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ArchivesRe: Caleb
in reply to a message by Donna
Well, it is very likely that his name does indeed mean 'dog'. Dogs are nothing to be ashamed of. They are loyal, intelligent, friendly, brave and patient, and really could be role models for most humans. If he were my grandson, I would teach him to appreciate dogs, and also techniques for dealing with other children's ideas of a joke: they must have been delighted when he left the school rather than, for instance, tell them good information about dogs, pretend to wag his tail and sit up and beg, make a game out of choosing which animal they'd rather be or which breed of dog they like best ...
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I have to agree. Learning to deal with bullies is far more important here.
So Caleb might not mean dog (though it also might, but let's assume it does not), running from the bullies and learning the (yes important) lesson that they were wrong, but this does not mean it will be the outcome of every scenario. Getting bullied for red hair? Wearing glasses? Braces? Being a different colour? There are many, many superficial things children bully each other for
I was called Casper because of my pale complexion. Jokes on them, I LOVED Casper! ...but it still kinda hurt that I was being rejected in the first place. It was never about what they were saying, because I like my skin colour, and hair (I was bullied for that too), and height (again, bullied for) and voice (same again) it was the rejection. Teach him that these children aren't worth striving for in terms of friendship anyway, that maybe it's a good thing they easily out themselves as the bad kids. He now knows who to avoid.
I think you need to sit him down and explain to him that some children find it fun to pick one insignificant aspect of other's and mock them for it. It does not mean it's wrong or weird to have the name Caleb or to need glasses or to have a very pale complexion. He needs to understand that sometimes nothing can be done about it, and it happens to everybody. Perhaps share stories of when you were picked on in school or his parents, cousins, aunties and uncles etc. It'll help him to understand that these kids would have chosen something else to bully him for anyway, and it literally could be anything, and he won't be their only victim neither so he isn't alone
Unfortunately kids have to be told that bullying extends into adulthood if you let it, so it's best to learn how to deal with it now
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Also teach him that people change and grow over time so perhaps to not hold it against them too much if they ever re-meet in high school, but one thing at a time
So Caleb might not mean dog (though it also might, but let's assume it does not), running from the bullies and learning the (yes important) lesson that they were wrong, but this does not mean it will be the outcome of every scenario. Getting bullied for red hair? Wearing glasses? Braces? Being a different colour? There are many, many superficial things children bully each other for
I was called Casper because of my pale complexion. Jokes on them, I LOVED Casper! ...but it still kinda hurt that I was being rejected in the first place. It was never about what they were saying, because I like my skin colour, and hair (I was bullied for that too), and height (again, bullied for) and voice (same again) it was the rejection. Teach him that these children aren't worth striving for in terms of friendship anyway, that maybe it's a good thing they easily out themselves as the bad kids. He now knows who to avoid.
I think you need to sit him down and explain to him that some children find it fun to pick one insignificant aspect of other's and mock them for it. It does not mean it's wrong or weird to have the name Caleb or to need glasses or to have a very pale complexion. He needs to understand that sometimes nothing can be done about it, and it happens to everybody. Perhaps share stories of when you were picked on in school or his parents, cousins, aunties and uncles etc. It'll help him to understand that these kids would have chosen something else to bully him for anyway, and it literally could be anything, and he won't be their only victim neither so he isn't alone
Unfortunately kids have to be told that bullying extends into adulthood if you let it, so it's best to learn how to deal with it now
---
Also teach him that people change and grow over time so perhaps to not hold it against them too much if they ever re-meet in high school, but one thing at a time
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