trista. I think it's a gorgeous name, but very masculine, even though it rhymes with Kristen. I think it would be a shame if people started naming their daughters Tristan, but that's just me.
This message was edited 4/30/2008, 7:23 PM
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Yes it is. It's the name of a well-known Medieval male character. It's like wanting to name a girl Arthur or something. Surname-derived names like Ashley and Courtney are more androgynous, and Leslie is a traditional unisex name, that's why they're different.
Incidentally, I fon't care much for Tristan on a boy either, it's not very pleasant-sounding IMO.
Incidentally, I fon't care much for Tristan on a boy either, it's not very pleasant-sounding IMO.
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To me, Tristan is male. Although I find it sounds more masculine in German than in English.
I've never heard that it's used for girls and I myself can't really say that I generelly HATE boys' names used for girls or otherwise, sometimes I love it, sometimes I loathe it.
Tristan doesn't LOOK female to me although you are partly right.
It does sound a bit female.
But nevertheless, not female enough, in my opinion.
I still like it as a boys' name and would never even think about naming a girl Tristan.
It doesn't feel right.
I like the feminine form Trista, though.
It's a bit, bit, bit tacky, but I like it.
Like Usha, somehow.
So, for me, there's no general rule for when to use a male name for a girl and when to use a female name for a boy. Sometimes it fits, sometimes it doesn't.
And you should always think about the child.
Will it be teased a lot with the name?
Although I can't state this in general, I think I'm more into 'traditional' unisex names that have been used for both sexes for a pretty long time.
Naming a boy Elizabeth or such things are simply... ugly.
I've never heard that it's used for girls and I myself can't really say that I generelly HATE boys' names used for girls or otherwise, sometimes I love it, sometimes I loathe it.
Tristan doesn't LOOK female to me although you are partly right.
It does sound a bit female.
But nevertheless, not female enough, in my opinion.
I still like it as a boys' name and would never even think about naming a girl Tristan.
It doesn't feel right.
I like the feminine form Trista, though.
It's a bit, bit, bit tacky, but I like it.
Like Usha, somehow.
So, for me, there's no general rule for when to use a male name for a girl and when to use a female name for a boy. Sometimes it fits, sometimes it doesn't.
And you should always think about the child.
Will it be teased a lot with the name?
Although I can't state this in general, I think I'm more into 'traditional' unisex names that have been used for both sexes for a pretty long time.
Naming a boy Elizabeth or such things are simply... ugly.
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Very well stated. Thanks so much.
As I stated in a previous post, you will have to forgive my ignorance in the gender of this name, as I have only heard it on girls before. And, it seems that many of you already knew the origin and several references as to why it is a boy's name. I have never heard of these references (ie Tristan and Isolde)... but then again there are several things that I find out are commonly known and I have never had the opportunity to know about them... for instance, an ex-boyfriend was shocked that I had never seen or heard of "The Man from Snowy River" and that my parents were horrible because they had never shown it to me... stuff like that.
So I profusely apologize for my ignorance.,, but I had nothing else to tell me otherwise until now. So thanks to everyone for setting me straight.
As I stated in a previous post, you will have to forgive my ignorance in the gender of this name, as I have only heard it on girls before. And, it seems that many of you already knew the origin and several references as to why it is a boy's name. I have never heard of these references (ie Tristan and Isolde)... but then again there are several things that I find out are commonly known and I have never had the opportunity to know about them... for instance, an ex-boyfriend was shocked that I had never seen or heard of "The Man from Snowy River" and that my parents were horrible because they had never shown it to me... stuff like that.
So I profusely apologize for my ignorance.,, but I had nothing else to tell me otherwise until now. So thanks to everyone for setting me straight.
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You're welcome ;).
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The only Tristan I ever knew was female, and she was such an awful witch that I will be happy if I never meet another Tristan again, female OR male.
