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This is my son, Harlequin.
You say: Ugly.
You think: NO!

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This is my son, Mercutio.
You say: What?
You think: Pompous, ugly, and olf-fashioned.

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This is my son, Hermes.
You say: A disease?
You think: Pretentious.

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This is my son, Brighella.
You say: Girly.
You think: Stupid.

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This is my daughter, Columbine.
You say: Weird.
You think: I don't think of the school. I think of the sadistic jerk Columbus.

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This is my daughter, Cinderella.
You say: Cinderella dressed in yellow...you know how it goes.
You think: Ha ha!

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This is my daughter, Latona.
You say: What?
You think: Sounds pseudoethnic.

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This is my daughter, Arleith.
You say: Sounds masculine.
You think: Ugly.