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A friend of ours has a son, who's now grown, whose real name is Joshua. He introduces himself as Josh, but his family and most of his friends have always called him Monkey, because when he was a baby, instead of crawling on his hands and knees, he went on his hands and feet.

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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you criticize him, you're a mile away and you have his shoes!
Steve Martin