Which is unfortunate because it's the type of name I would usually like quite a bit - on a male. Like some others have said, it's so traditionally male that it's like using Michael or James on a girl (which happens but it's ridiculous). At least names like Taylor, Ashley, etc are surnames so they're *technically* ambigenderous. Tristan is all male.
Which is unfortunate because it's the type of name I would usually like quite a bit - on a male. Like some others have said, it's so traditionally male that it's like using Michael or James on a girl (which happens but it's ridiculous). At least names like Taylor, Ashley, etc are surnames so they're *technically* ambigenderous. Tristan is all male.
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Tristan is very bad for a girl.
It is actually a boys' name, meaning not a surname so the 'surnames are unisex' argument doesn't work. I wouldn't say it is like using James, John, David etc for girls because they have a continued popularity for boys but it is like using Dominic or Oscar or something like that on a girl - not overly popular but undoubtedly a male name.
As for sounding 'feminine' because it rhymes with Kristen - Maurice and Doris sound the same in my accent so how about Maurice on a girl? Or maybe John on a girl because in some accents (though not mine) it sounds like Dawn? Or shall I use Eve on a boy because it rhymes with Steve? That is another argument that doesn't sit well with me.
For the other part of the post - I don't mind 'feminine-sounding' names on boys mainly because I don't see that as a bad thing. Sidney, Darcy, Aubrey and Dara feature very highly on my favourites for boys. I don't see it as a problem. I honestly cannot understand why boys must have either very traditional names like John, William, Thomas (though I love these) or uber-masculine names like Hunter, Cannon etc. Maybe because people are finding names like Tristan (the name of a knight for heavens sake, how more masculine can you get?) girly?
It is actually a boys' name, meaning not a surname so the 'surnames are unisex' argument doesn't work. I wouldn't say it is like using James, John, David etc for girls because they have a continued popularity for boys but it is like using Dominic or Oscar or something like that on a girl - not overly popular but undoubtedly a male name.
As for sounding 'feminine' because it rhymes with Kristen - Maurice and Doris sound the same in my accent so how about Maurice on a girl? Or maybe John on a girl because in some accents (though not mine) it sounds like Dawn? Or shall I use Eve on a boy because it rhymes with Steve? That is another argument that doesn't sit well with me.
For the other part of the post - I don't mind 'feminine-sounding' names on boys mainly because I don't see that as a bad thing. Sidney, Darcy, Aubrey and Dara feature very highly on my favourites for boys. I don't see it as a problem. I honestly cannot understand why boys must have either very traditional names like John, William, Thomas (though I love these) or uber-masculine names like Hunter, Cannon etc. Maybe because people are finding names like Tristan (the name of a knight for heavens sake, how more masculine can you get?) girly?
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Tristan is different from Ashley, Leslie, and Courtney - in my book! - because the latter three are not real names, they are surnames. Tristan is a real name. Converting Ashley from a boys' name to a girls' name is ridiculous, but the ridiculosity started when it was converted to a boys' name in the first place. Girls named Tristan is like girls named James, Altair, and William - real names that parents of baby girls thought would make their girls powerful and distinctive.
I wouldn't use Ashley, Leslie, and Courtney. Nor would I use Mackenzie or Addison. I also do not mourn the loss of Kyle, Ryan, and Riley to girls, since they were not originally boys' names in the first place - that is, i do not mourn them any more than I would mourn any random surname on girls. (I do mourn Logan, but I mourned him for becoming popular on boys too, since Logan is a family surname for me and I find it infuriating how it is used.) But I would use Morgan or Tristan in a second, if I loved them.
I am rather a surname purist. Surnames are amazing when they are family and I think very distasteful when not.
On a totally separate note, girls' names that end in -n really irk me as being masculine and ugly lately. Kristen is weirdly masculine. Lillian I can picture on a boy easily. Alison always makes me uncomfortable.
