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HelpRe: Smilla
in reply to a message by queenv
Teasing and bullying are completely different things, though. You might get teased for a name but not really bullied, or not often, and as I said, a name isn’t the first port of call for a bully. I’ve had people make puns out of my name, but calling it teasing would be a stretch, let alone calling it bullying.
I still think it’s a cop out of an answer and it’s thrown at anything that’s remotely unusual or foreign. And like I said before, I think it’s an attempt to play on a potential parent’s emotions.
Also, I read through my posts and I haven’t said that it doesn’t happen, ever. Just that it doesn’t “really” i.e. much.
Anyway, I have clearly had different experiences, being in an entirely different country and all.
Jagoda
★ Top 25: https://www.behindthename.com/pnl/136993/97278 ★
I still think it’s a cop out of an answer and it’s thrown at anything that’s remotely unusual or foreign. And like I said before, I think it’s an attempt to play on a potential parent’s emotions.
Also, I read through my posts and I haven’t said that it doesn’t happen, ever. Just that it doesn’t “really” i.e. much.
Anyway, I have clearly had different experiences, being in an entirely different country and all.
Jagoda
★ Top 25: https://www.behindthename.com/pnl/136993/97278 ★
This message was edited 5/3/2018, 4:26 PM
Archived Thread - replies disabled
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Replies
"it’s thrown at anything that’s remotely unusual or foreign" - nah, it's thrown at anything that sounds remotely like a word with negative associations to the hearer.
Also I think the assertion that teasing and bullying are COMPLETELY different things is a little off.
Idk, I'm just thinking "out loud" here I guess. To my ears and eyes Smilla seems really close to Smelly, and, like queenv, there are few things I'd rather be called than smelly. Eek. Just thinking about it makes me uncomfortable! And the more I think about it the more I can totally see kids latching onto that and using it as a taunt. And I would probably bring that up if a friend asked me about using the name Smilla! Not to "play on their emotions" but...because they asked me for an opinion. And that is my opinion!
Also I think the assertion that teasing and bullying are COMPLETELY different things is a little off.
Idk, I'm just thinking "out loud" here I guess. To my ears and eyes Smilla seems really close to Smelly, and, like queenv, there are few things I'd rather be called than smelly. Eek. Just thinking about it makes me uncomfortable! And the more I think about it the more I can totally see kids latching onto that and using it as a taunt. And I would probably bring that up if a friend asked me about using the name Smilla! Not to "play on their emotions" but...because they asked me for an opinion. And that is my opinion!
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And it’s thrown at foreign and unusual names. This board always has issues with foreign names in particular, to the point it’s not even worth bothering asking about them.
I disagree. Bullying is much more serious.
Smilla did not make me think of smelly. Smelly is a really infantile insult and I can’t believe it bothers people so much. Are people really saying that smelly is worse than bitch? I had to report someone for behaving aggressively towards me last month and it absolutely would not have been half as much of an issue if he was calling me smelly and not bitch.
Again, I have had a different experience and it’s completely valid that I share that without being told I’m wrong.
ETA: I feel like if a more established poster had said any of what I said there wouldn’t have been any issue at all, but this seems to happen to me a lot and people are always so ready to pile on (and defend the more established person if applicable).
I disagree. Bullying is much more serious.
Smilla did not make me think of smelly. Smelly is a really infantile insult and I can’t believe it bothers people so much. Are people really saying that smelly is worse than bitch? I had to report someone for behaving aggressively towards me last month and it absolutely would not have been half as much of an issue if he was calling me smelly and not bitch.
Again, I have had a different experience and it’s completely valid that I share that without being told I’m wrong.
ETA: I feel like if a more established poster had said any of what I said there wouldn’t have been any issue at all, but this seems to happen to me a lot and people are always so ready to pile on (and defend the more established person if applicable).
This message was edited 5/3/2018, 4:53 PM
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Smilla doesn't make me think of smelly at all, either...my most immediate word associations with it were: smile, smirky, smurf, smear...and smile seemed like the most obvious one, so the others didn't seem like that big of a deal, even though I don't like them.
But yeah, I would rather be called a bitch than smelly. If someone calls me a bitch in a malicious way, I assume they're immature or have anger issues. If someone called me smelly, I'd be embarrassed...unless it was a situation in which I'd be expected to smell, like if I'd just been exercising or something...
