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I would try to avoid names with multiple pronunciations or names in which the normal pronunciation differs from your preferred. If you do have to use such a name, I would suggest using the accepted pronunciation. It's just too much of a hassle to constantly have to correct people every time they mispronounce your name.

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No one has ever pronounced my surname correctly at first glance, so now when telling people my surname, I just pronounce it the way everyone else does.

My last name is almost never pronounced correctly, and avoiding first names with the same problem is important to me. I would never choose a pronunciation that differs widely from the norm, such as bee-AT-riss for Beatrice (I met one once). Names with multiple pronunciations, like Helena, Madeline, or Alicia, don't make it onto my lists.

I would avoid a name with different pronounciations.Unless it was a family name, for example, that I really wanted to use. Then I'd live with it, or,actually, my child would live with it.

I've discovered the less common a name is, the more one can get away with using the traditional pronunciation. If a name is common, then it takes much more effort. For example, my youngest dd is named Anna. When she was born, my dh and I used the flat American a sound. When she began kindergarten, her teacher had a bff named Anna (pronounced AH-nuh) and she began calling Anna by that pronunciation. All of the kids followed suit as did the principal, vice principal, cafeteria lady and bus driver. We thought it was cute but didn't give it much thought until the next year of school when Anna began introducing herself to her new teacher as AH-nuh and since there were old classmates in her new class who had already called her by using that pronunciation as well, the name took off. At the end of that year, she asked us to begin calling her AH-nuh and I'll be honest and say that I didn't want to and I didn't care for it at all. Still, I figured it was her name and her choice and after guaranteeing a promise from her that she would correct those who got it wrong the first time -- especially in this country -- our family agreed to call her AH-nuh. I'd say it took about a year to get it right consistently and now the flat a sounds dead wrong. She's 16 now, btw.

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Having said that, there are names I love enough where I'd use the traditional pronunciation: Eliana (or any 'ana' name pronounced AH-nuh), Saoirse, Rhys, Catriona or Caitriona, Marisa (long e sound), Teresa (Spanish pronunciation), Tamara (tah-MAR-uh), Anneliese, etc.

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As for the examples you gave:

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Ottilie- OH-til-lee
Ophelie- OH-feh-lee
Lucia- loo-SEE-uh
Helena- HEH-len-uh or heh-LAY-nuh because I realize both are common pronunciations where I live (US South)

This message was edited 10/25/2014, 11:07 AM

In all honesty, people who the name matters to (friends, family, teachers, etc) will pick up the correct pronunciation quickly. People who it doesn't matter to (the lady at starbucks, a substitute teacher, etc), what's it matter if they don't get it right? If it matters, all you'd have to do is quickly correct "it's pronounced blibblity-blah" and odds are the person will be apologetic.

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My name is Rachel -- one of the most common names for girls around my age. I get called Raquel half the time. It doesn't bother me. If it's someone I'll be interacting with regularly, I'll just say "It's actually Rachel".

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I was friends with a girl named Maressa when I was a kid. Of course, most people called her Marissa. She pronounced it mar-ASS-uh (which, to tell the truth, is kind of unfortunate in itself). Once people are corrected once, they usually don't make the mistake again.

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Go with the prn you like best. If it really bothers you, choose a different name.

I think that people should pronounce the name however they want to, but they need to be understanding when other people don't, or can't. My little sister is called Kyriaki, and where we grew up, that's pronounced to rhyme with teriyaki. It's properly pronounced Kee-ree-ah-KEE. This drove my dad crazy, but she's never cared, because it's not their fault they can't pronounce Greek names properly. I couldn't pronounce names like Gwenllian and Greetje properly if I tried. For names with multiple accepted pronounciations, like Hel-en-ah vs. He-lain-ah, then you just pick the one you like best and roll with it. The kid may change it someday, or others might use another accepted pronounciation, but that's actually a cool part of the multiple pronounciation names-you can play around with how your name sounds without ever changing it.

Honestly, in the long run I don't think it matters much. My name is Leah and the typical American pronunciation if Lee-uh, but I have been called Lee, Leia, and Lay-ahh all within this country. So, people will pronounce a name in the way that is most common to them but that doesn't always mean it is the most common where you live.

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That being said, I would just go with the pronunciation I like best and introduce the child/pet/character that way.

Well, here's a hypothetical example: French-speaking parents want to name their daughter Denise, which they naturally pronounce Deh-NEEZ, near as I can tell. Denise is pretty common in the US, but it's always pronounced Deh-NEECE. Should they name her Denise?
Yes, I think they should. Because of their language and accent, everything they say, including any name they might call their kids, is going to be pronounced differently than it is in English. That really can't be helped.

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But if a non-French-speaking parent wants to name their daughter Ophelie, a name pretty much unused in the US, and they want it pronounced the French way, Oh-FAY-Lee, I think they're out of luck and should choose a name with an unambiguous pronunciation.

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I know a woman named Melissa. Her family is totally American, no foreign accents or connections. Her mother insisted on pronouncing Melissa's name as Meh-LEE-Suh, completely ridiculous given the double s and the family's lack of accent. So Melissa is Meh-LEE-Suh to her immediate family, but Melissa to everybody else. She introduces herself as Melissa, pronounced the usual way.

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I say, name pronunciation should go with the flow of where you live and the people around you. If the conventional pronunciation bothers you that bad, you should save everybody a lot of grief and choose another name.

If I liked a name, but only liked it with a pronunciation that differed from the way the majority of people in my area would assume it was pronounced, I'd avoid it altogether.

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Even if I liked a name that had two equally accepted pronunciations, but I only liked one, I'd avoid it. I went to school with a Helena. Helena is a name that I have never been sure how to pronounce. I asked this Helena how she pronounced her name, and she said, "He-LANE-a." So that's what I called her. But some people referred to her as "HEL-en-a." Just a pain in the patootie, and it would bother me if I wanted a "He-LANE-a" and half the time she was called "HEL-en-a".

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I also believe that a name should be avoided altogether if one dislikes any nickname for it. I saw how my mother-in-law was annoyed when her little boy Jamie decided he wanted to be called Jim. My daughter's name is Victoria nn Torrie, however, I do not dislike Vicky at all and if I had, I would have decided against the name. I was way more bothered when she decided at one point to spell her nickname Tori than I would have been by her deciding to go by Vicky.

I'd use whichever pronunciation I preferred. If and when the name is pronounced differently, I'll decide at the time whether or not it's appropriate to make a correction and allow my child to do the same as they get older.

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Speaking as someone whose name has a total of 71 variants, and therefore a lot of variant pronunciations, I rarely feel the need to make corrections. In fact, I think the only time I do correct people on the pronunciation of my name is when it's a native English speaker who mispronounces it by altering the central vowel. Other than that, the people who pronounce it differently are generally those who speak English as a second, third, or even fourth language, and I would personally feel incredibly rude if I were to even consider correcting them. I actually think it's quite fun having a name that has so many variants and I'm quite happy for my friends who do speak a different first language to call me whatever comes naturally to them - often, it's almost as though they have a special name for me that no one else does, and I rather like that.

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Yeah, yada yada. If I have an AW-gəst August and people call him OW-guwst, that's fine, and if I have a ROM-ə-lee Romilly and people call her ro-mə-YEE, that's fine too.

I would use the pronunciation I like the most! I certainly try to avoid names that are tough to pronounce/spell where I live.