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HelpNo nickname preferred
How do you feel about using the full form of names that usually get nicknames?
Examples:
Katherine NOT Kate / Kathy
Elizabeth NOT Liz / Betty / Beth / etc.
David NOT Dave
-cayden
Hike more, worry less.
Examples:
Katherine NOT Kate / Kathy
Elizabeth NOT Liz / Betty / Beth / etc.
David NOT Dave
-cayden
Hike more, worry less.
Archived Thread - replies disabled
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Replies
That's often the usual situation for Dutch people. I wouldn't start calling Thomas "Tom", unless of course he'd ask me or if he'd have introduced himself as Tom, and I would have only later found out that it's a nickname for Thomas.
Also, using 3 syllable names without a nickname is common enough for people not to start bullshitting about a name being too long, bc they can't be bothered to take the extra effort of saying an 'extra' syllable.
A 4 syllable name might get shortened if there's a very obvious alternative (ie. Alexander "Alex"), but I wouldn't start calling a guy Alex unless I know it's okay. I feel surprisingly normal actually about using the full form of a name.
Also, using 3 syllable names without a nickname is common enough for people not to start bullshitting about a name being too long, bc they can't be bothered to take the extra effort of saying an 'extra' syllable.
A 4 syllable name might get shortened if there's a very obvious alternative (ie. Alexander "Alex"), but I wouldn't start calling a guy Alex unless I know it's okay. I feel surprisingly normal actually about using the full form of a name.
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It kind of depends on the name. A very few names are almost droll when people insist on the full name. Maximilian comes to mind. James, even, a little bit. Most common ones aren't like that, though. I've known Charles, Alessandra, Victoria, Elizabeth, Catherine, Rebecca, Eleanor, Kimberly, Kathleen, Christina, Richard, David, Matthew, Stephen, Michael, Robert, William ... tons and tons of people going by full names only. It's not a big deal at all.
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I don't know anyone that chooses a name and hates it and therefore only uses the nickname. Most nicknames occur whether the namer prefers them or not. So whether I feel Elizabeth should go by Elizabeth and not Liza isn't really up to me, the namer. Its up to the person bearing the name whether they want to go with the original or a nickname and whether they accept the nicknames their friends give them.
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Love
There are many, many names, especially the classics, I prefer in full form. Alexander, Nicholas, James, David, Kathryn, Andrew, Anthony, Daniel, Samuel...the list goes on and on. Actually, my favorite name is Edmund but since I loathe Ed, I could never use it. Not as a first name anyway.
Maybe the nn's are overused and it's so rare to hear someone use their full name when a shorten version is common. I do like nn's but not for all names.
There are many, many names, especially the classics, I prefer in full form. Alexander, Nicholas, James, David, Kathryn, Andrew, Anthony, Daniel, Samuel...the list goes on and on. Actually, my favorite name is Edmund but since I loathe Ed, I could never use it. Not as a first name anyway.
Maybe the nn's are overused and it's so rare to hear someone use their full name when a shorten version is common. I do like nn's but not for all names.
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My in-laws don't use nicknames
My husband's siblings:
Elizabeth
Damian
Katherine
Mary
Anthony
Christopher
My husband is Alexander but goes by Xander. His siblings have continued the no nickname rule. And they are obnoxious with it, continually correcting people. My husband isn't a fan of Alex but he will let it slide - no one else will.
Constant, non-stop corrections. I don't like nicknames for the most part and therefore chose Miriam because there isn't an obvious nickname.
My husband's siblings:
Elizabeth
Damian
Katherine
Mary
Anthony
Christopher
My husband is Alexander but goes by Xander. His siblings have continued the no nickname rule. And they are obnoxious with it, continually correcting people. My husband isn't a fan of Alex but he will let it slide - no one else will.
Constant, non-stop corrections. I don't like nicknames for the most part and therefore chose Miriam because there isn't an obvious nickname.
This message was edited 8/19/2018, 2:40 PM
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The three Miriams that I've known besides your M in my life have all been Mim or Mimi, especially around family. I think Miriam is at the very least the kind of name where there isn't such a familiar nickname that it can almost be seen as a "stand in" for the full name. Like plenty of people go by "Alex" in all contexts of their life. It isn't seen as a super familiar kind of nickname. My entire family call me Lisey or Lissy but I'd never introduce myself to anyone by that. I have friends who call me that too but again, because it's not a more common nickname, it would seem "too familiar" coming from anyone else.
