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I see Lurline (or Lurlene, as I've usually encountered it) as sitting in her broken-down recliner in her robe and curlers, all 300 pounds of her, watching one of the shopping channels and eating ice cream straight from the gallon carton and a whole bag of Cheetos at a time.

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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you criticize him, you're a mile away and you have his shoes!
Steve Martin