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I know what you mean. There have been discussions in the Lounge about questions and comments directed at women who either never plan to have children or who are postponing it. Some have objected to even the most basic question, "So, are you planning on having children?" I've asked that question myself of so-far-childless couples and it never occurred to me that it's SO offensive. I've even said, to women who never plan to have children, "Well, I hope you don't regret that later on." I've also said, if they are young enough, "You might change your mind later on." Now from reading threads on the Lounge, I realize that these questions and comments are considered just SO intrusive and so horrible and so none-of-your-business and so indefensible. I make them just the same! The fact is, I know that it does happen, to some people, that they change their minds about having children and that some people live to regret it. It shouldn't be treated as if that's IMPOSSIBLE.

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The fact is, that although it's much more common than it used to be, the decision to never have children is still made by a minority of people, and to a good portion of the majority who have or want to have children, it's really incomprehensible. I guess I feel the way that you do---you've made a minority decision, a decision which seems very unnatural to a good amount of people---so it's not like you have some God-given right to never ever ever hear anyone make any kind of comment about it.

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So in your words, I don't think that it makes them immune from feedback or that there's no cost to making the decision.

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It works the other way too---I had a friend who received a lot of negative comments when she revealed the fact that she was pregnant with her fourth child. The Duggars know that they come in for a lot of criticism. They've made a very unusual choice, so it's something that they have to deal with.

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