I don't know if that makes sense but it's how I think of Miriam. The first name is so uncommon that there isn't a clear "go to" nickname that feels everyday enough for a stranger to just jump to and use.
I don't know if that makes sense but it's how I think of Miriam. The first name is so uncommon that there isn't a clear "go to" nickname that feels everyday enough for a stranger to just jump to and use.
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I think I mentioned it just because I have heard it be used before, and it is the first half of the name. Maybe it's not used so much, in other places.
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I'm pretty sure that she would get Miri if I lived in DC.
Miri seems to be a Jewish nickname, there is a very tiny Jewish population here as opposed to other places. Putz is a surname in the area and Alexander had no idea why I couldn't stop laughing when I saw it - he was totally unfamiliar with the Yiddish insult.
Interesting enough my first encounter with Miriam was a Miriam nicknamed Miri. I fell in love with the name right then, although I didn't think I'd ever use it.
Miri seems to be a Jewish nickname, there is a very tiny Jewish population here as opposed to other places. Putz is a surname in the area and Alexander had no idea why I couldn't stop laughing when I saw it - he was totally unfamiliar with the Yiddish insult.
Interesting enough my first encounter with Miriam was a Miriam nicknamed Miri. I fell in love with the name right then, although I didn't think I'd ever use it.
This message was edited 8/20/2018, 8:29 PM
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What about Miri?
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Yup, for the auto-shortener, Miri is going to be an obvious choice. I had a Mirrie in my family who hated it all her life but eventually just gave up correcting people. She's the reason why both my sister and a cousin decided against Miriam as a name for their daughters
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Where do you live? I've never had anyone shorten my daughter's name to Miri. A few people tried with Mema and Mimi, but both faded quickly. I quickly put the kibosh on Mimi due to my mom.
I actually have come across several Miriam's and not a one uses the nickname Miri. In fact only one has a nickname and that's Mim
I actually have come across several Miriam's and not a one uses the nickname Miri. In fact only one has a nickname and that's Mim
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England
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No one has ever suggested it. I think one person might have suggested Mim, and another suggested Mimi. I actually wouldn't mind Mimi, however that's what the grandkids call my mom. Even with Miri, Mim or Mimi they aren't going to be the first thing that pops into a person's mind. It's not like Tim, Liz, Jen where the nickname shows itself in the first syllable.
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I really like it. I grew up with a longer name that was always shortened and for my entire childhood I went only by a nn. This caused me to never identify with my full name and I actually hated it for a long time because I only heard it when I was in trouble and my mom yelled at me. Now I go by my full name in most situations because I think my nn is dumb and childish and I'm a little upset that my parents started using it in the first place when I have a perfectly good full name.
I don't think parents should name their kid something if they then intend to only ever call them something else. I do like nns, but I like them used sparingly, when the full name is still used most of the time.
With names such as Katherine, Elizabeth, and David, which usually get nns whether the parent likes it or not, I think using the full forms can give them an entirely different personality that can be refreshing rather than just falling back on an overused nn.
I don't think parents should name their kid something if they then intend to only ever call them something else. I do like nns, but I like them used sparingly, when the full name is still used most of the time.
With names such as Katherine, Elizabeth, and David, which usually get nns whether the parent likes it or not, I think using the full forms can give them an entirely different personality that can be refreshing rather than just falling back on an overused nn.
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I think it seems pretentious, but admirable.
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I think this is not nearly as unusual as many on here seem to think. I've known a ton of Davids, but only a couple of them regularly went by Dave, for instance.
I do think that if the full name is very long, like Elizabeth or Alexander, a nn is much more likely to be used eventually, and that expecting everybody to always say the full four or five syllables is maybe not all that realistic.
So I'm fine with it, as long as the person with the name, or their parents, aren't obnoxious about insisting that the full name always be used. But I also think that after a certain point, a nn or no nn is kind of out of the parents' hands.
I do think that if the full name is very long, like Elizabeth or Alexander, a nn is much more likely to be used eventually, and that expecting everybody to always say the full four or five syllables is maybe not all that realistic.
So I'm fine with it, as long as the person with the name, or their parents, aren't obnoxious about insisting that the full name always be used. But I also think that after a certain point, a nn or no nn is kind of out of the parents' hands.
