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HelpA friend's daughter
A friend of mine just uploaded a picture of her daugther to put on her website. While I advised against it (there are some real weirdos out there on the internet) I decided to take advantage of my friend's stubborness to ask a quick question.
http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/8684/2wi2.jpg
She is half Vietnamese and Half French . . . her mother (the French parent) had wanted to give her a Vietnamese name, because she thought it would be exotic. However, once the child was born the parents decided against the Vietnamese name and opted for a more western alternative.
So here's what I'm curious about:
Do you think this little looks Asian enough to have been given a Vietnamese name? IMO she is Asian enough to have the name because she is Vietnamese -- she doens't necessarily have to look it to a vast degree . . . but what do you think?
BTW: her name is Zoe. Had she been given the Vietnamese name, she would have been Mai.
http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/8684/2wi2.jpg
She is half Vietnamese and Half French . . . her mother (the French parent) had wanted to give her a Vietnamese name, because she thought it would be exotic. However, once the child was born the parents decided against the Vietnamese name and opted for a more western alternative.
So here's what I'm curious about:
Do you think this little looks Asian enough to have been given a Vietnamese name? IMO she is Asian enough to have the name because she is Vietnamese -- she doens't necessarily have to look it to a vast degree . . . but what do you think?
BTW: her name is Zoe. Had she been given the Vietnamese name, she would have been Mai.
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Replies
I like both!
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one more note. . .
Quoted from my response to Sabrina:
I just think that it was wrong of them to deny the girl a piece of her culture because she didn't look the part. While I don't think that one's heritage should alienate them from the right to use certain names, the parents obviously felt like she had to be Vietnamese to merit an ethnic name . . . therefore, shouldn't the fact that she was Vietnamese have been enough for them, regardless of how she looks! I would very much like to find someone who doesn't think she should have the name based on looks, though . . .I don't really want to offend the parents by asking their reasoning, so I'd like to talk to a similar thinking person about it ^_^
Quoted from my response to Sabrina:
I just think that it was wrong of them to deny the girl a piece of her culture because she didn't look the part. While I don't think that one's heritage should alienate them from the right to use certain names, the parents obviously felt like she had to be Vietnamese to merit an ethnic name . . . therefore, shouldn't the fact that she was Vietnamese have been enough for them, regardless of how she looks! I would very much like to find someone who doesn't think she should have the name based on looks, though . . .I don't really want to offend the parents by asking their reasoning, so I'd like to talk to a similar thinking person about it ^_^
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Elaborating on my post. . .
It is not my opinion that someone's looks should determine the way they are named. However, this little girl's mother decided at the last minute that she wouldn't give her a Vietnamese name because she didn't look "Vietnamese" enough.
I am of the opinion that, since she is part Vietnamese and therefore part of the culture she is, by default, "Asian" enough for the name . . . I have absolutely no qualms with giving a non ethnic child an ethnic name (so long as the parents put the effort into learning at least a little about the culture), but her parents were bothered by the fact that she would not look the part.
Also, I meat to type
IMO she is Asian enough to have the name because she is part Vietnamese -- she doens't necessarily have to look it to a vast degree
either way, what I meant was that she doesn't have to look like a stereotypical member of her culture to deserve a name from it . . . because she is even a tiny fraction Vietnamese it shouldn't have bothered her parents at all.
I'm sorry if I offended anyone with my poor wording of my original post ~_~
It is not my opinion that someone's looks should determine the way they are named. However, this little girl's mother decided at the last minute that she wouldn't give her a Vietnamese name because she didn't look "Vietnamese" enough.
I am of the opinion that, since she is part Vietnamese and therefore part of the culture she is, by default, "Asian" enough for the name . . . I have absolutely no qualms with giving a non ethnic child an ethnic name (so long as the parents put the effort into learning at least a little about the culture), but her parents were bothered by the fact that she would not look the part.
Also, I meat to type
IMO she is Asian enough to have the name because she is part Vietnamese -- she doens't necessarily have to look it to a vast degree
either way, what I meant was that she doesn't have to look like a stereotypical member of her culture to deserve a name from it . . . because she is even a tiny fraction Vietnamese it shouldn't have bothered her parents at all.
I'm sorry if I offended anyone with my poor wording of my original post ~_~
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Warning: Rant ahead
Don't take this personally, kizuko, but you've hit on a touchy subject, and I find your wording particularly poor.
Do you think this little looks Asian enough to have been given a Vietnamese name? IMO she is Asian enough to have the name because she is Vietnamese
That is a ridiculous way to look at naming. People don't necessarily need to have the background of their names. Do you think half of the little Aidans running around in America right now are anything close to Irish? No, but most people didn't get riled up about it. Why should it be any different if a little Mai doesn't, heaven help us, "look" Asian. Oh, and I'm glad you think Vietnamese is "Asian enough."