I wouldn't use Ashley, Leslie, and Courtney. Nor would I use Mackenzie or Addison. I also do not mourn the loss of Kyle, Ryan, and Riley to girls, since they were not originally boys' names in the first place - that is, i do not mourn them any more than I would mourn any random surname on girls. (I do mourn Logan, but I mourned him for becoming popular on boys too, since Logan is a family surname for me and I find it infuriating how it is used.) But I would use Morgan or Tristan in a second, if I loved them.
I am rather a surname purist. Surnames are amazing when they are family and I think very distasteful when not.
On a totally separate note, girls' names that end in -n really irk me as being masculine and ugly lately. Kristen is weirdly masculine. Lillian I can picture on a boy easily. Alison always makes me uncomfortable.
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I've never known a single Tristan and have only read of a female Tristan in a ballet recital program once years ago. It just looked wrong to me all the way around. The problem is, it's so similar to Kristin / Kristen that the rather feminine association is there, however, Tristan is solely masculine to me.
Growing up, I had always felt sorry for the male Kellys, Leslies, Courtneys and Tracys. Now as an adult, two of my male favorites are "soft" (Leo and Ian). To answer your question, even though my middle dd's mn is Brooke, I wouldn't go the gender-bending route. I'm just too traditional. Anyway, Brooke's name was more nature inspired than surnamey or masculine. That was the appeal for me.
Growing up, I had always felt sorry for the male Kellys, Leslies, Courtneys and Tracys. Now as an adult, two of my male favorites are "soft" (Leo and Ian). To answer your question, even though my middle dd's mn is Brooke, I wouldn't go the gender-bending route. I'm just too traditional. Anyway, Brooke's name was more nature inspired than surnamey or masculine. That was the appeal for me.
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This is one of the ones that gets me
I happen to like 'soft' guys' names. Claiming that 'soft' = necessarily feminine (which I don't think you did, btw; just saying) is pretty much endorsing a sexist conception of both women and men.
So I'm deeply uncomfortable with seeing names I adore on a boy - Hilary, Kelsey, Shannon and the case of cases, Alexis - now being regarded as exclusively female. Genuinely unisex (e.g. Morgan) I can cope with. It's the fact that the ones above have made the move to being "girls' names" and are now pretty much unacceptable on boys as far as the non-namenerd population is concerned.
I would really, genuinely hate for Tristan to go the same way. To me, it's one of the coolest, classiest male names out there, and the story behind the name is beautiful. Tristan is one of the cases that really, really bugs me. Using it on a girl is just . . . wrong.
I think it's because I'm an English student and my area is pretty much medieval lit - to me, Tristan will ALWAYS be the name of a Knight of the Round Table. It's about as feminine as Arthur or Lancelot, i.e. not in the slightest.
I've never seen Tristan used on a girl, and frankly I'm glad of it.
I happen to like 'soft' guys' names. Claiming that 'soft' = necessarily feminine (which I don't think you did, btw; just saying) is pretty much endorsing a sexist conception of both women and men.
So I'm deeply uncomfortable with seeing names I adore on a boy - Hilary, Kelsey, Shannon and the case of cases, Alexis - now being regarded as exclusively female. Genuinely unisex (e.g. Morgan) I can cope with. It's the fact that the ones above have made the move to being "girls' names" and are now pretty much unacceptable on boys as far as the non-namenerd population is concerned.
I would really, genuinely hate for Tristan to go the same way. To me, it's one of the coolest, classiest male names out there, and the story behind the name is beautiful. Tristan is one of the cases that really, really bugs me. Using it on a girl is just . . . wrong.
I think it's because I'm an English student and my area is pretty much medieval lit - to me, Tristan will ALWAYS be the name of a Knight of the Round Table. It's about as feminine as Arthur or Lancelot, i.e. not in the slightest.
I've never seen Tristan used on a girl, and frankly I'm glad of it.
This message was edited 4/30/2008, 3:35 AM
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PLEASE KEEP IN MIND...
