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Try Xan/Xandra?

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My daughter is Alexandra Salome, and goes by either Alexandra, Xandra, 'Andra by my three year old, or Slices (My MIL mispronounced Salome as Salami the first time she read it and my FIL won't let her live it down, poor woman ;)

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I hate Alex as a nickname as well, so I've tried to cut itt off at the start which has worked for everyone but one or two opinionated relatives (another calls her Lexi).

I love Alexander nn Alec, and dislike Alexandra

I like Alexander and Alexandra. I also like Alexandria. But I've liked Alex on a girl since I was little, although I like it on a boy too. I'm almost the opposite of you, I suppose, because even though I realize that there are a lot of girls named Alexis, it doesn't sound very feminine to me and I think it's very nice on a boy. Alex, on the other hand, does sound a bit more masculine.

I love Alexander but I really do hate Alexandra for some reason.

Alexis is masculine as well as Alex. I like Alexa as a nickname for Alexandra. I love both Alexandra and Alexander.

NNs are not a must, and I leave it completely up to the child. If you truly loathe Alex, then I would avoid it because Alexander might grow up wanting to be called Alex. However, if you just prefer Alexander, calling him Alex is not a must and you can just make it clear to family his name is not Alex. My cousin Anthony has never been called anything but that. I also met a few kids when I worked at a camp that never went by anything but their full name. Among them were William, Daniel, Christopher, and Zachary.

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NNs are not a must and I don't understand why people avoid a wonderful full name so their child's name is not shortened when its up to them to tell people its just Alexander (in your case). I love lots of names where I don't like the nns, but that doesn't stop me from using them, unless I truly hate it (for instant, I dislike Will, but not enough not to use William, but I loathe Lilly and therefore would probably never use Lillian despite it being a name DH and I agree on)

I love Alexandra.
I like Alexander, but mostly as a mn.
I think that nn's are avoidable. You don't have much to worry about, they would be fine as fn's. Though Alexander nn Alex might be slightly less avoidable.