In my opinion, this lovely little girl could be named Zoe or Vittoria or Mai or Mercedes or Inanna or Siobhan or Mnemosyne or even Nevaeh or whatever. I may not necessarily like a name, but I would never tell someone not to use it because that person isn't from the same culture as the name. If the name means something to the parents, who cares? Should a Nebraskan born Caucasian not name her daughter Mai because they're not "Asian enough?" What if that Nebraska native graduated from a university with a degree in Asian civilizations, lived in China for a few years, and then returned to Nebraska before having her kids? Or what is she just thinks Akemi is a beautiful name? Who cares whether or not she's Asian!
I was just commenting to a friend the other day how no one thinks twice about a non-Italian using Alessandra or the like, but then, someone wants to use Mercedes, and we hear that it's too Spanish sounding for a white person. This attitude has really been bothering me lately, and I think it's deeper rooted than names. I hope the people who think this way get over it because we live in a global world, and they sound ridiculously close-minded.
//Soapbox. Sorry.
Edited for structure
Don't take this personally, kizuko, but you've hit on a touchy subject, and I find your wording particularly poor.
Do you think this little looks Asian enough to have been given a Vietnamese name? IMO she is Asian enough to have the name because she is Vietnamese
That is a ridiculous way to look at naming. People don't necessarily need to have the background of their names. Do you think half of the little Aidans running around in America right now are anything close to Irish? No, but most people didn't get riled up about it. Why should it be any different if a little Mai doesn't, heaven help us, "look" Asian. Oh, and I'm glad you think Vietnamese is "Asian enough."
In my opinion, this lovely little girl could be named Zoe or Vittoria or Mai or Mercedes or Inanna or Siobhan or Mnemosyne or even Nevaeh or whatever. I may not necessarily like a name, but I would never tell someone not to use it because that person isn't from the same culture as the name. If the name means something to the parents, who cares? Should a Nebraskan born Caucasian not name her daughter Mai because they're not "Asian enough?" What if that Nebraska native graduated from a university with a degree in Asian civilizations, lived in China for a few years, and then returned to Nebraska before having her kids? Or what is she just thinks Akemi is a beautiful name? Who cares whether or not she's Asian!
I was just commenting to a friend the other day how no one thinks twice about a non-Italian using Alessandra or the like, but then, someone wants to use Mercedes, and we hear that it's too Spanish sounding for a white person. This attitude has really been bothering me lately, and I think it's deeper rooted than names. I hope the people who think this way get over it because we live in a global world, and they sound ridiculously close-minded.
//Soapbox. Sorry.
Edited for structure
This message was edited 1/5/2007, 1:07 AM
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Well said Cora!!!!!
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Is it even necessary for me to say "Ditto"? ;-)
As someone who spent her teen years in love with Japanese names, this is a bit of racism that bothers me immensely. All names are up for grabs...provided they have a Western European origin or from an ethnicity you clearly share?
I don't think so. If I want to use Ruxandra, or Shoshana, or Hanako, I have every right to do so--even if I'm not Romanian, Jewish, or Japanese. If I respect the culture and use appropriate names (the difference between Winona and Dakota), then I see no reason why they should be off-limits, even if my child would happen to be of predominantly German and Norwegian origin.
Array (still thinks Mercedes shouldn't even come into the picture, since it has never been an exclusively Spanish name)
As someone who spent her teen years in love with Japanese names, this is a bit of racism that bothers me immensely. All names are up for grabs...provided they have a Western European origin or from an ethnicity you clearly share?
I don't think so. If I want to use Ruxandra, or Shoshana, or Hanako, I have every right to do so--even if I'm not Romanian, Jewish, or Japanese. If I respect the culture and use appropriate names (the difference between Winona and Dakota), then I see no reason why they should be off-limits, even if my child would happen to be of predominantly German and Norwegian origin.
Array (still thinks Mercedes shouldn't even come into the picture, since it has never been an exclusively Spanish name)
This message was edited 1/5/2007, 7:47 AM
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I'll say it: Ditto!
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^_^
Thank you! That was the question I was asking . . . if you would have thought twice upon meeting this little girl if her name was "Mai". Her mother and father, bless their souls, thought she didn't look the part, while I thought that -- simply by virtue of the fact that she is a member of the culture -- she has every right to have the name, whether she looks the part or not.
I didn't mean to say that a person of Vietnamese descent is Asian enough to have an Asian name -- I meant that she is part Vietnamese so, by default, there is aboslutely nothing wrong with giving her a Vietnamese name (actually, I guess I mistyped because I did mean to write "part Vietnamese" to begin with . . . but I wasn't logged in so I can't fix it now ~_~).
