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What's the best form of birth control after 50? Nudity
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 lbs.
What;s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and b*tch.
What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest.
Why are men and parking spaces alike? All the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.
What have men and floor tiles got in common? If you lay them properly the first yime, you can walk on them for life.
Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't handle criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are caring, sensitive and good looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? the same thing that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
What is the biggest problem for an athiest? No one to talk to during an orgasm.
Who do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. (sorry Gia!)
Who is the most popular guy at the nudest colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a donuts.
Why does the bide wear white? Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refridgerator.
A burnette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in the third grade. Which one has the biggest boobs? The blonde, because she's 18.
Which position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mom.
How do you know when you're leading a sad life? When a nymphomanic says, "Let's just be friends."
What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she's pregnant? Are you sure it's mine?
Why do driver's education classes in redneck schools only use the cars on Mondays, Wednesday's and Friday's? Because the sex ed classes use it on Tuesday's abd Thursday's.
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern begins, "Once upon a time..." and a southern begins, "Ya'll aint gonna believe this sh*t."
Just some things to make you snile. :)))))
Sarahjeanne
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 lbs.
What;s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and b*tch.
What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest.
Why are men and parking spaces alike? All the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.
What have men and floor tiles got in common? If you lay them properly the first yime, you can walk on them for life.
Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't handle criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are caring, sensitive and good looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? the same thing that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
What is the biggest problem for an athiest? No one to talk to during an orgasm.
Who do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. (sorry Gia!)
Who is the most popular guy at the nudest colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a donuts.
Why does the bide wear white? Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refridgerator.
A burnette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in the third grade. Which one has the biggest boobs? The blonde, because she's 18.
Which position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mom.
How do you know when you're leading a sad life? When a nymphomanic says, "Let's just be friends."
What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she's pregnant? Are you sure it's mine?
Why do driver's education classes in redneck schools only use the cars on Mondays, Wednesday's and Friday's? Because the sex ed classes use it on Tuesday's abd Thursday's.
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern begins, "Once upon a time..." and a southern begins, "Ya'll aint gonna believe this sh*t."
Just some things to make you snile. :)))))
Sarahjeanne
1
Replies
I liked 'em all, but my wife and I howled at the first one. Gettin a little to close to reality, SJ!!
1
Sorry, Davidh, I meant to raise the age there to 80, but forgot! LOL
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Sarahjeanne
Why don't cats have independently moving digits? Because it is too difficult to move on three paws while the fourth is giving everybody else the finger. ;)
Phyllis (aka Sidhe Uaine or Gaia Euphoria)
Why don't cats have independently moving digits? Because it is too difficult to move on three paws while the fourth is giving everybody else the finger. ;)
Phyllis (aka Sidhe Uaine or Gaia Euphoria)
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You know, I can just picture this, and it's crackin' me up.
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Well, this was the one that made me laugh out loud...
"What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest."
:)
-- Nanaea
"What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest."
:)
-- Nanaea
1
I liked some of them
But some of them were a bit too rough to be really funny, I think.
But perhaps I am just too sensitive :)
But some of them were a bit too rough to be really funny, I think.
But perhaps I am just too sensitive :)
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Worry not friend
You did no such thing. It takes more to do that :)
You did no such thing. It takes more to do that :)
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I'm very glad to hear that. :)
Sarahjeanne
Sarahjeanne
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:P
1