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I agree
There is truth that I hate being called "Barb" because I despise this particular short-form; however, I won't correct folks any longer. If someone calls me "Barb" - or more importantly, refers to me as Barb, I won't correct them, as I do not want to seem that self-conscious. If I "know what someone means" or "that the person refers, or is referring, to me, then I understand.
Same is true with grammar. If I understand the thought, I won't correct a Grammatical Error. That to me would seem snobbish, as though I were trying to show that I know something that another person does not, which is not so. I have difficulty seeing so I may commit more errors than I know. Also - I am trying to wean away from formal writing on this board. I hope folks will be patient with me - and forgive me from my own pretensions.
There is truth that I hate being called "Barb" because I despise this particular short-form; however, I won't correct folks any longer. If someone calls me "Barb" - or more importantly, refers to me as Barb, I won't correct them, as I do not want to seem that self-conscious. If I "know what someone means" or "that the person refers, or is referring, to me, then I understand.
Same is true with grammar. If I understand the thought, I won't correct a Grammatical Error. That to me would seem snobbish, as though I were trying to show that I know something that another person does not, which is not so. I have difficulty seeing so I may commit more errors than I know. Also - I am trying to wean away from formal writing on this board. I hope folks will be patient with me - and forgive me from my own pretensions.
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Do you feel uncomfortable about all possible nicknames, or just Barb? Which is a bit thorny and spikey! I've known Barbara people known as Bar, Babs, Barbie (while very young) and Bibi.
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Although I pass through phases on Barbie, yet simultaneously, I only want certain people to use this "childish" form; yet I am happy to use (Barbie) on specific occasions - including business. I'll even use / utilize this form sometimes when I feel punchy (if I should happen to meet new people). Still I consider this an affectionate form too.
Strangely, I am allowing my "weird side" to not only "step forward" but to "lead", more of late.
I am trying to like & use Babs--as though to introduce myself with this form, but I just can't; fearing the name will stick. Only one person has called me "Babs", which did not fare too well.
Strangely, I love Barbs - which to me is affectionate. Only one person called me this beyond "extremely close family members or specific friends" - and my hart nearly fell from my chest. She - a semi-goth-girl bartender, who never knew of my association, - where all other female bartenders knew me as Barbie. I can only image that she used "Barbs" to differentiate herself among her other colleagues.
Strangely, I am allowing my "weird side" to not only "step forward" but to "lead", more of late.
I am trying to like & use Babs--as though to introduce myself with this form, but I just can't; fearing the name will stick. Only one person has called me "Babs", which did not fare too well.
Strangely, I love Barbs - which to me is affectionate. Only one person called me this beyond "extremely close family members or specific friends" - and my hart nearly fell from my chest. She - a semi-goth-girl bartender, who never knew of my association, - where all other female bartenders knew me as Barbie. I can only image that she used "Barbs" to differentiate herself among her other colleagues.
This message was edited 8/22/2018, 5:51 PM
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I mentioned that not all men are comfortable with the feminine connotation associated with my name.
If it is unusual (to meet with) a male Barbra (Barbara), would it be more unusual still to meet with a male Barbie - at a business meeting; and would it be stranger still--and further, depreciatively atrocious, to question, or even reveal the subtlest notion of discomfort - even intrigue--within a group of adults in a professional or even governmental setting?
Would there be a white elephant in the room? (Why do I think of Ernest Hemingway?)
This is what I meant when I stated the following last month -
I mentioned this July 12 2018 comment on Perrine's July 10 "Jamie for both genders" query
"I've read articles (perhaps on BTN - I can't remember the source) about folks with names that end with the "ie" sound, whether spelled with a "y" or "ie" or however else, which mention that "studies" (I always doubt the accuracy of such results) indicate that folks with names which sound more formal fare better than those with "the more child-like" "ie" sound. That is partial reason that I like to use the "Barbie" name in professional settings. It creates a harmless anomaly so overt that it is almost ridiculous--but, far from ridicule, it is harmless & benign - therefore advantageous."
Not during a business meeting, but I met with a lady who approached me last fall--who I also happened to learn that her name is Barbara. She seemed of Asian descent - and I became pleased that we shared similar heritage; she seemed pleased too. She mentioned that she never uses Barbie.
If it is unusual (to meet with) a male Barbra (Barbara), would it be more unusual still to meet with a male Barbie - at a business meeting; and would it be stranger still--and further, depreciatively atrocious, to question, or even reveal the subtlest notion of discomfort - even intrigue--within a group of adults in a professional or even governmental setting?
