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This is my son Cotton
You say: Oh..cute. Is he named for someone in your family?
You think: Cotton's balls. The touch, the feel, of Cotton. Poor kid.

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This is my son Bartholomew
You say: Bart? Cute
You think: Poor kid

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This is my son Cornelius (Neely)
You say: Is he named after someone?
You think: Poor kid

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This is my son Florian
You say: Oh...nice.
You think: Poor kid!

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This is my daughter Magnolia
You say: Oh, how pretty.
You think: A little 'out there' but pretty. Maggie as a nn, maybe? Or Noli?

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This is my daughter Octavia
You say: Pretty.
You think: Eh, maybe too different. But still pretty.

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This is my daughter Beatrix
You say: Like Beatrix Potter, cute.
You think: Not a big fan of it, but it's not horrible.

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This is my daughter Eulalia
You say: Say again?
You think: Poor kid