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Help[Opinions] Re: Naming after brother
in reply to a message by Anonymous
My honest opinion - like, if this were me and not someone else - is that it's just vanity to refuse to use the full name and yet pretend to honor the godfather. I'd say to myself (or my husband): oh, stop it. Honoring the godfather makes it not about you and your tastes. Just use the full name.
Maybe I'm weird, but I used my dad's name as my son's middle name to honor my memory of my dad, and I don't like the name itself, as a name. I thought - who am I to decide it's not a good name? My grandmother used it. Dad lived his whole life by it. He probably didn't like the name a whole lot either, but so what, it was his name. I get to express my taste with my son's first name, and if I wanted to do that with his middle name too, I could just do it...but trying to do both things at once, just does not work for me. I could never kid myself that Sven honored Stephen.
Anyway about you though! ... I think you can do whatever feels right to you. Do you feel great about using Sven or Stevy? Then use one of them. Your brother will very likely understand completely. He'll also probably understand if you don't honor him at all with the name.
Or you could bestow two middle names. Make the first middle name be something you just like as a middle name, and also put Stephen on the paperwork as a second middle, to cast a spell of connection while keeping the pleasure of choosing a fn-mn combo.
I think Sven is a good middle name. I don't think Stevy is very good - unless that's what you actually call your brother.
- mirfak
Maybe I'm weird, but I used my dad's name as my son's middle name to honor my memory of my dad, and I don't like the name itself, as a name. I thought - who am I to decide it's not a good name? My grandmother used it. Dad lived his whole life by it. He probably didn't like the name a whole lot either, but so what, it was his name. I get to express my taste with my son's first name, and if I wanted to do that with his middle name too, I could just do it...but trying to do both things at once, just does not work for me. I could never kid myself that Sven honored Stephen.
Anyway about you though! ... I think you can do whatever feels right to you. Do you feel great about using Sven or Stevy? Then use one of them. Your brother will very likely understand completely. He'll also probably understand if you don't honor him at all with the name.
Or you could bestow two middle names. Make the first middle name be something you just like as a middle name, and also put Stephen on the paperwork as a second middle, to cast a spell of connection while keeping the pleasure of choosing a fn-mn combo.
I think Sven is a good middle name. I don't think Stevy is very good - unless that's what you actually call your brother.
- mirfak
This message was edited 2/2/2024, 9:09 PM
