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ArchivesOff Topic: Media Highs and Lows
Saw two movies this week that completely support my side of a 27-year marital firefight over whether you should listen to movie reviewers.
I've always maintained that most movie reviewers are gay and therefore, despite certain disgusting sexual proclivities, tend to be somewhat insightful in matters of popular culture. (Maybe I'm kidding; you decide). My wife acknowledges the gay part but says they're often dead wrong about the quality of movies.
Bowing to her inclinations last year, we didn't go to see "American Beauty" in the theater, which I thought was strange because she's a Kevin Spacey fan. Finally saw it this week on video, and the critics were RIGHTRIGHTRIGHT, she was WRONGRONGRONG. Good flick, and even she admitted it!
Cut to this Saturday. Heading up to Lexington, planning to catch a movie in the process. Had read three STINKO reviews of "The Mummy Returns". She said "it can't be that bad, they over-react, let's see it".
"The Mummy Returns": six flicks worth of computer special effects (some rather good) and not one Dirt Devil commercial worth of plot!
$14 and two hours into this gobbler, she sez, "Dear God, the only thing that could make this worse is if that moron with the destroyed airship somehow got it patched back together and manages to rescue these losers off this exploding pyramid!" Yep, you guessed it...
This is like one of the top opening-weekend movies ever, and Variety's exit poll (read today) said 90% of the moviegoers rated it "excellent" or "very good". Now I know what that smell was in the theater. It came from where their heads usually reside...
I've always maintained that most movie reviewers are gay and therefore, despite certain disgusting sexual proclivities, tend to be somewhat insightful in matters of popular culture. (Maybe I'm kidding; you decide). My wife acknowledges the gay part but says they're often dead wrong about the quality of movies.
Bowing to her inclinations last year, we didn't go to see "American Beauty" in the theater, which I thought was strange because she's a Kevin Spacey fan. Finally saw it this week on video, and the critics were RIGHTRIGHTRIGHT, she was WRONGRONGRONG. Good flick, and even she admitted it!
Cut to this Saturday. Heading up to Lexington, planning to catch a movie in the process. Had read three STINKO reviews of "The Mummy Returns". She said "it can't be that bad, they over-react, let's see it".
"The Mummy Returns": six flicks worth of computer special effects (some rather good) and not one Dirt Devil commercial worth of plot!
$14 and two hours into this gobbler, she sez, "Dear God, the only thing that could make this worse is if that moron with the destroyed airship somehow got it patched back together and manages to rescue these losers off this exploding pyramid!" Yep, you guessed it...
This is like one of the top opening-weekend movies ever, and Variety's exit poll (read today) said 90% of the moviegoers rated it "excellent" or "very good". Now I know what that smell was in the theater. It came from where their heads usually reside...
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Replies
Anagram du jour
We've seen anagrammed Hippie names. How 'bout anagrammed gay 'n' lesbian names?
The first (and probably last) one goes to Daividh: Sir Gabryelle (="gerbil slayer")
We've seen anagrammed Hippie names. How 'bout anagrammed gay 'n' lesbian names?
The first (and probably last) one goes to Daividh: Sir Gabryelle (="gerbil slayer")
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LOL! Daividh's gonna beat you up, if you keep it up. :)
I'm at work right now, and can't do any anagrammin' coz I'm supposed to be... you know... that "w" word. ("w*rking").
But I'll add to your list my last contribution of that Greek chick: Elise B. Pindar (Lesbian Pride).
-- Nanaea
I'm at work right now, and can't do any anagrammin' coz I'm supposed to be... you know... that "w" word. ("w*rking").
But I'll add to your list my last contribution of that Greek chick: Elise B. Pindar (Lesbian Pride).
-- Nanaea
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Continuing on the "___Pride" theme... In addition to the "Lesbian Pride" activist, I've discovered the spokespersons for a few other Pride groups.
For "Wiccan Pride":
Caprice Wind
For "Pagan Pride":
Piper Dagan
Padraig Pen
For "Satanist Pride":
Astrid Sapient
Tristian Spade
Destini Sparta
Dantae Spirits
Danita Sprites
For "Redneck Pride":
Dedrick Preen
-- Nanaea
For "Wiccan Pride":
Caprice Wind
For "Pagan Pride":
Piper Dagan
Padraig Pen
For "Satanist Pride":
Astrid Sapient
Tristian Spade
Destini Sparta
Dantae Spirits
Danita Sprites
For "Redneck Pride":
Dedrick Preen
-- Nanaea
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"Anagrammatist Pride" =
I am an adept grim star
Gas-marinated armpit
Mean artist paradigm
Radiant mega-armpits
Radiant megastar imp
I am a pit grandmaster
Satan merit paradigm
Pragmatist marinade
I am an adept grim star
Gas-marinated armpit
Mean artist paradigm
Radiant mega-armpits
Radiant megastar imp
I am a pit grandmaster
Satan merit paradigm
Pragmatist marinade
1
I wouldn't know what those "certain disgusting sexual proclivities" of gay movie reviewers might be. I'm trying very hard to imagine them, though, and how they might possibly differ from the sexual proclivities of those nice heterosexual movie reviewers who spent HOURS freeze-framing clips from *Who Framed Roger Rabbit* in order to reveal to the general public the fact that one can actually catch a glimpse of an animated Jessica Rabbit's toon genitalia. Personally, I think the gay folks must have more interesting lives...
Tried watching *American Beauty* and found it more self-indulgent than actually witty. Didn't get more than perhaps a half-hour into the movie before giving up on it.