Would there be a white elephant in the room? (Why do I think of Ernest Hemingway?)
This is what I meant when I stated the following last month -
I mentioned this July 12 2018 comment on Perrine's July 10 "Jamie for both genders" query
"I've read articles (perhaps on BTN - I can't remember the source) about folks with names that end with the "ie" sound, whether spelled with a "y" or "ie" or however else, which mention that "studies" (I always doubt the accuracy of such results) indicate that folks with names which sound more formal fare better than those with "the more child-like" "ie" sound. That is partial reason that I like to use the "Barbie" name in professional settings. It creates a harmless anomaly so overt that it is almost ridiculous--but, far from ridicule, it is harmless & benign - therefore advantageous."
Not during a business meeting, but I met with a lady who approached me last fall--who I also happened to learn that her name is Barbara. She seemed of Asian descent - and I became pleased that we shared similar heritage; she seemed pleased too. She mentioned that she never uses Barbie.
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If an individual chooses to go by the full form of their name, then I will respect that, and all power to them.
My mum is Vivian, and she will only answer to Vivian, she hates the short form Viv.
I have a cousin who is Rebecca, who dislikes Becky and Becca, so chooses to go by her given name. I have to say, I also prefer Rebecca to either of those two short forms.
My mum is Vivian, and she will only answer to Vivian, she hates the short form Viv.
I have a cousin who is Rebecca, who dislikes Becky and Becca, so chooses to go by her given name. I have to say, I also prefer Rebecca to either of those two short forms.
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I am a bit resolute to adherence to the name that the person has provided.
If someone say her name is Kathy, I will use that form.
If someone (who I believe to be) Elizabeth introduces herself as Beth, I will call her Beth.
If someone who I know uses the form Ben, but states to me that his name is Benjamin, I will call him Benjamin, unless or until he otherwise informs me.
If a teacher, on a first day of school (or something), calls Elizabeth, who states she likes to be called Beth, I'll call her Beth.
The aim is to respect the individual.
In fourth grade, a friend of my mother's, who lived nearby, who had already sometimes served as a babysitter for me, became a first year teacher - and I became enrolled in her class. For one reason or another, I had never addressed her as "Mrs" but used her first name - without any issue. I had to adjust to call her Mrs. ______ … Before this, I also had a cathechism teacher, a lady, who wanted us all (not just me) to call her Mike.
If someone say her name is Kathy, I will use that form.
If someone (who I believe to be) Elizabeth introduces herself as Beth, I will call her Beth.
If someone who I know uses the form Ben, but states to me that his name is Benjamin, I will call him Benjamin, unless or until he otherwise informs me.
If a teacher, on a first day of school (or something), calls Elizabeth, who states she likes to be called Beth, I'll call her Beth.
The aim is to respect the individual.
In fourth grade, a friend of my mother's, who lived nearby, who had already sometimes served as a babysitter for me, became a first year teacher - and I became enrolled in her class. For one reason or another, I had never addressed her as "Mrs" but used her first name - without any issue. I had to adjust to call her Mrs. ______ … Before this, I also had a cathechism teacher, a lady, who wanted us all (not just me) to call her Mike.
This message was edited 8/19/2018, 6:33 AM
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Agreed
I see people saying it's obnoxious or pretentious to stick to a full given name ...But to me it's just plain good manners to call someone by the name they prefer.
I see people saying it's obnoxious or pretentious to stick to a full given name ...But to me it's just plain good manners to call someone by the name they prefer.
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I know more Davids who go by the full name than those who go by David. David is easy to say, which I why I think lots of people go by the name in full and it doesn't seem extremely formal like Alexander or Victoria might. I definitely prefer the name in full.
Katherine is also easy to say and I've known plenty of just Katherines. I've also known scads of Katies and a good many Kates. I love Kate and wouldn't use Katherine without it, but I do think Katherine on its own is perfectly fine.
Elizabeth on the other hand... If I met an Elizabeth who went by the full thing I think I might subconsciously sigh and want to get away because this name is such a pain in the ass to say casually. It's beautiful and I do love it in full but it's a mouthful and it feels formal. I end up saying something closer to Lizbeth if I have to say it a lot.
