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HelpGood Natured PSA
I hope this doesn't come off the wrong way, but I've noticed an influx of people feigning pregnancy to talk about names in the forum again. This happens off and on, obviously, but I thought I would leave a little note for those who might need to hear it. For those unaware: you do not have to be expecting a child to use the forum :) This is not exclusively a baby name site. Most of the users are not currently expecting a child and genuinely like talking about names just for the sake of it.
You do not have to be pregnant to ask about names. You do not need to feign pregnancy to ask about name combos. You do not have to be a parent or soon-to-be parent to talk about your favorite name ideas. Most people on here are not currently expecting a baby and are totally open to talking about names without literal usage on a child.
I dare not speak for all users, but for me personally, I am actually somewhat put off by fictional pregnancy posts and feel less willing to engage with them and give them my opinions. The false pretense doesn't sit right with me. It's totally okay to just say "I want to ask about these names". It's okay to even say, "I would theoretically use this on a child someday," but making up a pregnancy isn't necessary to elicit conversation with people, especially when the "pregnancy" lasts one year, two years, or even more.
I don't mean this as an attack by any means. I think, on some level, it might even be fun for some users to pretend to be pregnant. Like when you are little and playing with dolls and pretending to be a mom or dad. When I was a teenager, I would sometimes pretend to be an expectant mom on a baby name site because I thought it would be weird for me to use the site as a 14-year-old without a baby. I felt it was inappropriate to engage in name discussions somehow given that circumstance, but I know differently now that name discussion and enjoyment do not have to be the exclusive hobby of the expectant. It is a valid interest for anyone to enjoy! So enjoy the hobby, and know it is safe and valid to like names outside of the traditional conventions. You Are Okay! :)
That is all. Happy Name Talks! Have a good day wherever you are! :)
Please rate my "Names I would Use" list & "Backup Favorites" list. Feel free to rate some of my other lists too if you have the time.
https://www.behindthename.com/pnl/223226/138473
You do not have to be pregnant to ask about names. You do not need to feign pregnancy to ask about name combos. You do not have to be a parent or soon-to-be parent to talk about your favorite name ideas. Most people on here are not currently expecting a baby and are totally open to talking about names without literal usage on a child.
I dare not speak for all users, but for me personally, I am actually somewhat put off by fictional pregnancy posts and feel less willing to engage with them and give them my opinions. The false pretense doesn't sit right with me. It's totally okay to just say "I want to ask about these names". It's okay to even say, "I would theoretically use this on a child someday," but making up a pregnancy isn't necessary to elicit conversation with people, especially when the "pregnancy" lasts one year, two years, or even more.
I don't mean this as an attack by any means. I think, on some level, it might even be fun for some users to pretend to be pregnant. Like when you are little and playing with dolls and pretending to be a mom or dad. When I was a teenager, I would sometimes pretend to be an expectant mom on a baby name site because I thought it would be weird for me to use the site as a 14-year-old without a baby. I felt it was inappropriate to engage in name discussions somehow given that circumstance, but I know differently now that name discussion and enjoyment do not have to be the exclusive hobby of the expectant. It is a valid interest for anyone to enjoy! So enjoy the hobby, and know it is safe and valid to like names outside of the traditional conventions. You Are Okay! :)
That is all. Happy Name Talks! Have a good day wherever you are! :)
Please rate my "Names I would Use" list & "Backup Favorites" list. Feel free to rate some of my other lists too if you have the time.
https://www.behindthename.com/pnl/223226/138473
Replies
I agree!
Thank you for sharing this Diana. I think 12 and 13 year old me could've appreciated hearing this message. We do always say this is NOT a baby name website lol.
Trouble is, the twelve and thirteen year olds who do this never react well when they're told this, even nicely.
You're not wrong, but in my opinion i don't think all kids will be that hostile to a gentle reminder. If they do, they just shouldn't be here.
right, well I thought I would just put a recent note because I thought some of the newer or more casual users might not know that
I’m literally an aroace with a special interest in names, and I started using this website when I was 9, so I’m the epitome of “you don’t need an interest in kids to talk about names.”
This message was edited 8/5/2024, 4:39 PM
hey tbh these days even aroace can still become parents if they want. A woman I met in undergrad said she was aroace and she has a little boy via IUI. (Not saying you should run out and get fertility treatments tomorrow though, lol, I'm just throwing that out there *shrug*)
What’s IUI?
It's a type of artificial insemination. A person goes to the doctor's office and receives a sample from a man and has it directly put into their uterus, medically, by a doctor.
This message was edited 8/6/2024, 9:57 AM
It is nice to know I’m not the only kid with an insane interest in names :)
Hehe, I’m 21 now. It’s not going away anytime soon!
I agree. I won’t have kids for probably at least 20 years, but I still like to talk about what names I like. I know on the Helen page I said that if I ever had a daughter, I would name her that. I didn’t need to pretend I had a kid, I could just say how much I liked the name.
Absolutely. I always respect posters who say straight out that they aren't pregnant, just playing games, and what do we think they should name quadruplets when their 'existing' fantasy children are Valeria and Archibald ... fun is fun; pretence isn't.
Thank you for that lovely speech. I too think sometimes it gets a little weird with the amount of fake "surprise" Birth Announcements that happen within two weeks of asking for opinions on the name. I love helping people figuring out their naming styles and what they like and don't like for all sorts of reasons. Writers need help a lot of time and that's coming from an aspiring author. Just be you and you'll find most of us if not all are happy to engage and support you.