That I do not have the intellectual capacity as most of you do on the history of names. I was just thinking about this name the other day when I saw it on a post for favorite male names... considering that I have ONLY heard it on girls... which surprised me... for 34 years, I have always thought it was a girls name... so I am sure you can imagine my shock. After reading the meaning of it on this website (because I still did not believe it), I had to ask all of your opinions. So by no means did I mean to make anyone angry/annoyed/frustrated by my question. I would hope you could understand where I was coming from and my ignorance on this name.
Also, the other names I have suggested that I think are traditionally girls names but used on boys... is again, from personal experience and ignorance. That's why I rely on you all to educate me.
And as far as using "soft" goes... I find (and in my opinion as this is an opinion board) there are male names to me that do not sound like they fit with other male names.... and vice versa for girls names that sound too harsh to me... if you want to classify that as sexist... go ahead... because that is the way I feel. I cannot apologize for my opinion, as it still stands the same way... but I am more than happy to be educated by you all on the background of names and learn of their history. Ignorance about the facts can be changed... but the opinion might take a little longer.
That I do not have the intellectual capacity as most of you do on the history of names. I was just thinking about this name the other day when I saw it on a post for favorite male names... considering that I have ONLY heard it on girls... which surprised me... for 34 years, I have always thought it was a girls name... so I am sure you can imagine my shock. After reading the meaning of it on this website (because I still did not believe it), I had to ask all of your opinions. So by no means did I mean to make anyone angry/annoyed/frustrated by my question. I would hope you could understand where I was coming from and my ignorance on this name.
Also, the other names I have suggested that I think are traditionally girls names but used on boys... is again, from personal experience and ignorance. That's why I rely on you all to educate me.
And as far as using "soft" goes... I find (and in my opinion as this is an opinion board) there are male names to me that do not sound like they fit with other male names.... and vice versa for girls names that sound too harsh to me... if you want to classify that as sexist... go ahead... because that is the way I feel. I cannot apologize for my opinion, as it still stands the same way... but I am more than happy to be educated by you all on the background of names and learn of their history. Ignorance about the facts can be changed... but the opinion might take a little longer.
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No problem
I love the range of opinions we get on this board, and I'm cool with it. I certainly wouldn't claim to have any kind of expertise on names in general; I guess Tristan is just one of the ones I feel strongly about.
I think it's a little odd that you met/came across only female Tristans for however long, given that I've never even heard of one, but hey. Weirder things have happened. I imagine that if I was suddenly informed that something I'd always thought was a female name was actually masculine it'd be pretty strange.
Everyone has names that they think are too soft or too hard, or don't fit. I'll never quite be able to get my head around Leto being feminine, for instance. I'm sorry if I overreacted; it's just that Tristan happens to be one that I literally never imagined could be feminine until relatively recently. All the associations I have are male.
Also, because I have Wikipedia open:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tristan - Sir Tristan
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tristan_and_Iseult - The romance of Tristan and Iseult
out of which have been made
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tristan_und_Isolde - The Wagner opera
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tristan_%26_Isolde_%28film%29 - The film with James Franco in it
I can't say I'm much of an opera fan and I've yet to see the film, but the story of Tristan and Iseult (or Yseult, or Isolde, or Isond) is one of my favourite stories from the King Arthur corpus. Sir Tristan is a wonderful character.
I love the range of opinions we get on this board, and I'm cool with it. I certainly wouldn't claim to have any kind of expertise on names in general; I guess Tristan is just one of the ones I feel strongly about.
I think it's a little odd that you met/came across only female Tristans for however long, given that I've never even heard of one, but hey. Weirder things have happened. I imagine that if I was suddenly informed that something I'd always thought was a female name was actually masculine it'd be pretty strange.
Everyone has names that they think are too soft or too hard, or don't fit. I'll never quite be able to get my head around Leto being feminine, for instance. I'm sorry if I overreacted; it's just that Tristan happens to be one that I literally never imagined could be feminine until relatively recently. All the associations I have are male.
