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HelpRe: Jay, as a feminine name (and variants)
in reply to a message by erb816
An aunt of my mother was called Jay (who I think died in the 1960s or 70s).
I think her birth certificate said Jessie, but she went by Jay, at least as an adult, to everybody. Spelled Jay.
So I've always thought of it as unisex. I'm not sure whether I first heard the name for a guy, or the name of my relative. But Aunt Jay is the only female Jay I've ever encountered. I think that's why I prefer it on guys - I've learned to expect a guy, and so I figure others expect a guy. That makes it seem not feminine enough - when I'm thinking about it in the abstract, with no sexed person bearing it.
But if I met a female Jay I'd probably think it was just great. I mean, Jo is like that ... I tend to hear "Joe" and imagine Joe, a guy, because I've seen that more often. But if the context indicates Jo, a gal, then it seems feminine. Same with many names ... they seem gendered according to the sex of the person bearing them, regardless of what the most common or expected gender is. Lynn, Kim, Sam ...
Jaye looks overdone to me, but it's alright if you really want to make the gender clear from the spelling. It's not half as bad as Faye imo.
- mirfak
I think her birth certificate said Jessie, but she went by Jay, at least as an adult, to everybody. Spelled Jay.
So I've always thought of it as unisex. I'm not sure whether I first heard the name for a guy, or the name of my relative. But Aunt Jay is the only female Jay I've ever encountered. I think that's why I prefer it on guys - I've learned to expect a guy, and so I figure others expect a guy. That makes it seem not feminine enough - when I'm thinking about it in the abstract, with no sexed person bearing it.
But if I met a female Jay I'd probably think it was just great. I mean, Jo is like that ... I tend to hear "Joe" and imagine Joe, a guy, because I've seen that more often. But if the context indicates Jo, a gal, then it seems feminine. Same with many names ... they seem gendered according to the sex of the person bearing them, regardless of what the most common or expected gender is. Lynn, Kim, Sam ...
Jaye looks overdone to me, but it's alright if you really want to make the gender clear from the spelling. It's not half as bad as Faye imo.
- mirfak
This message was edited 7/25/2023, 12:14 AM
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