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1. This is my son Conley.
You say: Oh, how cute.
You think: Oh, how... original...

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2. This is my daughter Emeline.
You say: Hello.
You think: I am so sick of that name...

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3. This is my daughter Ivy.
You say: Ivy is adorable.
You think: Kind of cute and definitely full of personality.

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4. This is my son Casey.
You say: Interesting choice.
You think: And by interesting I mean bland.

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5. These are my twins Dalton and Dayton.
You say: Hello, children.
You think: Are you boys are girls? And what were your parents smoking when they picked those atrocities? Let me guess, Nascar fans?

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6. This is my daughter Guinevere.
You say: How pretty!
You think: Hate the spelling, but it could be worse.

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7. This is my daughter Stella.
You say: Nice name.
You think: Nice but too trendy lately. Good luck being Stella J. (as opposed to Stella B., Stella K., Stella Q., etc.) for the rest of your life.

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8. This is my son Petru.
You say: Hi, Petru.
You think: Petrochemmicals.

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9. This is my daughter Molly.
You say: What a sweet name.
You think: Can't see anything wrong with it. Average but harmless.

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10. These are my triplet daughters Nellie, Kellie, and Mallie.
You say: *awkward cough* (because when you can't say anything nice...)
You think: dear god, what is wrong with your parents? you poor, poor girls...