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HelpThis (m)
in reply to a message by Tuesday
There's a difference between criticizing a name and criticizing the people who choose to use the name, and/or making any assumptions about them. The latter is offensive while the former is not.
I'm okay with people saying that Victoria (my daughter's name) is snooty, prickly, unfriendly, harsh, what-have-you, but if someone said that I must be a pretentious snob or a wanna-be aristocrat because I used it, I'd be offended.
I'm okay with people saying that Victoria (my daughter's name) is snooty, prickly, unfriendly, harsh, what-have-you, but if someone said that I must be a pretentious snob or a wanna-be aristocrat because I used it, I'd be offended.
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What if I say "Victoria always looks so snooty. It makes me think her mother must be a snob."
Where I, or my feelings, are the topic, and I'm not attacking the name, so much as describing my personal response to it?
Is it different enough from saying "Victoria is a snooty name and only a snob could use it."?
WDYT and why?
I think it is different enough, for this board at least. When I read: "It makes me think the parents must be illiterate," I interpret: "Some people don't like Kaleb because they feel it's important to present oneself as 'literate,' and they think conventional spelling shows 'literacy.'" The point of her saying her opinion is to advise against a name because of her negative perception of it, not because the people who use it are, in fact, inferior ... I don't interpret her as saying "Kaleb is a stupid name for stupid people."
Like, even if I insert my daughter's misspelled name into this thread and imagine Danno and Bex were talking about it ... I'm not offended by what they said. I'd be interested to know if people think the name's spelling reflects ignorance and looked down on that. It's good information about what some people honestly think. It doesn't hurt me.
Actually, even if someone said her name is a stupid name for stupid people, I'd still just sigh and think "welp, someone's wrong on the internet again"
Where I, or my feelings, are the topic, and I'm not attacking the name, so much as describing my personal response to it?
Is it different enough from saying "Victoria is a snooty name and only a snob could use it."?
WDYT and why?
I think it is different enough, for this board at least. When I read: "It makes me think the parents must be illiterate," I interpret: "Some people don't like Kaleb because they feel it's important to present oneself as 'literate,' and they think conventional spelling shows 'literacy.'" The point of her saying her opinion is to advise against a name because of her negative perception of it, not because the people who use it are, in fact, inferior ... I don't interpret her as saying "Kaleb is a stupid name for stupid people."
Like, even if I insert my daughter's misspelled name into this thread and imagine Danno and Bex were talking about it ... I'm not offended by what they said. I'd be interested to know if people think the name's spelling reflects ignorance and looked down on that. It's good information about what some people honestly think. It doesn't hurt me.
Actually, even if someone said her name is a stupid name for stupid people, I'd still just sigh and think "welp, someone's wrong on the internet again"
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Nvm
This was sort of a mess lol
This was sort of a mess lol
This message was edited 7/19/2016, 6:54 PM
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For me the reason why it looks illiterate is when my young cousins or young students write, they often spell C words with a K (and sometimes backwards), i'm not saying the parents ARE illiterate, but thats what it reminds me of. I didn't explain myself very clearly.
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This is a very polite and hopeful take on people's comments, haha.
My interpretation is that "It makes me think" and "It is true that" are not very different in cases like these. Also, I have never interpreted someone using the word illiterate to mean anything other than stupid (unless they were, ya know, discussing actual literacy within a population). Of course if someone actually did directly say "this is a stupid name for stupid people", it would be easy to brush off because it's so broad it's funny!
I understand some people wouldn't care about such phrasing, and that's great. I just think it's, idk, generally uncool to use words like "trashy" or "illiterate" in response to a letter change when someone just said below it's her son's name. Guess I'm a softy.
My interpretation is that "It makes me think" and "It is true that" are not very different in cases like these. Also, I have never interpreted someone using the word illiterate to mean anything other than stupid (unless they were, ya know, discussing actual literacy within a population). Of course if someone actually did directly say "this is a stupid name for stupid people", it would be easy to brush off because it's so broad it's funny!
I understand some people wouldn't care about such phrasing, and that's great. I just think it's, idk, generally uncool to use words like "trashy" or "illiterate" in response to a letter change when someone just said below it's her son's name. Guess I'm a softy.
This message was edited 7/19/2016, 1:10 PM
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This.
When I first posted on name boards, I got upset about people "trashing" my favorite names. But I got over it (I wouldn't still be here if I hadn't). Actually, once I stopped taking it personally, opinions like that proved useful. Sometimes it would put me off a name, other times I just had to love the name all the more. If I loved it despite knowing others opinions, the name fit *me* well.
When I first posted on name boards, I got upset about people "trashing" my favorite names. But I got over it (I wouldn't still be here if I hadn't). Actually, once I stopped taking it personally, opinions like that proved useful. Sometimes it would put me off a name, other times I just had to love the name all the more. If I loved it despite knowing others opinions, the name fit *me* well.
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