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Sorry, but we'll keep shipping it to points overseas until we can find some group that can choke it down. Outside of the Twister (what in Greek? Twistos? Twistaki?), which is a sort of fried chicken gyro and not half bad, Colonel Food is grim. No wonder it originated in a city called Corbin (French for "raven", the alleged source of the meat).

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And don't be fooled by the cartoonish depictions at stores and in ads of Col. Sanders as a jovial goateed elf. Reliable sources say he was ill-tempered and swore like a trooper.

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Around here folks favor something called Lee's Famous Recipe, and it ain't bad for store-bought chicken.