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You don't know the half of it....
Not only that, but her clothes are hand woven from salal leaves and she generates the power for her computer from sea lion guano. The tiny Tofutti library is no secret, but how did you find out about the cat food?
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I just assumed from my own Mom's situation (she prefers the Purina One Salmon & Tuna to the smellier canned stuff). But like in the old Dilbert cartoon, we gave her an Etch-A-Sketch and TOLD her it was a Pentium 4.
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Heh heh......and we gave Mike our rusty old Eagle Vista and TOLD him it was a stretched SUV.
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LOL! He be chillin' in a corroded Mitsubishi mini-van...er, stretch Escalade
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