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They are both ugly ugly ugly, for different reasons. Maxine is harsh and sounds like a disinfectant spray that burns like fire when you put it on a scratch. Like Bactine but maxed. And little boy Maxes are a dime a dozen. (And dog and cat Maxes.)

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Sloan(e) sounds both dead-weight heavy and slimy, and has such a faux-blueblood-pretentious air about it. The sl sound isn't attractive.

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Put a gun to my head and I'd choose Maxine; at least everybody'd know I was a girl and it doesn't have slow in it.

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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you criticize him, you're a mile away and you have his shoes!
Steve Martin