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Cherish Alleyah: Does this sound like a command to anyone else?
Frantresa: But, but, Francis and Theresa are such lovely names! And this is such crap. If they needed to be egotistical, why didn't they call her Frances Theresa or Theresa Frances?
Jynjer: I'd never have thought it. Worse than Jinger Dugger.
Mystic (Rayne and Hunter): Passing down the tradition of bad names. I honestly cannot tell which of her parents is the male, or if there's two males, or two females, or maybe they're both transsexual...
Promise: Twee.
Rhian Jenai: What's a Jenai? Is it like a Jenny? Or a Jedi? Or a Jedi named Jenny?
Sapphire: Twee.
Shakima-Sincere: Tweer. And what is a Shakima? Shake it, Ma?
Rommel: What is this supposed to be?
Traveler: How precious.
Assiatou: Really? Like "sit down" in French, in crappy grammar? (Assiez-vous would be correct, assiez-tu is inappropriatly conjugated.) Anyway, all I hear is "sit down". Is his middle name John?
Hennacey: Is this supposed to be like Tennesee?
Hilaria: I actually don't think this is that bad of a name. Pronounced as it's listed in the database, it's rather pretty. However, pronounced hi-LA-ree-a, which is how I initially pronounced it, it sounds like malaria.
Hubertha: Is this meant to be a feminisation of Hubert? Yikes.
Ken'nianiah: I can't put a glottal stop there; I tried.
Khascian: Sounds like a nationality, doesn't it?
Mehwish: A directionless character from Into the Woods- "Meh...I wish...I guess..."
Messiah: Jesus, I understand. That's a name. Messiah is a bloody title. Also, maybe no one clued these parents into the part where messiahs aren't supposed to say that they are the messiah, because someone who does that couldn't be the messiah? Good God!
Nairobi: City names are stupid. This is no exception.
Ocean: Meh.
Phearith: Nay, do not fearith the Lord, for he is Good...
Rhym: Job.

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Zyon and Zyron: What. The. Fuck. Parents, here's the nifty thing about twins. You don't have to match them. The come pre-matched! Your effort should go into letting them have their own bleeding identites!