Also, because I have Wikipedia open:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tristan - Sir Tristan
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tristan_and_Iseult - The romance of Tristan and Iseult
out of which have been made
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tristan_und_Isolde - The Wagner opera
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tristan_%26_Isolde_%28film%29 - The film with James Franco in it
I can't say I'm much of an opera fan and I've yet to see the film, but the story of Tristan and Iseult (or Yseult, or Isolde, or Isond) is one of my favourite stories from the King Arthur corpus. Sir Tristan is a wonderful character.
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Thanks for the references... when I have time tonight, will definitely go through them.
I lived in So Cal for 19 years, and there was a senior girl in my high school (when I was a freshman) who's name was Tristan Paige... her other siblings were: Demri (girl), Tasmin (girl), Chase (boy), and another weird T girl name that I cannot remember. As you can see, she came from a unique family... but this girl impressed me as she had it all... looks, brains, talent, sweet and kind... etc... so I began to adore the name Tristan after her. She had a niece named after her... so these are the only two girls I have ever known that have this name. Then I moved to Utah... and there are NO Tristan's (boys or girls) that I know of... as you can imagine, Utah is a culture shock from So Cal, and everyone seems to do whatever everyone else does here... so we have an over abundance of Emma's, Jacob's, and names that have been combined (ie Jennalynn)... so there is not much variety here.
Thanks for the further education.
I lived in So Cal for 19 years, and there was a senior girl in my high school (when I was a freshman) who's name was Tristan Paige... her other siblings were: Demri (girl), Tasmin (girl), Chase (boy), and another weird T girl name that I cannot remember. As you can see, she came from a unique family... but this girl impressed me as she had it all... looks, brains, talent, sweet and kind... etc... so I began to adore the name Tristan after her. She had a niece named after her... so these are the only two girls I have ever known that have this name. Then I moved to Utah... and there are NO Tristan's (boys or girls) that I know of... as you can imagine, Utah is a culture shock from So Cal, and everyone seems to do whatever everyone else does here... so we have an over abundance of Emma's, Jacob's, and names that have been combined (ie Jennalynn)... so there is not much variety here.
Thanks for the further education.
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Tristanne is pretty.(m)
I have a young relative (baby boy) in France called Tristan.
The name isn't very popular here in Franch-speaking Canada-some names don't make it accross the Atlantic. There' s a bit of a macho-culture among young French-speaking guys,and anything that strays too far from Luc, Jean-Marc, Pierre and such gets teased.
I have a young relative (baby boy) in France called Tristan.
The name isn't very popular here in Franch-speaking Canada-some names don't make it accross the Atlantic. There' s a bit of a macho-culture among young French-speaking guys,and anything that strays too far from Luc, Jean-Marc, Pierre and such gets teased.
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It's through-and-through a male name for me. I'd never use it on a girl, and I love gender-reversed names.
And I don't think it sounds feminine at all.
And I don't think it sounds feminine at all.
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ditto
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Is the reason that you do not think it sounds feminine is because all the Tristans you know are male? Or does it just SOUND male to you? Am interested to know what defines that decision for you.
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It just SOUNDS male to me. Really, really male. As male as Christopher, Matthew, James.
You say it sounds feminine because it rhymes with Kristen. I guess I don't get that connection because I've always seen Kristen as one of the least feminine names out there. It reminds me of Christian, which is also super male-sounding. And Tristan and Christian also rhyme, so there's even more of a male association for me.
*Shrugs* I do personally know two male Tristans. But throughout my life I've also heard of female Tristans, which has always made me think, "Really? But that's so... manly."
You say it sounds feminine because it rhymes with Kristen. I guess I don't get that connection because I've always seen Kristen as one of the least feminine names out there. It reminds me of Christian, which is also super male-sounding. And Tristan and Christian also rhyme, so there's even more of a male association for me.
*Shrugs* I do personally know two male Tristans. But throughout my life I've also heard of female Tristans, which has always made me think, "Really? But that's so... manly."
