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Re: If you had to..
in reply to a message by Nix
I found it really difficult too! I would genuinely use my girl picks, but the boy ones I really waffled over, like would I REALLY have the guts to use these though? It felt so much more wrong and risky to even contemplate calling a boy Zoe, or even Wednesday. I'm sure it does have something to do with internalized gender prejudice.

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That's exactly what happened to me! I've been thinking about it and perhaps it's because of how feminism and the deconstruction of gender roles has focused more on women than men. Of course, women have historically suffered more due to discrimination and gender roles but only in the last few years have I seen people commenting on how these gender stereotypes also affect men (the belief that men shouldn't cry or be emotional, etc.). Liberating from gender roles has not been as easy for men as it has been for women, since men are the ones who have been the most privileged over the years, most of the time thanks to gender roles. Because of that, I think that society accepts women who have traditionally masculine traits (standing up for themselves, being independent or agressive, etc.) more than men who have traditionally feminine traits (being emotional, choosing to be stay-at-home parents, etc.). This view might also extend to names, so that traditionally masculine names are well viewed in girls instead of the other way around. Also, gender prejudice is not easily erased from our minds despite how hard we try to deconstruct some beliefs and the thought that men are better than women is probably still hidden somewhere, so we don't consciously believe that but it makes some subconscious decisions biased.
Totally! And I think for me, the issue was about wondering if it was fair of me to give a boy a name that would challenge so many other people and probably make his life more difficult. Even though I agree with the principles and would WANT a son that is sensitive, gentle, home-loving etc, to put a name on him that really broadcasts those ideas would make him the focus of a lot of people's discomfort and confusion and it wouldn't be fair to designate him as like, a mascot for my beliefs - even if I think they are correct. I think it's easier for girls to wear boy names because in a lot of ways, humans still see maleness as "default human" and respectable.