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HelpRe: Smilla eta
in reply to a message by Jagoda
Oh, I think of you as pretty established! I know you're new under this username, but I remember you from when you were here before.
I don't mean to pile on you. You're making some claims that several people disagree with, so we're voicing our disagreement.
I don't disagree that bullying is more serious, but I think what some kids think of as harmless teasing can have a really negative impact and I think what starts out as teasing can lead to bullying. I also notice that kids who get teased a lot seem to also be the targets of bullies. I didn't say they were the same or that one wasn't worse; I just said I don't think they're completely different.
I really would be more deeply offended if someone called me smelly than if someone called me a bitch. Someone calling me a bitch reveals something to me about that person. Someone calling me smelly tells me that I smell bad, which I would find incredibly embarrassing. I've been called a bitch before, btw, and it didn't really personally affect me that much because the use of the word signaled to me that I could write the person off.
~Norah
I don't mean to pile on you. You're making some claims that several people disagree with, so we're voicing our disagreement.
I don't disagree that bullying is more serious, but I think what some kids think of as harmless teasing can have a really negative impact and I think what starts out as teasing can lead to bullying. I also notice that kids who get teased a lot seem to also be the targets of bullies. I didn't say they were the same or that one wasn't worse; I just said I don't think they're completely different.
I really would be more deeply offended if someone called me smelly than if someone called me a bitch. Someone calling me a bitch reveals something to me about that person. Someone calling me smelly tells me that I smell bad, which I would find incredibly embarrassing. I've been called a bitch before, btw, and it didn't really personally affect me that much because the use of the word signaled to me that I could write the person off.
~Norah
This message was edited 5/3/2018, 5:20 PM
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Replies
as a fellow Brit...
I think this might be a cultural thing, because I'd agree that 'smelly' is a playground kind of insult here and not something I'd take at all seriously - and yup, friends and family might say 'Oi Smelly!' in an affectionate way.
I think this might be a cultural thing, because I'd agree that 'smelly' is a playground kind of insult here and not something I'd take at all seriously - and yup, friends and family might say 'Oi Smelly!' in an affectionate way.
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Thanks for backing me up!
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agree
Call somebody a bitch, and they might or might not actually be one. It's a matter of opinion, up for debate.
But smelly is smelly; the vast majority of people agree that certain odors are unpleasant or disgusting, and aside from very little kids who might just say things like smelly or stupid or fat or ugly because they are general insults and not necessarily true, calling somebody smelly means exactly that, that they smell bad.
And being called smelly is especially insulting because it calls into question that person's hygiene and possibly their good sense. Like implying that they haven't got the sense to wash regularly or use deodorant, or that their home is unclean as well.
Remember "Harriet the Spy?" After the other kids got hold of her notebook and read all the nasty-but-true things she'd written about them, they started picking on her, and one of the things they did was pass a note (which Harriet intercepted, probably as they thought she would) that said she smelled. This bothered her so much that she actually got excused to go to the bathroom, where she sniffed herself all over and even washed her feet.
People do not want to be smelly, never mind get called smelly.
Call somebody a bitch, and they might or might not actually be one. It's a matter of opinion, up for debate.
But smelly is smelly; the vast majority of people agree that certain odors are unpleasant or disgusting, and aside from very little kids who might just say things like smelly or stupid or fat or ugly because they are general insults and not necessarily true, calling somebody smelly means exactly that, that they smell bad.
And being called smelly is especially insulting because it calls into question that person's hygiene and possibly their good sense. Like implying that they haven't got the sense to wash regularly or use deodorant, or that their home is unclean as well.
Remember "Harriet the Spy?" After the other kids got hold of her notebook and read all the nasty-but-true things she'd written about them, they started picking on her, and one of the things they did was pass a note (which Harriet intercepted, probably as they thought she would) that said she smelled. This bothered her so much that she actually got excused to go to the bathroom, where she sniffed herself all over and even washed her feet.
People do not want to be smelly, never mind get called smelly.
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