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This is my daughter Julie Elizabeth
Think: Shame about the 'Julie' part.
Say: Oh. Nice.

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This is my son Andrew Joseph "A.J."
Think: Unfortunate nickname.
Say: Why "A.J."?

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This is my daughter Heather Jean
Think: Heather. Nice. Jean. No...
Say: Is she named after someone, or something?

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This is my son Stephan Earl
Think: Earl. Poor kid's going to get the daylights beaten out of him at highschool.
Say: Stephan's a great name.

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This is my daughter Amanda Rose
Think: Dude... No,
Say: Erm... Uh huh...

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This is my son Theodore James "T.J."
Think: Bad... Bad... Bad...
Say: Ouch...

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This is my daughter Kassondra Irene
Think: Ew! No! No "K"s for "C"s
Say: Irene is nice.

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This is my son Adam Benjamin
Think: A normal name for once.
Say: You don't call him "A.J.", do you?

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This is my daughter Abigail Ellen "Abby"
Think: Pity about the nickname.
Say: Did she choose the nickname?

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This is my son Joshua Tyler
Think: Joshua: Good. Tyler: Bad.
Say: Joshua? Nice.

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Hollywood was a famous glamour girl,
She liked to race around with her promoter Sal.
Late one night, this resulted in her death,
For the brakes were cut by a stalker named Seth.