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Help[Opinions] Re: Quiddity
in reply to a message by beethoven
Brilliant. I've always hated the concept of "honoring" without using the name itself, but I was never able to express it the way that you did, nor even come close. May I copy and paste this every time someone makes an "I want to honor but I hate the name" post?
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What if the person you wish to honour
hates/hated his/her own name though? Then what? Would you find out what the person would have rather been called and use that?
hates/hated his/her own name though? Then what? Would you find out what the person would have rather been called and use that?
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That might be an interesting approach to it.
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My mom wanted to name my sister Adele after my grandmother Adele, but she hated her name so much she protested loudly against the notion. So instead she got Anna, after an Ann, who remained chuffed her whole life that her great granddaughter had gotten her name. *shrug*
I dunno what I would do. It would depend on a lot of factors I don't have privy to right now.
I dunno what I would do. It would depend on a lot of factors I don't have privy to right now.
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Ah, well, I have experience of this. Which I have stated here before. I think more than once. But I don't remind repeating it. Which should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me.
My mom's name was Zoe and she hated her name with a passion. I was very well aware of the fact that she hated her name, but nonetheless I gave my daughter the middle name of Zoe, without consulting my mother. My mother was very pleased by this, and I can still remember the tears coming into her eyes at my daughter's christening when the minister said the name, "Victoria Zoe."
I've read posts in which it's stated, "But I don't think my grandma would have wanted me to use her name because she hated it." So I point out to the poster that, due to my own experience, I know that it is not a given that a person who hates his or her own name would object to its use for honoring purposes.
No, I wouldn't find out what the person would rather have been called and use that. I assume my mother loved the girls' names she used, which were Linda, Janice, Patricia, and Pamela, and would most likely rather have been called one of those than Zoe. But I wouldn't use any of those, of course...that would be honoring my sisters or myself rather than my mom. Not something I'd do in any case, anyway.
You know, I'm stubborn enough anyway, that I know if my mother *had* told me not use her name because she hated it, I would have done it anyway. I'd had it planned since I was fourteen years old, and she wasn't going to talk me out of it.
My mom's name was Zoe and she hated her name with a passion. I was very well aware of the fact that she hated her name, but nonetheless I gave my daughter the middle name of Zoe, without consulting my mother. My mother was very pleased by this, and I can still remember the tears coming into her eyes at my daughter's christening when the minister said the name, "Victoria Zoe."
I've read posts in which it's stated, "But I don't think my grandma would have wanted me to use her name because she hated it." So I point out to the poster that, due to my own experience, I know that it is not a given that a person who hates his or her own name would object to its use for honoring purposes.
No, I wouldn't find out what the person would rather have been called and use that. I assume my mother loved the girls' names she used, which were Linda, Janice, Patricia, and Pamela, and would most likely rather have been called one of those than Zoe. But I wouldn't use any of those, of course...that would be honoring my sisters or myself rather than my mom. Not something I'd do in any case, anyway.
You know, I'm stubborn enough anyway, that I know if my mother *had* told me not use her name because she hated it, I would have done it anyway. I'd had it planned since I was fourteen years old, and she wasn't going to talk me out of it.
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