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I'm this way about August
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I know a guy named Tristan and a girl named Trista. I've never heard of a girl Tristan until this post. To me it is a masculine name. I don't know if I really have any rules about usage. Generally, I prefer names like Meredith, Courtney, Ashley, etc. on boys. I can also see those particular names on girls, I just prefer them on boys. Tristan, however, is not one that I can see on a girl. I would suggest Trista or Tristana.
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I'm from Oregon, and I know only a male Tristan.
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Ohio.
I don't live there anymore, but I used to know a couple male Tristans. I've never heard it on a female in my life.
I don't live there anymore, but I used to know a couple male Tristans. I've never heard it on a female in my life.
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I'm from Western Canada
And, as I said before, I have heard of female Tristans, but that's more like when someone names their daughter Michael. Plain male name, being put on a girl. Which I don't mind. It's just that to me, there's no ambiguity to the name Tristan (or Michael for that matter.) It's strictly male. The way it sounds, its history (Tristan and Isolde being a good example of the name being used on a male in the past), everything.
Edit: I like not to spell "strictly" correctly the first time...
And, as I said before, I have heard of female Tristans, but that's more like when someone names their daughter Michael. Plain male name, being put on a girl. Which I don't mind. It's just that to me, there's no ambiguity to the name Tristan (or Michael for that matter.) It's strictly male. The way it sounds, its history (Tristan and Isolde being a good example of the name being used on a male in the past), everything.
Edit: I like not to spell "strictly" correctly the first time...
This message was edited 4/29/2008, 11:36 PM
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It could be geographical. I'm in Indiana, so mid-west. I've heard Tristana pronounced trist-AHNA, but I guess it could work either way.
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I'm in Illinois.
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All the Tristans I know are male.(m)
I have an ex-bf who has a nephew named Tristan. And my friend's son is friends with a little boy named Tristan. And there was a Tristan in a classroom I observed who was also male. Plus the myth of Tristan and Isolde (you should see the movie) has me thinking its all male.
I've never met any female Tristans even though I have heard of it being used for females. I have met one Trista though.
Just another sad, sad case of a great male name being taken over by the ladies. *Sigh*
I have an ex-bf who has a nephew named Tristan. And my friend's son is friends with a little boy named Tristan. And there was a Tristan in a classroom I observed who was also male. Plus the myth of Tristan and Isolde (you should see the movie) has me thinking its all male.
I've never met any female Tristans even though I have heard of it being used for females. I have met one Trista though.
Just another sad, sad case of a great male name being taken over by the ladies. *Sigh*
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me too. m
I've never heard of a female Tristan. In fact it's been in the top 100 several times since the mid-nineties for males, but only a few times in the top 1000 for females. So it must be a major coincidence that you've only met female Tristans.
I have met two females named Trista, which is the feminine version of Tristan.
ETA: Oh, and I do like the name Tristan, but I can't see it on a girl at all. It seems very masculine to me. Trista would be better (although I'm not too fond of that name myself). Also I don't see how it rhyming with Kristen makes it seem more feminine. Gary rhymes with Mary but no one thinks Gary is feminine (that I know of). :) I really don't like this trend of using boys' names on girls. I don't understand why when there are plenty of strong sounding girls' names out there.
I've never heard of a female Tristan. In fact it's been in the top 100 several times since the mid-nineties for males, but only a few times in the top 1000 for females. So it must be a major coincidence that you've only met female Tristans.
I have met two females named Trista, which is the feminine version of Tristan.
ETA: Oh, and I do like the name Tristan, but I can't see it on a girl at all. It seems very masculine to me. Trista would be better (although I'm not too fond of that name myself). Also I don't see how it rhyming with Kristen makes it seem more feminine. Gary rhymes with Mary but no one thinks Gary is feminine (that I know of). :) I really don't like this trend of using boys' names on girls. I don't understand why when there are plenty of strong sounding girls' names out there.
This message was edited 4/30/2008, 5:49 AM
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nt.
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