Thank you! That was the question I was asking . . . if you would have thought twice upon meeting this little girl if her name was "Mai". Her mother and father, bless their souls, thought she didn't look the part, while I thought that -- simply by virtue of the fact that she is a member of the culture -- she has every right to have the name, whether she looks the part or not.
I didn't mean to say that a person of Vietnamese descent is Asian enough to have an Asian name -- I meant that she is part Vietnamese so, by default, there is aboslutely nothing wrong with giving her a Vietnamese name (actually, I guess I mistyped because I did mean to write "part Vietnamese" to begin with . . . but I wasn't logged in so I can't fix it now ~_~).
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Re:
I meant that she is part Vietnamese so, by default, there is aboslutely nothing wrong with giving her a Vietnamese name
The part that I find fault with is that you think her looks don't matter because she is Asian. My point is that people seem to think it's wrong if she were neither Asian nor looked the part. A half French/half Slovak person living in Alaska should be able to be named Mai without people thinking twice.
Edited because the face looks weird as a link with the underline through it. :)
I meant that she is part Vietnamese so, by default, there is aboslutely nothing wrong with giving her a Vietnamese name
The part that I find fault with is that you think her looks don't matter because she is Asian. My point is that people seem to think it's wrong if she were neither Asian nor looked the part. A half French/half Slovak person living in Alaska should be able to be named Mai without people thinking twice.
Edited because the face looks weird as a link with the underline through it. :)
This message was edited 1/5/2007, 1:18 AM
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Phew . . . here's where we agree
As do I. However, her parents were bothered by the idea of naming a non-ethnic-looking child an ethnic name, which is what I was curious about -- if anyone else thought the child, despite looking Caucasian in the parents opinion, did not look ethnic enough to be given an ethnic name.
I don't think that an individual has to be a member of a specific creed or culture to have the right to a name . . . but my point is that it shouldn't have bothered her parents in the least because she is a member of that culture and, therefore, has a right to be named thusly regardless of whether or not she looks it. The way a phrased the statement was meant to punctuate the fact that, even though the parents obviously think that one has to be a member of a culture to have a name from said culture, the simple fact that she is a member of the culture should have been enough for them without her appearance factoring into it.
As do I. However, her parents were bothered by the idea of naming a non-ethnic-looking child an ethnic name, which is what I was curious about -- if anyone else thought the child, despite looking Caucasian in the parents opinion, did not look ethnic enough to be given an ethnic name.
I don't think that an individual has to be a member of a specific creed or culture to have the right to a name . . . but my point is that it shouldn't have bothered her parents in the least because she is a member of that culture and, therefore, has a right to be named thusly regardless of whether or not she looks it. The way a phrased the statement was meant to punctuate the fact that, even though the parents obviously think that one has to be a member of a culture to have a name from said culture, the simple fact that she is a member of the culture should have been enough for them without her appearance factoring into it.
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Good job of straightening things out without anyone getting rude :-)
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I see.
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I wish I had taken more time to word my post . . . I hope you don't think poorly of me now
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I am strongly against how a child looks determining whether or not they are given a name that reflects their heritage. I am half middle-eastern--although people rarely guess my ethnicity correctly (I mostly get spanish, portuguese, and italian, funny enough)--but that doesn't mean my parents shouldn't have given me a name that reflects my heritage.
I highly prefer Mai to Zoe. I think her parents would have made the right decision to go with a name that honors her Vietnamese heritage, or at the very least they could have gone with a French name.
I highly prefer Mai to Zoe. I think her parents would have made the right decision to go with a name that honors her Vietnamese heritage, or at the very least they could have gone with a French name.
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As do I ^_^ I think Mai is a gorgeous name . . . though I'm kinda glad they didn't use it because now I can use it for my daugther without feeling guilty
I just think that it was wrong of them to deny the girl a piece of her culture because she didn't look the part. While I don't think that one's heritage should alienate them from the right to use certain names, the parents obviously felt like she had to be Vietnamese to merit an ethnic name . . . therefore, shouldn't the fact that she was Vietnamese have been enough for them, regardless of how she looks! I would very much like to find someone who doesn't think she should have the name based on looks, though . . .I don't really want to offend the parents by asking their reasoning, so I'd like to talk to a similar thinking person about it ^_^
I just think that it was wrong of them to deny the girl a piece of her culture because she didn't look the part. While I don't think that one's heritage should alienate them from the right to use certain names, the parents obviously felt like she had to be Vietnamese to merit an ethnic name . . . therefore, shouldn't the fact that she was Vietnamese have been enough for them, regardless of how she looks! I would very much like to find someone who doesn't think she should have the name based on looks, though . . .I don't really want to offend the parents by asking their reasoning, so I'd like to talk to a similar thinking person about it ^_^
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