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I used to babysit a girl at church named Gay. Her parents were named Guy and Betty Jo. The mom wanted to name her dd something similar to Guy so she named her Gaythelene Irene (gm's name). The whole combo was pronounced gay-tha-LEEN eye-REEN. Hideous, huh? Anyway, her name certainly was not easy to live with, that's for sure. (As a side note, Gay married an Italian and named her ds Alessandro. Way to go, Gay!)

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Gay has a nice sound but I'd keep it in the middle.

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BTW, I adore Isla.

I wouldn't use Gay either, it is a shame as you want to honour your mother. I too would use a name that is similar

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Gayle
Gail
Gaynor/ Gaenor
Gaea
Gae
Gaila
Galina

My BF's great-uncle is named Gay, and he has no troubles with it. (although he was born before it had the obvious stigma tacked on)

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In that particular situation, I'd use Gay as a middle name, or use a similar name as the first name, such as Gail.

I actually rather like Gay but I don't think any kid would want to bear it, even as a mn.

Roseann Gay
Lana Gay
Jerilyn Gay
Maryanne Gay
Marilee Gay
Rosalind Gay
Edwina Gay
Trudy Gay
Cherry Gay
Charlotte Gay
Shelley Gay
Suzanne Gay
Ivy Gay
Yvonne Gay
Elaine Gay
Rose Gay
Darlene Gay
Maureen Gay
Linnea Gay
Aloma Gay

I have a lovely cousin named Gaye. She's such a nice lady that to me it seems like a really sweet and happy name, but she's also in her sixties, so I don't think she gets a lot of comments beyond 'that's unusual' - and I do think it would be a difficult name to have as a child now. Gaynor might be a bit more usable. Gaëlle / Gaelle is nice too.

I know someone who's up in yrs. whose name is Gae. Perhaps if a different spelling is acceptable, you could use that to curb people's attitudes since both are ok... or you could find a name w/ similar meaning to either her fn or mn... Another way to do things is to ask your mum if she could have chosen her own name, what would she have picked and use that.

Personally, I vote that you go ahead and use it as a middle name and just tell her that if anybody makes fun of her, it's because they're ignorant so, their opinion doesn't count.

I have a friend whose ln is Gay; unfortunately her initials are B.J. This causes amusement sometimes when people walk past her office door and see the name plate.

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Isla Gay would work; also Lucy Gay, Antonia Gay, Fenella Gay ...

Sorry, but I don't think Gay is usable at this day and age, at least not in the English-speaking world. I don't recommend it.

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Gaia or Gail could work, though.

I know a lady named Gaylia. Would that be close enough to honor?

That is a tough one. Though most societies are getting better at being more respectful of different lifestyles, there is still a huge wall of "us vs. them" mentality out there that would be really hard for a little kid to bear I think.

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May I ask what her first name is?

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I'd probably use Gayle myself - it's in there, and very close in sound. It doesn't seem fair, and it isn't, but unless you are the kind of person who wants to train their children to be crusaders for a cause right from the get-go, I'd sidestep that whole thing.

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If you did want to use it though, for some reason I really like the idea of pairing it with a really whimsical Medieval type name; I guess to heighten the old meaning of the word gay? Like Guinevere Gay. Or maybe a Jazz-ager, like Ruby Gay?

I agree with Nicola that even as a mn it would be embarrassing to a young person.

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BTW, at our church there is a 60-year-old woman by this name. No one thinks much of it, and she seems to be fine with being called Gay. Of course, she was named Gay before it the word meant what it does now.

I wouldn't recommend using Gay as a boy's name...

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Isla Gay, Tenley Gay, Scarlett Gay...Of those three, I like Scarlett Gay best--it has a nice, upbeat cheerfulness to it. Isla Gay, to me, looks a bit like "Gray Isle"...it sounds very thoughtful and poetic.

No, I'm afraid I personally don't think it is redemable in this day an age. Even as a mn I think it would cause a certain amount of embarassment to a young girl or teenager.

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Other options;
Gaelle
Gail
Gael
Gala
Gale
Galia
Galya
Gayla
Gaylee (I knew a woman with this name once)

Gayle
Galen

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that's all I got.