But yeah, I would rather be called a bitch than smelly. If someone calls me a bitch in a malicious way, I assume they're immature or have anger issues. If someone called me smelly, I'd be embarrassed...unless it was a situation in which I'd be expected to smell, like if I'd just been exercising or something...
This message was edited 5/3/2018, 6:51 PM
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Oh, I think of you as pretty established! I know you're new under this username, but I remember you from when you were here before.
I don't mean to pile on you. You're making some claims that several people disagree with, so we're voicing our disagreement.
I don't disagree that bullying is more serious, but I think what some kids think of as harmless teasing can have a really negative impact and I think what starts out as teasing can lead to bullying. I also notice that kids who get teased a lot seem to also be the targets of bullies. I didn't say they were the same or that one wasn't worse; I just said I don't think they're completely different.
I really would be more deeply offended if someone called me smelly than if someone called me a bitch. Someone calling me a bitch reveals something to me about that person. Someone calling me smelly tells me that I smell bad, which I would find incredibly embarrassing. I've been called a bitch before, btw, and it didn't really personally affect me that much because the use of the word signaled to me that I could write the person off.
I don't mean to pile on you. You're making some claims that several people disagree with, so we're voicing our disagreement.
I don't disagree that bullying is more serious, but I think what some kids think of as harmless teasing can have a really negative impact and I think what starts out as teasing can lead to bullying. I also notice that kids who get teased a lot seem to also be the targets of bullies. I didn't say they were the same or that one wasn't worse; I just said I don't think they're completely different.
I really would be more deeply offended if someone called me smelly than if someone called me a bitch. Someone calling me a bitch reveals something to me about that person. Someone calling me smelly tells me that I smell bad, which I would find incredibly embarrassing. I've been called a bitch before, btw, and it didn't really personally affect me that much because the use of the word signaled to me that I could write the person off.
This message was edited 5/3/2018, 5:20 PM
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as a fellow Brit...
I think this might be a cultural thing, because I'd agree that 'smelly' is a playground kind of insult here and not something I'd take at all seriously - and yup, friends and family might say 'Oi Smelly!' in an affectionate way.
I think this might be a cultural thing, because I'd agree that 'smelly' is a playground kind of insult here and not something I'd take at all seriously - and yup, friends and family might say 'Oi Smelly!' in an affectionate way.
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Thanks for backing me up!
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agree
Call somebody a bitch, and they might or might not actually be one. It's a matter of opinion, up for debate.
But smelly is smelly; the vast majority of people agree that certain odors are unpleasant or disgusting, and aside from very little kids who might just say things like smelly or stupid or fat or ugly because they are general insults and not necessarily true, calling somebody smelly means exactly that, that they smell bad.
And being called smelly is especially insulting because it calls into question that person's hygiene and possibly their good sense. Like implying that they haven't got the sense to wash regularly or use deodorant, or that their home is unclean as well.
Remember "Harriet the Spy?" After the other kids got hold of her notebook and read all the nasty-but-true things she'd written about them, they started picking on her, and one of the things they did was pass a note (which Harriet intercepted, probably as they thought she would) that said she smelled. This bothered her so much that she actually got excused to go to the bathroom, where she sniffed herself all over and even washed her feet.
People do not want to be smelly, never mind get called smelly.
Call somebody a bitch, and they might or might not actually be one. It's a matter of opinion, up for debate.
But smelly is smelly; the vast majority of people agree that certain odors are unpleasant or disgusting, and aside from very little kids who might just say things like smelly or stupid or fat or ugly because they are general insults and not necessarily true, calling somebody smelly means exactly that, that they smell bad.
And being called smelly is especially insulting because it calls into question that person's hygiene and possibly their good sense. Like implying that they haven't got the sense to wash regularly or use deodorant, or that their home is unclean as well.
Remember "Harriet the Spy?" After the other kids got hold of her notebook and read all the nasty-but-true things she'd written about them, they started picking on her, and one of the things they did was pass a note (which Harriet intercepted, probably as they thought she would) that said she smelled. This bothered her so much that she actually got excused to go to the bathroom, where she sniffed herself all over and even washed her feet.
People do not want to be smelly, never mind get called smelly.
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I don't think this has anything to do with how established you are. People keep disagreeing and you keep going "no no no", making the thread longer, drawing attention to it, so more people are coming in (or "piling on" as you say) and more are disagreeing with you. (I always read the long stair-steppy threads personally). The more replies you make the more chance of response. What else are you expecting to happen? Agree to disagree and move on, or accept that more people are going to say something.
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