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This is my son Riley.
You say: Nice to see this on a boy! is it family by any chance?
You think: It is better on boys I guess; on girls it's completely ludicrous

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This is my son Alexander. We call him Alex.
You say: I love that name!
You think: I do! I am glad to see it is still really common

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This is my son Jason.
You say: Hi Jason
You think: -

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This is my son Gabriel.
You say: How handsome! One of my favorites
You think: ^. Also I hope she doesn't mind if I call him Gabe. Because I am def calling him Gabe

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This is my son William
You say: (Same reaction as Alexander, if slightly less enthusiastic)
You think: (^) Also thank god she's not calling him Liam

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This is my daughter Lillian. We call her Lily.
You say: Awww!
You think: Pretty and sweet

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This is my daughter Rose
You say: ^
You think:^

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This is my daughter Katherine. We call her Katie.
You say: That is lovely. I am going to call her Kay though because I know ten blue billion Katies, I hope you don't mind.
You think: WHY WOULD YOU EVER CALL ANYONE KATIE. EVER.

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This is my daughter Violet.
You say: That is a nice name. It is coming back into style.
You think: Overrated and super trendy; Vi is neat though

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This is my daughter Cordelia.
You say: Oh that is my favorite name seriously. I want to name my second daughter Cordelia. You know I just got done reading King Lear and Cordelia was the only nice daughter. The moral of the story is that if you name your kids dreadful names like Regan and Goneril they will be the worst people in the world, but if you use lovely ones like Cordelia they will be the best people in the world. Anyway they will all die in the end anyway. Anyway! (Then I would ask a bunch of questions)
You think: ^