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HelpRe: Celebrity Babies of 2016
in reply to a message by RDNZL
Luna Simone (Chrissy Teigen/John Legend)I hope Legend isn't her real last name, because Luna Legend is pretty silly.
Boomer Phelps (Michael Phelps/Nicole Johnson) Because you don't deserve an actual name; they really wanted a dog.
Remington Alexander (Kelly Clarkson/Brandon Blackstock)Remington Blackstock, the newest in shotgun technology.
Dream Kardashian (Blac Chyna/Rob Kardashian)Because who needs reality when you own reality TV?
Ode Mountain (Jena Malone/Ethan DeLorenzo) Ode to a mountain.
Wilder Grace (Alison Pill/Joshua Leonard) Because Grace is just so tame, it needs to be wilder.
Kirra Max (Audrina Patridge/Corey Bohan) Kirra looks like a girls' name.
Ocean King (Carlos PenaVega/Alexa PenaVega) The Ocean King was the most profitable tuna boat in the Pacific till Typhoon Bob got to it. Now it's a brand of tuna named after the unlucky ship.
Dusty Rose (Adam Levine/Behati Prinsloo) Dusty Rose was THE color for weddings in the eighties. Blah.
Journey River (Megan Fox/Brian Austin Green) Journey River Green. Journey Green River. Green River Journey.
Heiress Harris (T.I./Tiny) Make a rhyme anytime. Bonus jerk points for sticking a phony social-class indicator on her.
Julia Mimi Bella (Lacey Chabert/David Nehdar) Things were going well till they stuck baby-talk sounds in the middle of it.
Samuel Thomas (Catherine Guidici/Sean Lowe) Wins the good-taste award.
Story Goldberg (Soleil Moon Frye/Jason Goldberg) Maybe Story can be friends with Dream, since they're not real.
Hunter Zion (Jurnee Smollett-Bell/Josiah Bell) Very Utah.
"It's one thing to be open-minded and quite another to be so open-minded your brains fall out."--Dear Abby
"Let other people push you around, and you deserve whatever bad things happen after that."--Lauren Bacall
Boomer Phelps (Michael Phelps/Nicole Johnson) Because you don't deserve an actual name; they really wanted a dog.
Remington Alexander (Kelly Clarkson/Brandon Blackstock)Remington Blackstock, the newest in shotgun technology.
Dream Kardashian (Blac Chyna/Rob Kardashian)Because who needs reality when you own reality TV?
Ode Mountain (Jena Malone/Ethan DeLorenzo) Ode to a mountain.
Wilder Grace (Alison Pill/Joshua Leonard) Because Grace is just so tame, it needs to be wilder.
Kirra Max (Audrina Patridge/Corey Bohan) Kirra looks like a girls' name.
Ocean King (Carlos PenaVega/Alexa PenaVega) The Ocean King was the most profitable tuna boat in the Pacific till Typhoon Bob got to it. Now it's a brand of tuna named after the unlucky ship.
Dusty Rose (Adam Levine/Behati Prinsloo) Dusty Rose was THE color for weddings in the eighties. Blah.
Journey River (Megan Fox/Brian Austin Green) Journey River Green. Journey Green River. Green River Journey.
Heiress Harris (T.I./Tiny) Make a rhyme anytime. Bonus jerk points for sticking a phony social-class indicator on her.
Julia Mimi Bella (Lacey Chabert/David Nehdar) Things were going well till they stuck baby-talk sounds in the middle of it.
Samuel Thomas (Catherine Guidici/Sean Lowe) Wins the good-taste award.
Story Goldberg (Soleil Moon Frye/Jason Goldberg) Maybe Story can be friends with Dream, since they're not real.
Hunter Zion (Jurnee Smollett-Bell/Josiah Bell) Very Utah.
"It's one thing to be open-minded and quite another to be so open-minded your brains fall out."--Dear Abby
"Let other people push you around, and you deserve whatever bad things happen after that."--Lauren Bacall
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