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Sarah: dull as yesterday's dishwater.

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Sarai: I would pronounce it like Sa-RAY. Not bad but I would not ever use it.

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Hagar: As in Sammy? As in the old comic strip "Hagar the Horrible" about the Viking? (His wife, I believe was named Helga. Why is it I have retained that memory all these years?)

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Abraham, Abram: Can't see a modern man being named Abraham, it's past its time. Also had a ditzy teacher named Mrs. Abrams once.

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Iaac: Would never use it but it's all right.
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Ishmael: Call me Ishmael. That's all its good for.

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And it was so nice of Sarah to give her maid to her husband, then throw her and the son that resulted out in the desert when Hagar's having a son was exactly what Sarah had intended to happen.