Names I do prefer in full:
Nicholas
Thomas
Daniel
Edward
Cecilia
Genevieve
Isabel
Rebecca
Virginia
Katherine is also easy to say and I've known plenty of just Katherines. I've also known scads of Katies and a good many Kates. I love Kate and wouldn't use Katherine without it, but I do think Katherine on its own is perfectly fine.
Elizabeth on the other hand... If I met an Elizabeth who went by the full thing I think I might subconsciously sigh and want to get away because this name is such a pain in the ass to say casually. It's beautiful and I do love it in full but it's a mouthful and it feels formal. I end up saying something closer to Lizbeth if I have to say it a lot.
Names I do prefer in full:
Nicholas
Thomas
Daniel
Edward
Cecilia
Genevieve
Isabel
Rebecca
Virginia
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I’m all for it. There are some names that I do prefer in full. I don’t think it can be guaranteed that nns won’t happen, so if I really loathed a common nn I wouldn’t risk it, I don’t mind nns, but I dislike when full names are neglected completely. I love my favourites in full, and intend to actually use them.
A few names I really like in full:
Alexander
Nathaniel
William
Sebastian
Edmund
Theodore
Elizabeth (I do like many of her nns though)
Theodora
Alexandria
Isobel
Florence
A few names I really like in full:
Alexander
Nathaniel
William
Sebastian
Edmund
Theodore
Elizabeth (I do like many of her nns though)
Theodora
Alexandria
Isobel
Florence
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A Katharine can be Kate, Katie or Kathy. Kate is stuck with Kate or Katie, and Kathy is stuck in permanent toddlerhood.
Part of Elizabeth's charm is the variety of possible nns available. If Liz gets too popular or there's a serial killer named Beth, then one can always switch to another nn.
David leads pretty naturally to Dave, but I don't think anything is gained by using Dave instead. Once again, the more variety available, the better.
Part of Elizabeth's charm is the variety of possible nns available. If Liz gets too popular or there's a serial killer named Beth, then one can always switch to another nn.
David leads pretty naturally to Dave, but I don't think anything is gained by using Dave instead. Once again, the more variety available, the better.
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I don't mind what other people want to call themselves: their choice, imo. I do think some people suit a full form better than an nn. Some people I've known who prefer to go by their full names:
Charles (x3)
Catherine
Caroline
Harriet
Kate (her full name. Hates Katie)
William
David (x3)
Christina
Constantia (her mother went by a long full name too, wish I could remember what it was)
Margaret
Jonathan
Charles (x3)
Catherine
Caroline
Harriet
Kate (her full name. Hates Katie)
William
David (x3)
Christina
Constantia (her mother went by a long full name too, wish I could remember what it was)
Margaret
Jonathan
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I am a nicknamer, but I have several full names I prefer without. I don't think it's as easy to do, because people do tend to like to shorten or make things sound affectionate. I wouldn't use a name if I didn't like all semi obvious nickname options.
My son is John, not Johnny by his choice.
I've known William, Nicholas, Elizabeth, Kathryn et al, Oliver, Richard, David (actually haven't met a Dave under 30), Margarethe, and Victoria without them.
Best without a nickname:
Nicholas
Samuel
Frederick
Stephen
Matthew
Michael
Thomas
Vincent
I can't think of any girl ones though I know they are out there.
My son is John, not Johnny by his choice.
I've known William, Nicholas, Elizabeth, Kathryn et al, Oliver, Richard, David (actually haven't met a Dave under 30), Margarethe, and Victoria without them.
Best without a nickname:
Nicholas
Samuel
Frederick
Stephen
Matthew
Michael
Thomas
Vincent
I can't think of any girl ones though I know they are out there.
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There's my name, Jean-my middle name, but the one I always use. It's a hard one to nick-name. Unless someone thought up a completely different name/term.
Actually, there's Tassie. but people IRL aren't going to start calling me that.
Actually, there's Tassie. but people IRL aren't going to start calling me that.
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I don't mind it and I'm used to it because in my family, we're all called by our full names.
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If other people insist on being called by their full name, I don't care. If it came to me naming my own kid, I would want to use a nickname, if I could. Using the full form all the time would be weird, and too formal, for me.
This message was edited 8/18/2018, 7:07 PM
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I don't think it works for names longer than 3 syllables. Some people are going to shorten those no matter what. Or at least, that's what happens with mine.
Other than that, of course wanting to be called your actual name is fine.
Other than that, of course wanting to be called your actual name is fine.
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