[Facts] I thought she'd sliced off and mailed her buttock!
So THAT'S what that was? You know, I almost didn't open the package, but then I read the accompanying note from Elaine:
"I am so sorry that you brought out the worst in me on your message board. It was not my fault but that hardly matters now because none of you will ever be able to see that. If only you all weren't such a bunch of jerks about giving stupid names to children and if only you all realized how abusive that is to children then you would not have treated me so disrespectfully. But it is too late now and I won't hold it against you even though you jerks know you were wrong and that you were jerks and you just won't admit it to spite me. All I wanted to do was to bring a little enlightenment to you and teach you something about good manners just as Miss Manners would have done. But I see that it was all in vain because you wouldn't listen to me but that's all right now. I am not going to let it bother me but instead I am going to just curl up on my living room sofa and obsessively pull out my eyelashes. I am not even angry at Nanaea anymore [ouch!] and I no longer hate her with a [OUCH!] blinding white-hot rage and I have forgiven [ouch! owwww!] her and I no longer wish that she be [OW!] shot in the head. I am nearly done now [owwwww, yowwitch!] pulling out all my eyelashes and I feel very, very calm. So please except my small token of a peace offering and may you remember me kindly. Shalom."
But when I opened the package, it was like, GOOD GAWD, WHAT THE FREAK? WHAT *IS* THAT NASTY THING?!! DID SHE MAIL ME HER BUTTOCK???
-- Nanaea