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The definition of a Dowager is: a woman who holds some title or property from her deceased husband, especially the widow of a king, duke, etc. (often used as an additional title to differentiate her from the wife of the present king, duke, etc.): a queen dowager; an empress dowager.

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Since I couldn't find a masculine form, I just decided to use Dowager to mean a man or woman who once ruled, but now doesn't.

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Some people have decided that their Kingdom's have a mandatory "term limit" sort of deal, and can therefore have two Dowager/ex-Rulers. Other's have decided that the Throne only stays with the original heir, and the Dowager Ruler is the one who has married into the family. Some have decided to have the Dowager/ex-Ruler step down from ruling. Other's have just killed both parents off to make it easier :)

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I'll try and keep track of everything so that it's easy for you when you decide to catch up :)