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Beaux Anthony: So she has more than one beau named Anthony. Doesn’t that get confusing?
Laddie David: Laddie? “Little Boy David.”
Tandy John: Tandy is baby-talk for candy.
Timothy Wreath: I feel like my tongue is sprained.
Rufus Diggs: Perfect name for a cartoon hillbilly.
Spring Angel: Good name for a garden fertilizer.
Syclaly Cristal Rios: Sickly Crystal.
Brooklyn Winchester: Ugg Leigh.
Buckston Hunter: I think Ted Nugent can squeeze him in to his Academy of Masculine Charm and Grace.
Atreyu: Why is this so damn popular? Do people really like the sound of a sneeze?
Brylirr Thore-Graysen: Oh, the humanity!
Highlander Journey: New four-wheel driver, good for driving in Scotland?
Kelee Lion: Meet the queen of the eighties cheerleaders! Miss Kelee Lion1 Like, ohmigahhhhd!
Holdyn Lucky: If you’ve got a winning hand in poker, you’re holdin’ lucky.
Willa Roux: the kangaroo.
Chia Kay: Chia Pet hair.
Moxie-Mae Elizabeth: Yeck. Get me something not so sweet.
Sly Stark: that sly, stark-neakd guy skulking around…
Scout Hardin Levi: A scout hard in his Levi’s. Now that’s a very wholesome image.
Heaven Lee Rayne: As somebody who has seen exactly two days in the past week without rain, I’m over the whole “heavenly rain” business.