Haven't seen *The Mummy Returns* yet. Loved the first one, *The Mummy* -- and especially loved actor John Hannah in his role as heroine's clueless brother in that movie. I understand he's back in the *The Mummy Returns*, which must be at least one plus on that movie's side.
What I'm really waiting for is *Shadow of the Vampire* to come out on DVD.
Oh, and *Charlie's Angels* rocked. :)
-- Nanaea
Tried watching *American Beauty* and found it more self-indulgent than actually witty. Didn't get more than perhaps a half-hour into the movie before giving up on it.
Haven't seen *The Mummy Returns* yet. Loved the first one, *The Mummy* -- and especially loved actor John Hannah in his role as heroine's clueless brother in that movie. I understand he's back in the *The Mummy Returns*, which must be at least one plus on that movie's side.
What I'm really waiting for is *Shadow of the Vampire* to come out on DVD.
Oh, and *Charlie's Angels* rocked. :)
-- Nanaea
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Hehehehe! L.I./Senator Hillary Hot Button time! Please don't make this SOOOO easy, Nan!
Do you think I really CARE about "disgusting sexual proclivities" between consenting adults? Tsk.
Is the Jessica Rabbit freeze-frame anywhere on the Net? : )
And, yes, I think you're right that "American Beauty" was a bit self-indulgent. But wasn't "self-indulgence" the whole motivating force of Spacey's character? That aside, trust me, Nan, this new "Mummy" movie IS high-teck dreck.
Do you think I really CARE about "disgusting sexual proclivities" between consenting adults? Tsk.
Is the Jessica Rabbit freeze-frame anywhere on the Net? : )
And, yes, I think you're right that "American Beauty" was a bit self-indulgent. But wasn't "self-indulgence" the whole motivating force of Spacey's character? That aside, trust me, Nan, this new "Mummy" movie IS high-teck dreck.
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"Hehehehe! L.I./Senator Hillary Hot Button time! Please don't make this SOOOO easy, Nan!"
@@@@ Ain't nobody touchin' MY buttons! Well, 'cept John, maybe. ;)
"Do you think I really CARE about 'disgusting sexual proclivities' between consenting adults? Tsk."
@@@@ Well... I figured that maybe you might know something I don't, to be callin' 'em "disgusting". :) Eh, that's okay if you don't wanna spill -- Selwyn wouldn't tell me, either. ;)
"Is the Jessica Rabbit freeze-frame anywhere on the Net? : )"
@@@@ I wouldn't know that, Daividh. ;) Actually, the controversial scene that those wacky and rebellious animators put in is supposed to be viewable only from the laser disc version -- the *first* edition laser disc version, mind you. Disney supposedly "fixed" the subsequent version. BTW, I have that laser disc, and I understand it's worth big bucks among certain collectors. I may yet flog it on E-Bay someday. :)
"And, yes, I think you're right that "American Beauty" was a bit self-indulgent. But wasn't "self-indulgence" the whole motivating force of Spacey's character?"
@@@@ Eh, I may give that movie another try sometime. Right now I'm on a retro kick. Just bought the new DVD release of the old Liz Taylor *Cleopatra*. It's a hoot! :) And if you want a good recommendation for another old movie, try *The Big Country* on DVD. I swear, I'm willing to say that must be the best western ever made.
"That aside, trust me, Nan, this new "Mummy" movie IS high-teck dreck."
@@@@ I'll take your word for it. I've been hearing similar stuff, as well. From my gay friends! Hahahahaha!
-- Nanaea
@@@@ Ain't nobody touchin' MY buttons! Well, 'cept John, maybe. ;)
"Do you think I really CARE about 'disgusting sexual proclivities' between consenting adults? Tsk."
@@@@ Well... I figured that maybe you might know something I don't, to be callin' 'em "disgusting". :) Eh, that's okay if you don't wanna spill -- Selwyn wouldn't tell me, either. ;)
"Is the Jessica Rabbit freeze-frame anywhere on the Net? : )"
@@@@ I wouldn't know that, Daividh. ;) Actually, the controversial scene that those wacky and rebellious animators put in is supposed to be viewable only from the laser disc version -- the *first* edition laser disc version, mind you. Disney supposedly "fixed" the subsequent version. BTW, I have that laser disc, and I understand it's worth big bucks among certain collectors. I may yet flog it on E-Bay someday. :)
"And, yes, I think you're right that "American Beauty" was a bit self-indulgent. But wasn't "self-indulgence" the whole motivating force of Spacey's character?"
@@@@ Eh, I may give that movie another try sometime. Right now I'm on a retro kick. Just bought the new DVD release of the old Liz Taylor *Cleopatra*. It's a hoot! :) And if you want a good recommendation for another old movie, try *The Big Country* on DVD. I swear, I'm willing to say that must be the best western ever made.
"That aside, trust me, Nan, this new "Mummy" movie IS high-teck dreck."
@@@@ I'll take your word for it. I've been hearing similar stuff, as well. From my gay friends! Hahahahaha!
-- Nanaea
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Saw "Enemy at the Gate" last weekend. Probably the best European war film I've ever seen. See it guys. Looking forward to see the director's cut Exorcist :)
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When it comes to action movies Michelle Yeoh rules!
As most know she held a role in the recent "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon" and featured as well in the James Bond film "Tomorrow Never Dies" from 1997, not to mention "The Tai Chi Master" (aka The Twin Warriors). She is so cool !
The link to the official "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon" webpage:
www.crouchingtiger.com/
As most know she held a role in the recent "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon" and featured as well in the James Bond film "Tomorrow Never Dies" from 1997, not to mention "The Tai Chi Master" (aka The Twin Warriors). She is so cool !
The link to the official "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon" webpage:
www.crouchingtiger.com/
1